Sick and tired of being sick

Bbydoll · ‎23-06-2020

Hello. I'm battling multiple auto immune diseases along with chronic pain. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired; physically, mentally, emotionally and financially etc. I've got no partner, kids or family around. And very few real friends that actually bother to check in on me. My shrink retired earlier in the year. I'm on medication but lately my health has once again deteriorated. Including over $2500 worth of urgent dental work with more needed afterwards.

I can't take much more of this. I spoke with a close friend the other day; who I haven't seen for 8 months and although he was kind enough to let me pour my heart out. He couldn't help me. And has other priorities. I feel as though everyone thinks I'm ok.. because I've been through so much that I'll get through this.

I just want it to end. I'm tired of struggling. Every. Single. Day.

I don't want to live like this anymore.

uncut_gems · ‎16-11-2020

Hi Bbydoll,

I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling with food insecurity. No one ever should go hungry and food should be guaranteed universal right. Have you thought about seeking out a food bank near you (www.foodbank.org.au/) to tide you over? This sounds like a very serious and distressing situation and as you get hungrier and hungrier all your other problems will seem more difficult to tackle and solve. First thing's first, let's get you fed properly. 1 day of food insecurity is too much, let alone 10.

Best,

Gems

Bbydoll · ‎16-11-2020

Hi Gems;

Thanks for the respone. Unfortunately I'm in a rural area and not near any of those. There are a couple of local food pantries; but you need to have a car and a driver's license - I have neither. So I am going to do a lot of sleeping and waiting it out... I'm fat; so it's not like I'm going to starve to death or anything like that. 😩

My extended family members are causing issues. And the idiot in the apartment building is also blaring his music. So not a great day. It's stinking hot outside and I'm not going out because the heat bothers me. I've been wrapped up in my warm bed with the exception of bringing in 2 loads of washing and getting a parcel delivered this morning (more weight loss shakes!).

Bbydoll · ‎20-11-2020

I called and texted my friend again yesterday about helping me change a lightbulb as its been over a month since I initially asked him and still no word from. I left a voice mail for him as he didn't answer and I also said that I was worried about him. Which I genuinely am. But still nothing. Even if he says he can't do it - it's better than complete silence and not being heard. And yes I've told him this numerous times. We are very close and last time he was over.. he we chatted for 3 hours straight!! And he promised that he wouldn't leave it so long in future as it had been man

Bbydoll · ‎27-11-2020

So yesterday I had to pay a third of my pay to my phone bill because the company I'm with is ripping me off and actually cut off my outgoing internet and phone calls and texts and if I didn't pay up the incoming would then be cut off. They cut it off a day early!!! I then spent $100 and chemist warehouse getting meds and specialized toothpaste and other things that I needed for my health and was left with $100 to buy food... after overdue funds were taken out by funding lenders and I suspect extra was paid off those too. I've tried to get healthy food but it's so expensive at woolies. And $50 a week doesn't get much at all. I've got some salad stuff andthe rest is 2 minute noodles. I've got my shakes still but can only do 2 of these a day. I still need to get more milk for those. I almost passed out several times coming home with my shopping yesterday -even though it was starting to cool down. I actually had to sit down several times to prevent it from happening. I must have looked like crap too because my neighbor in a wheelchair, offered me help carrying my shopping home. I was close to tears because I felt so helples. But I told him I was fine. And waited a bit longer to walk the rest of the way home. I'm so sick of struggling. .. and having no support or anything. I'm barely surviving and there's really no way out of this downward spiral.

Bbydoll · ‎27-11-2020

I'm still having issues with feeling like I'm going to faint. And went and saw my GP as I'd also been getting chest pains. Had bloods done as well to see if I'm anaemic again.. as I've struggled with that on and off since I was 16. I'm going to bed. I'm sore and tired. And have also managed to do 2 loads of washing. One of which is already dryed and inside. It's supposed to hot tomorrow and I don't do well with the heat especially the humidity.

Bbydoll · ‎01-12-2020

Sick of struggling. My only friend that is talking to me doesn't believe what I'm telling her and still goes on about her almost boyfriend who is currently not responding to how SHE wants. My other friend isn't responding to any of my messages either by phone, text or messenger and I still haven't gotten a replacement bulb up in the bathroom. I've previously asked the rental company about replacing it and they said that I could pay someone to replace it unless there's something wrong with the wiring and I need an electrician. I told the first friend and she doesn't seem to believe me. It doesn't help the situation and doesn't solve the problem! I can barely afford food on my table and my first friend is earning a 3 figure income that she threw in my face - so I can't exactly afford to pay for someone to change a lightbulb

monkey_magic · ‎01-12-2020

Hi Bbydoll,

I know what it's like to be let down by people which is why I've become so self reliant these days.

