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anyone here have any experiences with a spouse that has ocpd or may have ocpd
Having had major issues with my wife over the last 15 years approx, been together 25 years first 10 blissful and close. until first baby arrived,.
Its now near the end, for several years i have decided i have had enough. but put it off for the kids. Then somehow i came across ocpd. ocpd fits like a glove on what i perceive to be the the problem with my wife. To me its crystal clear. Is there someone who has had there spouse diagnosed that can help me is some discussion. Shes a tuff one.
Hi Dalailama, I can certainly understand why you are feeling frustrated living with someone with OCD. It is a very frustrating form of anxiety disorder and in my experience also extremely difficult to treat . The first issue is that the person involved must acknowledge that the thoughts they have around their obsessions are indeed anxiety based and not "real" or healthy. They must then have the desire to want to challenge the thoughts which for them is usually pretty scary as often the obsessive thoughts come with a kind of threatening aspect to them , like " if you don't do this , something bad will happen".
The thoughts have usually made the person believe that if they do some sort of ritual , they will be spared the consequences of the bad outcome. So ... For example , someone with OCD might believe that you need turn a light on and off 3 times instead of just once or else one of the kids will be harmed.
Now many people live with their "secret " OCD thoughts and rituals and never present for treatment. But if it is interfering with their life , upsetting them, or the lives of people around them, then I think it's time to get some help.
The first point of call is your GP.
There is info on the Beyond Blue website ,and also the SANE website has info about dealing with someone in your family with OCD.
Na its ocpd based .very little ocd.
Well at least based on my reading about it ocd and ocpd being quite different. She simply does not think she is wrong even a tiny bit
My husbands psychiatrist thinks he has OCPD. My husband is Aspergers though so all his rigidity and rules relate much more to that and he has been that way for many many years, since a child, whereas OCPD seems to develop later. My husband has no hoarding and no devotion to work at the expense of family. He is highly perfectionistic, gets overly concerned with rules and transgressions but again for a man with autistic tendencies that makes sense. When he is very depressed and feeling out of control his need for control escalates and he gets much more rigid and rule driven. When he is well he is more relaxed and flexible though I would never say he is an easy going type.
Your wife would need to meet quite a few criteria
*Excessive devotion to work that impairs social and family activities
*Excessive fixation with lists, rules and minor details
*Perfectionism that interferes with finishing tasks
*Rigid following of moral and ethical codes
*Unwillingness to assign tasks unless others perform exactly as asked
*Lack of generosity; extreme frugality without reason
Sometimes when people are anxious or depressed and feeling a lack of control they make seek to control what is around them and seem more highly strung and irritable. Has your wife seen a Gp or psychologist for any mental health issues?
I have recently been "officially" diagnosed with ocpd (but have technically had it all my life). If you want any advice or info from someone with personal experience and understanding I am happy to help out! I've found that the internet doesn't provide much support or information about ocpd, but I know a lot from having it myself. Much like your wife, I have a lot of things I do that could also be seen as ocd, but really ocpd fits me perfectly. From what you've written on here about your wife, I can see that I can relate to her quite a lot! 🙂