Told my psychiatrist finally

[Jacqui51]

I heard from my psychiatrist and have finally responded. My email was written over several days and I heavily edited to remove the immaterial.

At the end I decided to tell them about tapering and stopping medication. It seems only fair as they have cared enough to write.

Now I want to cry and wish I had not said anything. I don't like feeling vulnerable and having been open and honest about my thoughts, feelings and actions upsets me.

I do know on an intellectual level that for there to be any hope of a therapeutic relationship when the psychiatrist is back open honesty is essential. On the emotional level I want to cry and run.

I am so unsure just now.

[Jacqui51]

Thank you for your support. If others do have strategies for chronic pain I would like to know what they have found helpful. Currently I am simply trying to accept the pain and minimise use of medication. I have tried hypnosis, meditation, mindfulness and of course medication. It may sound strange but acknowledging the pain and accepting it as part of my life has been one of the most positive.

I did receive an email and will genuinely consider providing contact details. My hesitation is not about the caring of those who could call, it is simply my fear of being able to talk.

I will keep trying to hold on to a small hope the psychiatrist can help once we talk again. From what I have read I am very fortunate in them wanting to meet face to face, the fact they have enabled me to send emails despite their being on leave and more. My lack of hope is not due to them but due to my own experiences and negativity. As shared by others a relationship with a professional is not always easy and can hurt deeply when it goes wrong.

[Jacqui51]

Please believe me when I say you have not caused harm or hurt at all.

[Guest_1643]

Very promising that Ur Dr cares and is willing to see u face to face...shows a lot of promise !

My Dr also sees me face to face and I can't say enough how much that helps.

Accepting my situation helps me a lot too. Have u heard about acceptance commitment therapy ? It has a few parts but one of it is acknowledging and tolerating a situation we don't like, giving roo, to it in a way.

Good luck on Ur journey and hoping things continue to improve for u.

[mmMekitty]

Thank you, Jacqui.

I begin to get a sense of how much you have been through & what you are experiencing now, & how it is not possible to feel any happiness or comfort.

You've tried so many things, I'm not sure what else to suggest.

I'm hoping you can work things out with your Psychiatrist, & that you both see an improvement in the relationship.

I will be happy to see you around these forums.

My best hopes for you,

mmMekitty

[Jacqui51]

Hi, thank you for kind thoughts. I have not heard of acceptance therapy but happy to research it.

Tomorrow will be a quiet day as on top of everything I have had a sick gut all weekend. I plan to rest tomorrow, not go to work and, see a doctor about it. Doubt much can be done except simple plain food and warm drinks but it will ease my partner's mind.

Does anyone know if coming off major medication can upset a stomach even 8 days after last doses??

Jacqui

[therising]

Hi Jacqui

Glad you're going to see your GP about the gut issues. Could be a stomach bug or perhaps something else such as the side effects of coming off medication.

I've heard certain meds can impact the gut microbiome, creating imbalances. They say the gut is home to a variety of different living thriving bacteria. While that sounds pretty horrible, it's good as experts express the need for such a variety of bacteria. If they're in balance everything's great but if some are out of control, sometimes due to certain medications, we can feel the imbalance physically and mentally. By the way, 'Mood and Food' is a fascinating study when it comes to the brain-gut connection.

Strong antibiotics have a rep for throwing the gut microbiome out of balance, which is why some GPs recommend pre and pro biotics along with antibiotics. Maybe as the medication/chemistry gradually leaves your body it's having an impact in this area. Imagining there are certain types of bacteria having a party in there that's getting out of control, perhaps it's about needing something to quieten it down and bring things back into balance. Ramping up the neighbours or neighbouring bacteria might work to help quieten things down. You could question your GP about probiotics perhaps, especially if there are no obvious reasons for why you're experiencing the trouble.

Hope all goes well with your appointment 🙂

[Jacqui51]

Thanks for the information and ideas I will definitely ask about probiotic solutions. In the past probiotics have helped a lot instead of using medication. I suppose as with many things the simplest solutions get overlooked when we struggle.

I have a smile lurking at the description of the war my gut is going through. Thank you for this, a smile is rare and feels good.

[Jacqui51]

Even more depressed. GP was telehealth consult as none available face to face. As soon as I mentioned sick stomach diagnosed as reflux have some medication check back in two weeks. If still sick a blood test.

When I tried to explain symptoms not listened to. Verdict was I must have diarrhoea, if sick in stomach, if eating makes it worse all equals reflux. Stated at least twice no diarrhoea, no reflux as do know if I get this but overridden. Paid and did not bother going to surgery to get a script for something I can buy at Chemist anyway.

I know all professionals are under the pump just now but am reduced to tears, feels as if I am not worth listening to even more than before. How useless am I when a GP doesn't bother to listen to details of symptoms before making up their mind. Best part was being told to stop eating greasy processed food. I hate junk food or over processed food.

My gut has been sick for weeks but I couldn't even explain this. No time to ask about using probiotics or even to check re the ceasing of the medication I had been on.

Welcome to being someone stupid, not worth listening to who must be an overweight junk food eater if she has a sick stomach.

One time I will admit to having been informed I am mensa level therefore supposedly not stupid. I am not overweight and hate junk food. Three strikes. Only correct point is sick stomach.

I can't believe how low this has pushed me. Why am I letting this impact me.

[mmMekitty]

Hi Jacqui

That is certainly disappointing. I'm not surprised you are so upset. I would suggest going to the surgery & asking to speak to the surgery's manager/owner & make an official complaint

Then, I suppose you will be looking for another GP?

Because, you know, I don't think the problem is you. Reading over what you wrote, because a GP did not make a reasonable effort to ask questions, gather information from you before jumping to a conclusion, you have concluded, you are not worth either the time or effort, that you must be useless & worthless.

If a GP has such a low opinion of you, definitely, you deserve another GP, one who will take the time & who is willing to find out a little about you before reaching for a simple & quick diagnosis.

& this is another example to me why telehealth is not so good for physical health care.

Even if you were using face Time or some such, you & GP would likely have only seen each other's haces, so, even the presumption that you are overweight cannot be taken seriously. This GP was so in the wrong!

mmMekitty

[Jacqui51]

Thank you for your support. One issue is I no longer have a regular GP I am confident with. The last one shifted and the Clinic will not advise where she moved to. I have tried tracking her but not been successful.

The current GP whom I also struggle with was booked out. I genuinely wanted to try and sort my gut out and get back to work tomorrow. This is why the telehealth. Never again if I can help it.

On one level I want to complain but on another the clinic will not care. Too often these organisations are about how many patients can be seen and they limit the time a doctor can use. I do not believe they care about their doctors much.

I will try and use some probiotics and eat plain food for a few days. If no better I will try and see a different doctor.

The fragile way I feel and am acting since coming off medication makes me realise how much antidepressants can block emotional hurt. I really don't know if this is good or bad. So many points for both sides.

I am hoping to use work as a distraction. Wish me luck.