My beautiful daughter

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Originally posted by: Angie on 26 April 2012

My 14yo daughter is really worrying me. Lately she has been crying all the time without any reason. She has kept it to herself until yesterday when she finally told me. She doesn't know what's wrong or why she is sad. She always has friends around and appears really happy. She told me externally she shows she's happy but inside she doesn't feel right. I know what she means - I do the same thing but I'm an adult and responsible for myself. She's my child and I'm responsible for her. I don't want to let this go without fixing it. I'm making an appointment with our GP today but I'm wondering if she is put on medication will she be on them forever? Is this my fault for not dealing with my issues properly? Is it my fault because I don't cuddle her enough? Will we get through this?

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Originally posted by: karen on 26 April 2012

Hi Angie, I feel for your situation. The last thing we want is for our children to go through the same thing. You have more things to worry about than blaming yourself for what is most likely genetics. The up side is that you know what she is going through and you can help her through it. Keep talking and listening to her. I'm sure she finds comfort that at least she doesn't need to justify her feelings. It might help to remember that while her feelings are similar to yours she is coming from a different place ie. different life experience, personality etc. It may not be as bleak as you expect. I think it's wonderful your daughter can share this with you and you may end up helping each other. take care and all the best karen

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Originally posted by: David Charles on 26 April 2012

Dear Angie, If your daughter was going off the rails and you didn't notice then maybe you could blame yourself. I prefer to think of these situations as just bad judgement. I mean, how can a mother be blamed for anything when they do such an amazing job ? Having any 14 year old daughter talk to a parent, for me, is a minor miracle and you should be congratulating yourself that communication is sincere and genuine. This anxiety/depression might only be short term and I don't think it's really helpful by wondering if medication will be for life.......... Your daughter is for life. Mix it up a bit and break the in house crying. When kids focus on life outside their inner problems they usually find a balance. Adios, David.

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Originally posted by: stephen on 27 April 2012

Hi Angie, Please make that appointment with the GP as soon as you can.It's important a proper diagnosis is made and your GP should be able to do this. The GP might suggest some therapy with a Psychologist instead of medication at this stage. Please let us know how the appointment goes. Stephen.

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Originally posted by: geoff on 27 April 2012

dear Angie, depression can and will strike anyone, it doesn't matter whether the family situation is going along nicely or not. Some kids or grown ups can have all the love in the world, but if depression is lurking around then nothing can stop it. It's not your fault and you should never believe so, even kids with parents who had this illness cope very well, and perhaps become stronger. There's no way anyone can protect their children, partners or friends from this illness, it just overcomes us and swallows us up. It's great that she has confided in you, and that's the first stepping stone for her recovery, and going to the doctor will benefit the both of you. Angie how much is too much affection or attention or where do we draw the line, there isn't any line, it's only what we can give that the other person appreciates, it's not smothering them or neglecting them, it's just an equal balance. Unfortunately your daughter is only 14, but with your help plus the doctors assistance, both of you will improve. It's a new learning curve that you will benefit from. I truly hope that this is true. Love Geoff. x

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Originally posted by: F on 28 April 2012

Please don`t blame yourself.That may seem easier said than done sometimes but the more you blame yourself it will make YOU sick too. The best thing I can suggest is to follow your instinct and see your GP with your daughter and talk through your worries,thoughts etc and go from there Best of luck and remember all who come on this bullietin board have or had similar experiences and we are right behind you.

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Originally posted by: Angie on 30 April 2012

Thank you so much for all your wonderful advice and for taking the time to reply. I've said it before and I'll say it again I'd be lost without Beyondblue and you beautiful people. I have taken my daughter to our gp and she has started the ball rolling for counselling. Like most of you she was glad that my daughter confides in me and trusts me totally. I must have been blind because I didn't realise how important that was. I thought it was just a way of life. All my kids tell me everything all the time no matter how big, small, happy or sad and I always listen. I thought that was just the normal thing to do so I was surprised by the comments of praise about that. It's been a tough couple of weeks seeing a very bubbly, bright, happy, energetic girl just shrivel up and lose all that. Thank you again everyone - you're just wonderful!!

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Originally posted by: Deborah on 30 April 2012

Dear Angie I know exactly what you are feeling. Our children all suffer from various degrees of depression and the iniatial thought was what have we done? We are a loving family with "normal" lives but have a genetic tendency to this illness. We all can understand how each feels at various stages of this horrible illness. Hormones and this age is a difficult time. Going to your GP is very important to get an outside assessment and help. Medication, therapy and diagnosis is different for each patient so this is a important visit. Its wonderful you and your daughter can talk about these issues. My daughters are the same and at various times of the month sometimes their moods go up and down even though they take medication. As they have become older they a more aware of their condition and there responses to stress, hormones and exercise. Love and listening are all our children need sometimes to help through some of lifes hurdles. Its nothing you have done so stop beating yourself up. Good luck Angie be in touch x lov Deb

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Originally posted by: geoff on 1 May 2012

dear Angie, you are definitely a beautiful mother and lady of course to have this most important association with your daughter. We all have to remember that as the hormones change over time so does the person, but if your child can relate their problems, both good and bad, then that's exactly the ideal situation. All the very best for you and your daughter, and please let us know on how it unfolds. Love Geoff. x

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Originally posted by: Angie on 2 May 2012

Hey there guys I'm back for a little more advice please. I just can't get what's happening at the moment. My once gorgeous girl is turning into a monster. She roars, screams, kicks, slams doors, cries and hates life. She has no motivation whatsoever and enjoys nothing other than what I just listed here. I understand I need to be patient but my patience is running out quickly. I've been letting her get away with things like if she doesn't do her chores I've been overlooking it at the moment and doint them myself. I know she has a short fuse and I don't want this constant explosion that we are having. As for discipline well - I have no idea how to handle that. Do I still take things away like I would normally. I don't want to tip her over the edge. She left for school today saying she's never coming back and if he does she will kill herself. We are not that bad honestly. Please help me, please I'm so lost. I don't want to be here anymore. I've got a good mind of not being here and switching off my phone for a couple of hours this afternoon to make her realise how important family is but once again I'm scared of what this would do for her. I'm treading on egg shells and I'm terrified. How can these changes happen so quickly? I don't know what to do anymore. I know as a mum I need to be here and support the kids but it's all beyond me right now. I have contacted our gp and now it's a waiting game..... Thanks again everyone xx