Suicidal thoughts getting stronger again

[inni]

Hello everyone.

I survived attempts. I’ve done recovery programs… I still struggle with the fact that the thoughts stay, sometimes less often, sometimes closer to crisis point. The worst is how I feel about myself, my failed attempts and I don’t see the world, I can’t feel it, I just can’t feel when I get unwell. I try to push the thoughts away and tell myself it’s just thoughts, but I’ve tried that before and ended in icu.

How will this continue? Will it always be that dance? Do people get better after a lifetime of suicidal thoughts? I hate when my life is about staying alive. Surely that’s not enough reason?

[inni]

Hello everyone

my heart is bleeding for everyone currently experiencing flood or war, or anything else, I’m just mentioning what’s in the news and not disregarding anyone else’s experience. I stand with you all.

In the last couple of weeks I’ve had more problems to breathe than in a while. I’ve increased my meds, with my psychiatrists knowledge. I feel horror and sadness for everyone, I’ve experienced war and bushfires. I can’t explain how I feel. I can’t explain what age I feel. I can’t explain how much horror, I can’t find another word, I feel for the people, I’ve seen war and I know there’s no ‘quick fix’. I feel nauseous just thinking about it and I can’t explain the desperation I feel. I feel hopeless.

[Learn to Fly]

Hi inni,

Thank you for your post. You are not alone in your feelings of hopelessness and sadness. I think most of us share them these days as the news coming from overseas as well as Qld and parts of NSW are devastating. It’s very difficult to try to find any silver lining to these sad stories as so many innocent lives are involved. Personally, I draw on the strength and resilience of survivors and fighters. My admiration for them has no limits and I try to help them and support them in any way I can. I know it’s not much but if I can be one of millions helping then this might prove more significant.

[Pandemica]

.y heart also bleeds for the victims of the QLD floods. Though I am not there now, I was there in 2011. It just so horrible and I really feel for my own sister who is spending all of her time cleaning the century rowing club.

Its absolutely heart breaking but at least she still has her home.