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Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi lovely people

I just wanted to start this thread as "self harm" seems to be an increasing topic that I have noticed lately.

Firstly there is some wonderful information at this link:


Some of the discussion I have been involved in I am hearing that the "techniques" that are suggested to people to do or use instead of hurting themselves is "silly", "don't work", "well if it was that easy I wouldn't be here". So I want to reach out to anyone and everyone to perhaps put down three or four or as many as you feel comfortable to, tips that DO WORK for you.

I have suggested smashing plates, in a controlled space of course and not your mum's best plates either! Do you think this would work?

I think knowledge is power and the more we share knowledge we can use it to help others and to make a difference, a real difference in someone else's healing.

I also understand this is a sensitive topic but if you feel comfortable to share what works for you or what you need in that time that stops you from hurting yourself that would be so helpful.

Please be mindful this is a sensitive topic so just dot point the things you do instead of hurting yourself.

Huge hugs to you all.

Sarah xxx

89 Replies 89

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Sarah,

Thanks for a sensitive look at what can be a very confusing time for people.

One of my issues when I don't understand what is going on in my mind is that the emotional pain becomes too much and I get angry. Instead of harming I have been able to reduce this by:

Vigorous activity like gardening, going for a fast walk, vacuuming with gusto!

If I can't get outside I may write out all I am experiencing, draw a picture, rip up paper, scream into a pillow.

Later I try to work out why I was so triggered so next time I don't escalate so quickly.

Cheers to you and all from Dools

Community Member

Hi Sarah, thank you for this thread, what a nice idea. You're right, I've been seeing a lot of posts about self harming and it breaks my heart, that and the fact that I'm really thinking of doing it myself too lately although I haven't and never have but it's quite hard for me to fight the urges.

Like Doolhof, I like walking, colouring in, going on the forums and colouring in. Not much I know but it's something I suppose.

My Psychiatrist suggested, which most people probably know and have tried, is to get a rubber band on your wrist and GENTLY snap it, or clap. You can also draw a butterfly or multiple butterflies where you want to harm yourself and the aim is to not hurt the butterfly, and of course yourself. Or you can put ice on you.

Take care everyone, please don't hurt yourself. I'm sorry you're all struggling. I'm always here for everyone.


Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hi Sarah thanks for the great new post.I know all about self harm i have done it my self and have known others that have.

I'm so sorry to hear that Mark, how are you doing now?


Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Tayla thank you for caring.I am not real good at the moment.I havent told anyone on this site but i have step twins who are 25 that were my ex wifes that i loved like my own.One of my step twins has left me out of everything like not inviting me to her wedding and graduation and every bog occasion in her life.It has made me feel like total crap and i have told her how i just told her how i really feel and now i feel like crap as she is pregnant but i know i will be left out of my grandsons life.I shouldnt have said anything to her as she is pregnant and she is due on the 3rd May.

Hi Mark. Wow I'm so sorry to hear that, that's awful. I'm always here as you know.

That's terrible, makes me sad and sympathetic for you. Some "people" are so toxic, huh?


Thank you so much for your comments, it is really great to understand and to be able to share.

Thank you Dools: They are some really great tips and I think the ripping up paper would let off the same steam that the plate smashing would..do you think?

Great suggestions Tayla and thank you for sharing too, it is so great to hear that you have been able to keep the urges to harm at bay and I am hoping that some of the things we can raise here will be useful to people and maybe even to you, although I pray you dont need them x

I am grateful for your support Mark and I am so very sorry things are tough for you at the moment. Can you think of some of the things that you did to help you when you did feel so very low and like you needed to hurt yourself? Please only answer if you feel comfortable to.

I feel so privileged to be able to share such personal information with you all and it is for the greater good to be able to actually support others with some "distractions" that have not necessarily been suggested to them before.

Thank you xxxx

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hi Tayla thank you fot caring.I havent heard back from my step daughter after i told her how i really feel about being left out of everything.We were so close and she use to tell me everything including her first sexual experince when she was 13 but i wasnt good enough to be invited to her wedding and things.It really hurts me.

Community Member
Hi Sarah and everyone,

Thank you for this post as so far I haven't been very good at stopping myself so will try some of the ideas mentioned.

The main thing that has worked for me is sleep. When I've been at that point it's usually night time and I'm usually mentally and physically exhausted. I just have to tell myself if I can fall asleep then it will be a new day. Doesn't always work but worth a try.

Take care everyone x