Husband Depressed, but wont seek help and blames it one everyon/everything else. Im finding it hard to stay but we have a 2 year old.

[Nymphadora_Tonks]

I sincerely thank anyone who reads this sorry in advance for the ramble!

I've been with my husband for 13 years, we have a 2yo old child together and I love him but that love is fading. He started showing signs of depression about a year ago when his boss started being abusive and messing with his head, Ordering him to do something, & then yelling at him for doing it etc. He also started 5 home renovations & wanted to complete them himself in a ridiculously short time frame. When he realised that this couldnt be done, he completely broke down. He wouldnt eat or drink, wouldnt leave the bed for days using a various range of excuses, & saying he didnt want to live anymore. I waited on him hand & foot and tried to help all while being told to F** off etc, & then in the next breath, 'please dont leave me, i love you' etc. Since this time, he has gone in waves of sleeping all day, being verbally abusive, hurtful or manupilative, Staying up all hours of the night & picking at his face to the point where i've suspected drugs were involved. He took out a large personal loan & borrowed money from his family, all up about $8000 worth & i have no idea what he spent it on (he doesn't know that I know this). I dont know how to confront him about it without him blowing it into a huge argument full of lies & excuses. He started seeing a phychologist in February at my request, who unfortunately was TERRIBLE. She only focussed on how good his job was & to just try to ignore his abusive boss. He then refused to go & hasn't been to see one since - I fear that it has put him off seeing anyone at all. 

Our child reacts to his behaviour by not wanting to go near him, which upsets him more. He yells at me infront of her & when i tell him to stop and/or save it for later he just yells more. I honestly believe that he doesnt think his behaviour is extreme or unacceptable, he simply can't see it as more than expressing his emotions. He has actually said "Oh so I cant have any emotions then is that it? I cant be sad when bad things happen?". Or when I call him out on the way he speaks to me, he makes me feel like its my fault or that I'm the reason that he is acting that way, & then I get the guilts on & apologise, often for something I didnt do.

I have thought of seeking help for myself and asking him to attend? I cant go through much more of this, but my main concern is our child. I dont want to negatively affect her - is it better to leave now or wait a bit longer and see?

[Nymphadora_Tonks]

Thank you - I did witness some of his old boss's behaviour but he has a new job which was great to begin with, but as soon as his new boss starts acting like a boss and not a friend (asking to do overtime or cracking the whip so to speak) he doesnt deal with it very well, and all of a sudden his boss is a horrible person. 

 We had a great weekend, and he even got up out of bed early this morning to go to work and was acting fairly normal - he did start complaining of leg and back pain (his usual go-to to get out of things) - but he still got up and went to work which is great. We saw a doc, and got a bloodtest - just waiting on results and if he wants to see a mental health professional and go from there 🙂

I havent confronted about the money, but I have been much less tolerant of his behaviour which has made a bit of a difference. 

 Thank you again for your advice! I hope you are well.