Struggling to get help

[Doolhof]

I know this is a place where we are supposed to encourage and support each other, to offer suggestions of where help may be received and to try to be positive in our experiences of reaching out for mental health guidance and care.

Unfortunately that has not been my experience for a long time living in the country.

My GP kept telling me he would make an appointment with me to do a mental health care plan. That took about 6 months. At an appointment I basically told him I needed help, could he please do the plan that day and not make me wait another 4 weeks for a next appointment.

The psychologist he recommended sent me an email stating with the information the Dr had written in the referral she was unable to assist me. She had not even met me!

Wait another 4 weeks for another Drs appointment.  A new psychologist was recommended, I had to drive to the city for this one. Had to wait a couple of months for an appointment. My appointment was to be on Thursday this week. Received an email from the psychologist stating "due to changes in his circumstances he is no longer able to offer me sessions".

I go to the local hospital and am told "the Doctors are too busy seeing more important patients to be able to see you".  The Nurse/Sister actually stated that to me over and over.

Looks like me and my sick mind are just going to have to keep trying to support myself until it doesn't work any longer.

[Doolhof]

Another week has passed and my emails to the psychologist requesting another appointment have remained unanswered. Text messages the same. The phone number she has given me is an interstate number and for some reason I can not connect to that with my phone.

Maybe I need to find another psychologist. That will mean waiting up to 4 weeks for another Drs appointment for the referral letter and the changes to be made to the Mental Health Care Plan to accommodate a new psychologist.

Looks like I am just going to have to work on more self care and nut this out myself until I am no longer able to do that.

[therising]

Hi Dools

To say that's incredibly frustrating would be an understatement. I feel so angry for you Dools, given the lack of attention while knowing how much you need their time and attention. I'm wondering whether the emails appear urgent enough to catch their attention. Have you marked them as high importance? For example, with the Outlook email system there's the high importance red exclamation mark on the ribbon at the top of the page. The red exclamation mark will appear on the recipient's email, bringing greater attention to the email. Another idea may also include (all in capital letters in the subject line) 'PLEASE REPLY BEFORE...' including a date which makes it appear as urgent. Was looking for tips on the internet for you and came across those 2. I imagine there's a lot more out there. Asking, in the email, for a contactable phone number, as opposed to he one you were given, might be worth a go too. I wish I could be of more help. Something just popped into my head...Could be completely wrong but is it possible they've given you the fax number as opposed to the phone number and that's why the number's not working?

[Doolhof]

Hi therising,

Thanks for your thoughts. I'm just about over trying to get help. When the effort to receive assistance just makes me feel even more drained, I can't see the point in adding more stress and exhaustion to the equation.

Unfortunately the internet tends to drop out here and we are now having phone connection issues so trying for online or phone counselling will be rather hit and miss as well.

Yes I have checked the phone number is not a fax number. My mobile phone can't call her for some reason but my husband can on his phone. He is over my mental health and has issues of his own right now. 

I could try the suggestions you mentioned if I decide to resend the emails.

I hope other people who require help and assistance have better outcomes!

[therising]

Hi Dools

That's so incredibly unfair, that it's not easier than what it is turning out to be. I wish with all my heart that it was so much easier to the point where it was not only effortless but exciting as well, being able to make contact with someone who could make all the difference.

The following is so far outside the square, to the point where it's questionable, but I thought I'd throw it out there anyway. There's a type of meditation that some say works for them. Personally, I've found it to work for me at times as well. It takes a strong imagination, one that pulls the meditator out of thinking. The idea is to imagine connecting to higher consciousness (which is where the answers are). The greatest challenge in this is to stop thinking and meditate into where things naturally come to mind. This is incredibly hard to do when thinking or overthinking is dominating life 24/7. Btw, someone worth researching when it comes to how to stop thinking is Eckhart Tolle. He is a master at allowing things to naturally come to mind, which explains the long pauses he sometimes has when having been asked questions by people. The pause is the meditation aspect (allowing the answer to naturally come to him).

People will call this form of meditation a variety of things. All depends on which camp we come from, what we choose to imagine:

• Connecting to higher self or connecting to an aspect of self
• Connecting to a part of the brain that has all the answers
• Connecting to The powers that be/The Divine/The Universe or whatever
• Connecting to the imagination

and the list goes on. Doesn't matter what we call it, as long as it's positive and as it works. Whether we receive what naturally comes to mind in the form of words or receive them in the form of images, that also doesn't matter. Words may sound like 'You're on the right/wrong path'. Images may appear as a fork in the road, for example, in the middle of a forest. One path holds no light at all, whereas the other path may have a hint of light coming from it way down the track. Going deeper into meditation may look a little like trying to read what's written on the signpost at the fork, in order to see what each path is all about. Can't see it, imagine a torch shedding light on the answer and having a closer look. I suppose you could say this form of meditation resembles daydreaming in some way or 'going right off with the fairies' as some people call it. Whether we call it daydreaming, meditation, some form of prayer or something else, the gateway or entrance that involves finding the answers outside the square is always the same. We enter through the imagination (which is typically how guided meditation works, with people taking us there). If you have a history of being a daydreamer of sorts, it will be easier to achieve 'zoning out' and into somewhere else, based on years of practice here and there.

At best, it may work on occasion. At the very least, being able to zone out may give you tiny breaks here and there from ongoing stress and torment, relaxing both mind and body.

[Doolhof]

Hi therising,

I will have a look at Google later and see what I can discover.

I'm frustrated with my Dr as well in relation to my mental health. He does not seem interesting in ongoing care even though he knows I was in a bad way late last year and in hospital again due to a breakdown. 

