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Sick and tired of being sick

Community Member

Hello. I'm battling multiple auto immune diseases along with chronic pain. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired; physically, mentally, emotionally and financially etc. I've got no partner, kids or family around. And very few real friends that actually bother to check in on me. My shrink retired earlier in the year. I'm on medication but lately my health has once again deteriorated. Including over $2500 worth of urgent dental work with more needed afterwards.

I can't take much more of this. I spoke with a close friend the other day; who I haven't seen for 8 months and although he was kind enough to let me pour my heart out. He couldn't help me. And has other priorities. I feel as though everyone thinks I'm ok.. because I've been through so much that I'll get through this.

I just want it to end. I'm tired of struggling. Every. Single. Day.

I don't want to live like this anymore.

207 Replies 207

Community Member

Hi Bbydoll.

Same. Totally relate to your story. I'm sick of being sick. Live alone. I don't tell ANYONE how sick I am, don't want anyone worrying bout me. They have their own stuffand lives to lead.

My quality of life is so poor that I can't do anything. I literally spend 22-23 hours in bed. Every day!! That is NOT a life worth living.

I only go out for food shopping once a week. Not contemplating suicide, but am SO depressed. Don't know what to do. Am too ashamed and scared to phone any helpline.

Not coping at all. Hoping tomorrow will be better than past few weeks

Hi grandmababa,

Wishing you a warm welcome to the forums. It takes a lot of courage to be so open and honest with your feelings, and we are so glad that you have reached out here tonight on Bbydoll's thread. It sounds like it must be so tough feeling lonely, but we hope being part of this community can bring you some comfort and help you to feel a little less alone.

We'd also really encourage you to reach out to our Beyond Blue Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals. You are also always welcome to get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) to talk through these feelings.

We know that it can feel a bit frightening to reach out, but please know that these supports are here for people just like you who are wanting some extra support. You don't have to go through this on your own, help is always here for you.

Community Member

Just wanted to drop by & see how you are going Bbydoll?

I see things have been pretty tough for you right now but I hope your standing tall & still fighting.

welcome also to grandmababa. I just wanted to say if your not comfortable th calling someone for support, have you tried the online chat services? Beyond Blue have one, as does Lifeline & Suicide Call Back Centre. Lifeline even have a text message service but it only operates of an evening until midnight.

i too was very fearful of reaching out the first time, but the few times I have actually called up in my moments of despair I have found it helpful.

while they don’t always have a solution to the problems, they can recommend other services you can try. But sometimes it’s just as simple as having someone to talk with to that helps the most.

Hope things improve for the both of you

Thanks for checking in TheBigBlue, I really appreciate it. I'm up and down emotionally at the moment and no one else is any wiser. I was chatting with a friend who also suffers from depression but she just dominates the conversation and I wind up giving her advice on things she's already following through on.

I've used the lifeline chat/text and it was good. Unfortunately my phone is currently freezing - so am limiting my usage in the hopes it will fix itself.

I know that I should be happy that I have a relative who has offered to pay about half of the $2500 on my teeth... but I still see the struggles with getting the rest of the money together. And moving forward with my life; when I'm feeling so terribly stuck.

Grandmababa, I am so sorry that you're struggling so much. It's hard when those around you have no idea how difficult things are. I understand how frustrating it is. Have you tried journaling how you're feeling? You can also get some counseling through a mental health plan with your GP. For free under medicare - they might even be able to do it online; so you don't have to leave home.

Community Member
Feeling ill. I went back to binge eating; which I haven't done in a long time. Frustrated with life. Hating myself. Hating life. I wish I believed that life was going to get better. But honestly I don't.

Hi Bbydoll,

Thank you for being part of our forums, sorry to hear you are going through a tough time right now. It takes a lot of courage and strength to reach out for support and we are so glad that you have done so. Just a reminder if you ever want further support you can reach out to Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline 13 11 14.

Community Member

I spent all day sleeping. Finally getting to sleep after 7am. Once again feeling pretty miserable with the state of my life. Over eating tonight and not helping that I'm constantly so cold. Will probably go to to bed. Because there's no point to anything right now.

Community Member
Last night I got to bed about 1am. Slept through until about 330pm. Have stuffed myself. Will be going back to bed. Because what's the point in anything.

Community Member

Hey Bbydoll,

im sorry things have been so awful for you.

But don’t feel guilty about needing to sleep, or not wanting to do anything but sleep. You just do what you need to do to get through the hard times. But it won’t always be this way even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

stuff everything else, just do something nice for yourself. Whether that be a bath, buying a coffee, watching a favourite movie or show. Just spend a little time on yourself.


Thanks Big Blue I appreciate the sentiments, I really do! I can't afford any special extras in my life right now. Because money is so tight. The only bad side about sleeping is that I'm putting on more weight and not getting anything done. As mentioned before I have no extra support or partner/kids/ family around. I also don't speak to most of my family because I had a fall out with most of them a couple of years ago. I'm losing the will to do anything right now. It seems just pointless when I'm constantly struggling and not achieving anything.