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Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi lovely people

I just wanted to start this thread as "self harm" seems to be an increasing topic that I have noticed lately.

Firstly there is some wonderful information at this link:


Some of the discussion I have been involved in I am hearing that the "techniques" that are suggested to people to do or use instead of hurting themselves is "silly", "don't work", "well if it was that easy I wouldn't be here". So I want to reach out to anyone and everyone to perhaps put down three or four or as many as you feel comfortable to, tips that DO WORK for you.

I have suggested smashing plates, in a controlled space of course and not your mum's best plates either! Do you think this would work?

I think knowledge is power and the more we share knowledge we can use it to help others and to make a difference, a real difference in someone else's healing.

I also understand this is a sensitive topic but if you feel comfortable to share what works for you or what you need in that time that stops you from hurting yourself that would be so helpful.

Please be mindful this is a sensitive topic so just dot point the things you do instead of hurting yourself.

Huge hugs to you all.

Sarah xxx

89 Replies 89

Hi Sarah,

I find it interesting to learn that some people are posting their anxiety attacks while trying to dance through it on Tik Tok.

So many times we have people writing on this forum they had no idea other people felt the way they did. Being able to see another person experience an anxiety/panic attack and get through it can be amazingly beneficial.

About a month ago I had an incredibly visible, vigorous, full on panic attack while talking to a person trying to assist me. I just about busted walls and doors trying to get out of the office.

The amazing thing for me was the person telling me my panic attack was normal. That my body was just behaving as it had learnt to do over my whole life.

In making it a normal reaction she helped me to lessen the fear of doing the same thing another day. It helped me recognise I could find a way to control my thoughts, emotions and actions now I had a better understanding of what was happening.

Good on the people who are willing to show themselves at their most vulnerable and maybe their most powerful as well working through an anxiety attack!

Regards to all from Dools

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni


Just wanted to come and see how everyone was doing, also that I have been having some conversations with some of my friends and this lead to conversations around self harming, the why's and the how's...while I am not an expert it is very interesting to talk to other people who actually have never been effected by ill mental health or had to think about it, let alone things like suicide or the concept of harming one's self to feel release, or even to feel.

I sometimes forget that there are actually people who are so very fortunate enough in life to not have been effected by ill mental health or have someone in their life who has.

So in saying that, does anyone have any new tips, knew ways to support those who are harming? As always, the support from this community is how I help others, with lived experiences we can add value to others as well as grow acceptance for ourselves.

Hugs and stay safe my friends

Sarah xx

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

As we are into another week of managing our time with Covid-19, managing being at home and also trying to manage striving for wellness and staying safe, I wanted to check in and see if anyone has any new tips that they have updated on their BeyondNow app, or if the "Virtual Hope Box" is something that helps you?

We are in very strange and surreal times and I too am struggling with what used to work for me when I need support V's what I have been doing now. I have really been leaning on the strength of some of my mentors, I have been painting and these are things I have not typically done...ever..so it is new for me. Are there some new things you have found to help with your time of needing some extra support?

Hugs to you all


Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello again Sarah, fancy meeting you here!

I am thankful that suicidal thoughts are a thing of the past for me atm..... I hope they stay there too.

What helped me most:
1. Drinking cold water.... this means completely avoiding alcohol, coffee, coke.

2. Eating strong peppermint lollies... yeah seems strange but it really helped.

3. Patting a pet.... feeding and cuddling my pet.

4. Going to sleep... I noticed that suicidal thoughts mostly occurred late at night. The daylight can be somewhat brighter. Putting on warm cuddly PJs is nice too.



Part of yesterday was not so good. I helped myself by

- laying under a tree for a while and tried to listen tot he birds and the wind in the leaves

- I ate the lunch my husband prepared for me instead of staying in bed crying

- I managed to join my sister for a walk

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi everyone

I've read a bit about self-harming and had friends who had - saying that it's in efforts to feel some thing.

Does anyone think that the feeling / bodily reaction to SH then becomes what people mean by feeling some thing?

Maybe a more precise way of saying this (altering our language and thereby planning to alter behaviour).... is to say to feel some thing deeply.

If we can divide feelings into creative and destructive then would it be fair to think that then a person who SHs is attached / addicted to the destructive?

Maybe the creative / destructive angle could be on a continuum.

With SH maybe the attachment or addiction to it could be moved along this 'continuum' - incorporating more creative or healthy pursuits into a person's life? In efforts to REPLACE the behaviours.

There's plenty of evidence to show that eradicating specific behaviours can only be maintained, sustained and completely eradicated by replacement behaviours.
That's why we see MH professionals after all in it's highest aim - to change our minds. Replace what we were thinking with new neural pathways of what we WANT to be thinking.

Feeling the adrenaline of FUN things like riding a bike fast along a path. Swimming laps fast. Taking your dog for a long walk and throwing the ball to him. Whatever flicks your switches. I do heavy gardening and building. Activities that we can feel deeply.
This may be a key to some people moving away from SH.


Love and healing Prayers always

Hey Ecomama

Thank you for your post and for some really great things that have given me some things to think about. I think that you are really on to something there with adrenaline and being able to feel and to get the most out of other emotions to combat things like wanting to hurt yourself, it really makes sense to me and I would be really interested to hear what others think too.

I have a friend who goes to anger management therapy and she get plates from the op shop and has a space that is safe and easy to contain and smashes the plates with all her might to use as a release to get the anger out, I often think of this also as a way to combat some of those feelings of release.

Thank you for your post.


Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

A very important and (informative!) thread guys, glad I happened upon it.

Some great advice I've heard from others who deal with self-harm:

1. This one may be particularly helpful for young people; sending Snapchat streaks (with mates who will participate in them with you) and customizing (recustomising) your Bitmoji avatar if you have one (weirdly entertaining and distracting, I hear).

2. Browsing a random shopping category on Amazon using all sorts of filters (and maybe making a weird and wonderful purchase?)

3. Creating the most aesthetic playlist you can on Spotify. Pick an uplifting mood or music genre and gooooo

4. Doing a short Fitness Marshal Dance Fitness Musical Video to get the blood pumping- his channel provides great positive distraction

Keep up the great response guys, they are very considerate, stigma-busting, helpful, create a great sense of solidarity and help remind folks they aren't alone.


Hi Tay100

Thank you so much for your suggestions, I think that they are really relevant in today's world of apps and people spending time on phones and technology, so why should they not play a role in healing if they can.

My daughter does streaks on Snapchat yet I had not drawn the line with it actually being a form of distraction and to actually use this when you are feeling like you need a release, what a great idea.

Also the researching on the internet, I think alasydar also mentioned doing this and that it can really provide hours of distraction when you research something so intensely that you are interested in or wanting to learn about, even another language.

Thanks so very much Tay100 for adding to the thread, your tips are really valuable.



Hi Aaronsis,

Great to see you around the forums!

Yep, using technology in a positive way is key to good mental health. Healthy breaks from screens are good too of course.

Keep posting great content too everyone!