I would YouTube how to replace a lightbulb and do it myself. It's pretty simple to change and then U don't have to rely on anyone else to do it.

As for this 3 figure income friend, does she know you're struggling with food. Has she ever offered to buy you some groceries? A good friend in my opinion would give a little.

Perhaps you need to find some new friends, easier said than done I know.

I'd forget about the one not responding to any communication. Good riddance.

I'm trying to think of a way you could make a bit of extra income for example working on a computer a couple hrs a day from home for a company, if u have access to a computer of course, or folding pamphlets, looking after someone's pet, refurbishing an old item, creating and selling art...have a think about it, they're might be something you can do for a bit of cash despite your health conditions.

Much love,
Monkey
🐒

Bbydoll · ‎02-12-2020

Hi Monkey,

Thanks for the reply. It's not that simple unfortunately. I have high ceilings and no way to access them. I don't have a ladder and I don't know anyone else that does except for my friend that's not responding.

I only have limited internet access on my phone. So that also limits things. I'm still behind in my phone payments and being screwed over by my phone company and now I just got another warning about my phone bill and literally have no money for the next 8 days!! Unless the extra government money magically appears beforehand.

Yes. My other friend knows about my lack of money as I've been open with her about it. She did buy me lunch but nothing else. I know she's buying her new boyfriend Christmas presents and his son.. but I don't expect anything from her. It would be nice if she even gave me a gift voucher for woolies or coles or something. But I doubt she's even thought of it. It was her birthday last month and I spent $25 on her with a brand new tshirt and a silk bag made from a sari in her favourite colour. I told her it was going to be a Christmas present but I couldn't wait that long to give it to her. I was hoping to do a big grocery shop next pay. But again half my money is going to bills and I still have a very over due electricity bill to be paid. It's exhausting on every single level to be constantly struggling. I sleep during the day and barely sleep at night. I'm almost completely out of fresh veggies and eggs. It will be weightloss shakes with milk. And 2 minute noodles. Frozen homemade soup with veggies. Or instant porridge for the next week. My cupboards are pretty much bare apart from that.

monkey_magic · ‎02-12-2020

Hi Bbydoll,

Yeh a ladder def helps to change a lightbulb.

I remember a time when I struggled financially like you are and it wasn't much fun. I did however become pretty resourceful.

I used to pick other ppls fruit on my walks, and I know this probably sounds disgusting but I'd find fresh leftovers ppl placed in the bin for eg a few pizza slices still in the box, 1/3 bag unpeeled prawns still in the pack.
And yep I ate it lol.
I'm not suggesting U do as I did but I do feel where you're coming from.

The government money should be coming soon. My mum's been payed today, other friend hasn't.

Maybe you could ask your well off friend if she could help U out by buying you some groceries. It's hard to ask ppl but I don't think you're asking for much.

The only way I was able to get off struggle street was to get back into the workforce.
Are there any small jobs you could do to make a bit of extra cash?

And how about fishing? Are you able to one day invest in a rod and catch your own meals?

Just a suggestion.

Bbydoll · ‎02-12-2020

Hi Monkey,

Yeah. The high ceilings don't help that's for sure and I just tried calling my friend who should have finished work by now but it went to voice mail. He's fixed the light bulb before so, knows the ceiling height and lack of help etc That I face. I just left a message saying that I hope he's ok. And to call me.

I can understand your previous desperation to the food thing. But I'm immunosuppressed so I think I'll have to leave dumpster diving. I went to the reject shop today for some liquid laundry soap and found that they have pasta for 50cents. So I pickedup a packet. I get several meals out of a packet and it's better than the 2 minute noodles as less fat and less salt!

I'm going to contact my ex shrink and ask her if she can take me drive to the shopping centre next pay. And I'll give Aldi a go. It's been ages since I was there and once I've done a hopefully bigger shop... I won't have such a strain on my supply of food. Plus if it's cheaper than woolies.. I'll try and get there on my own and maybe a taxi home. I find woolies so expensive and for some reason every time I try and put an order in online it crashes. I can load up the order but then when it asks me to log in to complete the order it crashes.

I haven't been fishing for years! Not sure if there's any good spots locally... I'll have to try and do my homework 😂

No idea about small jobs. I'm not qualified for anything. I did some data entry a few years ago for a family friend. And worked abit in my teens as a checkout chick. But my health has always gotten in the way of completing any courses or doing any work. If I could physically do things; I'd do anything to get some money together!!