The medical centre has now decided it can no longer bulk bill health care card holders and will be charging a gap fee of $25.00 per consult for a short visit. Yet another deterrent for gaining assistance. I only work 2days a week and have been seeking other employment with no success.

Thank goodness for phone support services!

[Doolhof]

I've sent the psychologist another email. I'm not expecting a reply.

I have tried 3 psychologist this year. I also connected to one through work and had 3 sessions with them over the phone for work issues.

Maybe this is as good as it gets!

Need to work on my own skills and strategies more and not consider I am worthy of assistance or at least to not expect any help. 

Right. Self care it is until that doesn't work any more.

[therising]

Hi Dools

I hope you get some feedback from the psychologist sooner rather than later. My heart goes out to anyone feeling the broken aspects of the mental health care system. I wish the government would pump way more money into it than what they do, so as to increase services and promote greater and faster healing.

'How to care for myself like never before?' can be such a tormenting question. The short answer is 'Well, if I knew how to do it I wouldn't be feeling this way. I would have already done it'. The long answer or answers can take so much time, trial, error and eventual success. I wish there was some panacea, some 'fits all' solution. Maybe there is some basic thing that applies to all challenges, some foundation to build upon. I think, in some ways, it may involve the basic question, to begin with, 'Who am I and how do I work?'.

While the other day a particular show led me to see things from a different perspective, as that perspective unfolded I began to wonder. If I imagine myself as some soulful thing in a body with a processor (of information) up there in my head, how do I lead this body to function in the ways I really need it to and how do I work this processor in a way that doesn't lead me to suffer so much at times? What kinds of energy are needed for me to work this body so that energy and motivation are actually felt and used? How can I come to better manage pain and emotion felt through this body I have? What mental programs need deleting from that computer or processor up there in my head, this thing that's capable of recalling every painful memory? How did all  my mental programs come to be installed (by others) in the first place, over the years, beginning from day one? What mental programs/skills need to be developed or installed?

Three things I've learned over time: 1) I am not who I think I am, who I've been led to believe I am. Some seriously depressing 'programs' have gotta go so I can discover who I really am. Easier said than done, for sure. 2) My body is capable of far more than what I imagine or have been led to believe (with it having the ability to heal itself in so many unbelievable ways). 3) I have no instruction manual, so I shall learn as I go, with the help of those who hold some instruction.

While it's easy to say 'I don't know how I work but I am prepared to learn', it's so hard to feel that in enthusiastic ways when a sense of hopelessness is accompanied by complete an utter exhaustion. The kinds of people who can fast track us toward greater self understanding can be in short supply.

[Doolhof]

Hi therising,

Right now I just don't have the energy to pursue this. I am exhausted, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I'm so tired I feel like I need to sleep for a week.

I don't sleep well so always get up feeling like I haven't even been to bed. I was recently diagnosed with long Covid and Chronic fatigue so that is just adding to my lack of energy and enthusiasm.

I congratulate myself for keeping the house tidy, having meals prepared, showering, working a couple of days a week and trying to keep up with a couple of social occasions so I don't retreat completely.  Most days I go for a walk even if it is for a shirt period of time. There are lots of things I can do for myself.

Part of me wants to and needs to untangle the mass of thoughts, emotions and feelings that are scrambled, causing deep hurt and pain, I don't know how to unravel them myself hence the desire to receive help to understand and disarm the intensity.

It is difficult to make advancements when resilience and energy are low.

[therising]

Hi Dools

Completely 100% understandable, not having the energy to achieve more than just the basics. While I struggle some days through my own lack of self discipline or my own fault (not having worn my SA oral appliance to bed religiously, for mild sleep apnea), I have no idea how my sister managed to work through what was eventually diagnosed as severe sleep apnea. Before the diagnosis, she resigned from her job, as she could no longer function due to overwhelming and chronic debilitating fatigue. It speaks volumes, when it comes to those who still manage to function even basically throughout the day, when their mind and body are just so incredibly fatigued, so unbelievably run down. The feeling can be indescribable.

With such levels of fatigue, there's almost a full reliance on everyone around the person who's suffering so intensely, suffering in so many ways. A circle of specialists may look like someone who works with managing to relax and recharge the immune system, someone who works with and helps manage inner dialogue/thoughts/beliefs, one who is there to simply vent to, one who is able to carefully and gently bring some sense of joy to life in even the slightest and most gradual of ways (building joy up over time until it can be felt on a daily basis), someone to help identify and master emotion/s, someone who can exercise the body in the easiest of ways under the circumstances (so as to generate some subtle energy to start with), a dietician with the perfect recipes for creating some chemical energy (throw in a cook/chef as well) and the list goes on. It can take an entire team of specialists to completely reform a person sometimes. When you think about what you're trying to achieve without them all, the overwhelming struggle makes complete sense.

While GPs have training in identifying so many different types of conditions, from a holistic standpoint I'm not sure whether they're trained to recognise when a circle of reliable specialists needs to set up and put into place at times. Of course, there can be plenty of unreliable specialists out there. There can just be so much going on at once. No one should be left to struggle alone through such unbearable conditions that require full support.

[Doolhof]

Hi therising and all reading,

The psychologist sent me a text Monday morning stating she had a cancellation that afternoon. Thankfully I was not working and could change my plans so accepted the appointment.

It seems she is dealing with my depression and extreme negative thoughts in a way that I am going to have to adjust to and accept as being beneficial. I told her I am after strategies and suggestions on how to control the overwhelming feeling that has part of mind desiring to no longer be here.

She is now using the eye movement technique to help diffuse recent events that have been triggers.

I'm trying to put this puzzle together to work out how it is beneficial.

I had planned to go for a long walk in a conservation park after, but I had a call stating I needed to pick our deceased cat up from the vet.

Hopefully I can find a quiet place later today to sort out  my thoughts.