Hi,
I feel very alone and I feel nobody wants to hear me. I try to talk to my
parents as much as I can about everything stupid to important, but they don’t understand or respect my opinion. They always taunt me and they are never satisfied with whatever I do. I can't talk to them about how I feel. They would never show me their affection, they
never hug me, or give me a proper response for my special moments or properly
spend time with me. They avoid me. I don't have a strong relationship with anyone.
I
know I am very overweight and extremely ugly, I have to put up with it myself
every day of my life. I hate the way I walk, talk and I am dumb in
everything I do. So many times I have known the answer or have an idea, but I
cannot say it out loud in class. I am fine with sharing things with my friends
and sometimes other students in my class, but even with them I feel ignored and
alone, as I cannot keep up with things going on in their lives, they all have
social media and I don’t and they go all travelling and I have never been out the house except to go to school. Or they simply don’t want to
talk to me because of my ugly looks and lack of popularity. There are students in my class who everyone respects because they are good-looking not caring how rude they can be, everyone tells me being beautiful in the inside is more important, but no one cares about being kind. I feel so out of place.
I
try my hardest to look skinny, I wear clothes that I think will help me do
that, I try to keep my things clean and tidy and I try to be nice as much as I
can. Nothing works, I always feel the same; alone and stupid. I don’t want any
of my friends and family to know about how I feel. But with my parents, my younger brother and my friends ignoring me and
making me feel alone, make me think about suicide and I can't sleep during the night or wake up early in the morning.
I don’t
feel loved, happy or accepted in the people I am surrounded with.
I
feel weak, alone, misunderstood, ugly, sad, confused and a burden on everyone.
I feel confused as I got no idea where I want to work. I feel stupid and sad because my grandma has breast cancer and I
haven’t seen her, all I have done is make her miserable, I want to talk to her
which I can’t do it through a phone call, because at that moment I don’t want
to say and I don't know if she wants to talk to me.
Maybe
I am overreacting because so many other people go through worse things
than me, but this is how I feel
