Emotionally, spiritually and physically tired

[Supermum]

Hello all, the last 2 and a half years have been exhausting and I feel like I am just living in an empty universe. I don’t want to talk to my family, my psychologist or anyone . I just want to be quiet and alone. Sometimes life is bearable and I love my children and feel more committed to living but other times I just want it to stop. For the silence and peace to begin. Would it be so awful for those around me to no longer have me in their lives as my constant up and down with sadness must be as tiring for them as it is for me. Things that used to help me focus and be grateful for small things don’t seem to snap me back into place and I just don’t want to do this anymore pure and simple.

[Guest_4643]

Hi Supermum, I'm sorry you're struggling and drinking a lot. I have found some resources for you to look at and perhaps contact, if you wish. I would recommend it, if you're up to it. I don't drink, take drugs, etc. but they could be helpful to you, who knows. Just copy and paste them and they should work. There's numbers to call also provided on the websites.

• https://www.counsellingonline.org.au/
• https://adf.org.au/help-support/ (this website also lets you see if there's anything local to you).
• https://drinkwise.org.au/drinking-and-you/support-services/#
• https://www.health.gov.au/health-topics/alcohol/alcohol-contacts

I would also recommend seeing a GP, Psychologist and/or Psychiatrist to discuss these issues. Please know that I am only trying to be friendly and help, as I care. I hope things get better for you.

[Supermum]

I have a problem with drinking alcohol to numb my emotions and thoughts , to cope and I cannot manage it anymore . I get withdrawals when I’m working as I don’t drink when working or driving . It’s so overwhelming . I hate it .

[Guest_4643]

Please reach out and look at those websites I provided for you Supermum.

Also please discuss your feelings with a professional, they can better assist you than we can here, or call 000 if it's an emergency.

This doesn't mean that we don't care, we do, but the helplines and professionals would be able to offer more help.

[smallwolf]

Hi.

Recognising and admitting a problem is a big step in moving forward. You have recognised it does not resolves our challenges in life. Nor does it mean you are weak or incapable. I am sure you know that you can find stories from other users on the forums with stories similar similar to your, at least as the drinking is concerned.

Not sure what sort of relationship you have with your psychiatrist - whether you do talk therapy or is just for the medication. While I talk about some things with mine, she leaves most o the talk therapy to my psychologist. What you decide to do moving forward is up to you and know that the other users will continue to support you on this journey.

Tim

[Supermum]

Hi

I’ve just changed Psychistrists. My old one was wonderful and we talked a lot . My new one I’m just getting to know plus my psychologist cancelled as you know so im feeling a little disconnected at the moment which isn’t helping .

I have spoken to him about drinking though and we are going to talk more when I see him in a couple of weeks .

I just wish I didn’t go down this same path every time . Stressors .... chaotic head... drinking which then leads to self hatred self loathing and then self harm . So if I stopped drinking it would help I’m sure but I am just not there yet I guess .

[smallwolf]

My psychologist has had to cancel appointments for "reasons" and that really sucks as I would get excited to go and on the day get that dreaded message.

And that you have started this conversation is good. It may sound bad when you speak with them (I dont know) but equally they would likely have heard it before from other clients and similarly, it shows strength and courage.

On going down the same path. A story I keep in my head...

A windy track is what the sheep uses to get to the other side of the paddock and out the gate. One day the sheep tried a faster route -more direct. Problem was the sheep had to create this route which was
overgrown, long grass, rocky, fallen branches. It didn't work. Feeling beaten, the sheep went back to the old path. The next day tried the new route again.The same problem occurred. Again went back to the old path.This pattern repeated but over time the new path became more defined and the old path was getting overgrown and started using newer path more often. Until one day... the new path became the normal was of getting to the gate and not the old path.

One day at a time?

Tim

[Supermum]

Hi , sorry I’ve been a hermit . Just sometimes human interaction even over a forum is too much .

I hope that one day I shall be that sheep ! One day ..

Today I’m not a sheep . My head is busy , my chest hurts as it does when I’m stressed .

I hope your ok .

lianne

[quirkywords]

Hi

greetings. super mum, . I liked that story Tim . Super mum like you I want to be that sheep one day but I suppose I get used to the same path even if it is no longer efficient. I suppose unlike the sheep I give up after one or two tries but I will think of the sheep in future.

Do you find writing out your thoughts here helps in some ways. .? I often learn from Tim’s suggestions but I know it is hard trying again.

Is your head full of tangled thoughts like clothes in a washing ma hind or busy as you have a lot to do. .?
quirky

[smallwolf]

that's the thing about the sheep in the paddock... it is ok to flip-flop between the path ways - one you are so used to and smooth and the new path is still bumpy.

when you are so used to travelling down the one path you will revert to that out of habit.

and over time the new(er) path will become easier.

my psychologist said it is about training our brain to use use different neural pathways. that's about the extent of my knowledge as far as the brain goes.

you don't have to apologise for not posting often. I hope today was easier for you.

Peace to you, Tim

[Supermum]

Hi , I love Tims stories they help too.

my head is like washing machine of thoughts . Overwhelming at times .

lianne