Hi inni
You're such a deeply thoughtful person, not wanting to trigger others to feel such overwhelming upset. You obviously hold great compassion, a sign of a beautiful person.
Have you ever considered a group therapy scenario, where the mutually supportive therapy/recovery is strategically structured and carefully led by a facilitator? In such a setting, if someone is triggered they are carefully led out of the trigger, with the support and understanding of the facilitator and the group. How to manage the images that come to mind, how to manage the emotions that set off the nervous system and how to manage a whole lot more could make this a possibly constructive experience shared by those who understand the challenges first hand.
It was some years ago when I experienced the benefits of group therapy. Having spent about 15 years in depression in the lead up to the therapy sessions, I'd reached the point of complete and utter hopelessness. I believed nothing would work to make a difference to me. I'd tried so many different things over the years to lead me out of depression. It was actually post natal depression group therapy on this occasion. I was kind of experiencing a different type of depression within existing depression. A small group of complete strangers meeting felt incredibly uncomfortable at first, until we were led to relate to each other through the challenges of depression and our experiences. Some of those experiences included experiencing people who just couldn't relate to the challenges we were facing.
Of course, if you're not prepared to open up then it's so important to explore a preparation stage. Preparing to open up is what can lead us to successfully manage what comes next. Not preparing can have serious consequences. Do you have a mental health guide/therapist who might be able to address the preparation side of things if you were to eventually consider a group setting at some point? Of course, there's a massive difference between basic depression or even PND and complex post traumatic stress. With cPTSD, the preparation stage in the lead up to a group setting would be quite complex in itself.
The dis-ease (deep unease or serious upset) that can come with incredibly overwhelming challenges can be sickening at times. Be kind to yourself at such a time. You deserve great care and compassion.
