Hi Chris
To be upstanding in defense of your mum is courageous. To imagine my own child, my son, doing this for me invokes great emotion in me, in relation to love and the connection we share. Sometimes it's so hard to be upstanding, especially when we have much to lose. With your dad, perhaps there's nothing to lose while being courageous. While highly confrontational, this situation revealed to you a part of your self you may have forgotten about: You are upstanding and outstanding in the face of great challenge.
In mentioning how you've put on weight, it can pay to gain a different interpretation of the circumstances. You could say it wasn't a fault in you that led you to put the weight on, it could have instead involved a lack of energy (to maintain exercise), medication (chemical reasons), a lack of inspiration/motivation from the people around you in a time of need, emotional eating, the effects of depression and so on. So, it goes from fault to reason. To look to reason or look for reasons is what makes us reasonable (able to reason). Easier said than done at times but to focus on becoming more reasonable leads us to answers. On the other hand, to focus on finding faults in our self can lead us to believe, overall, 'I am faulty/broken'. There is a reason behind everything we do or experience, therefor it pays to become more reason-able. You become a detective in a way, always searching for clues.
Being reason-able you could go from saying 'What's wrong with me? Why does my dad not love me? Why do I feel so disconnected from him? How is this my fault?' to being reasonable, finding the reason for feeling the disconnection. The truth could reveal itself as 'My father created the disconnection through his lack of interest in me because it didn't serve him to be interested'. All of a sudden, the reason is revealed as 'My father is self serving and this is not my fault'.
