Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Pinned discussions

Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 96

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

BeaB Don’t think I can put in another day.
  • replies: 2

I don’t even know where to begin. Not one crisis line is picking up and I needed to talk to someone. Everything about me is bad, and broken and wrong. I have been told countless times by every ‘acquaintance’ I have ever had, that I am vile and worthl... View more

I don’t even know where to begin. Not one crisis line is picking up and I needed to talk to someone. Everything about me is bad, and broken and wrong. I have been told countless times by every ‘acquaintance’ I have ever had, that I am vile and worthless scum. That I am a pathological failure of a person and In addition, I have also been dumped and passed on by half a dozen psychiatrists. Every day of my life is a testament to how abhorrent and evil I am. I cannot do anything right and every day for me is a mess of confusion, desperation and pain. I want to end it very badly, but am simply scared. And for the last month or so, been flitting between acting or hiding from my thoughts. The mental health industry are at a loss for how to help me not being a bad person. What do I do? I think about becoming a nun, but I am not religious. How do I live my life doing positive things if I have no skills or talents?

Wrailith Hi - I need help
  • replies: 7

Hi, I decided to finally post here after trying to seek help but not being able to find anyone for a few months now. Hopefully now I will be able to find someone who can help. I am suicidal. I have social anxiety. I am depressed. I am very good at hi... View more

Hi, I decided to finally post here after trying to seek help but not being able to find anyone for a few months now. Hopefully now I will be able to find someone who can help. I am suicidal. I have social anxiety. I am depressed. I am very good at hiding my feelings. everyday I just hide my thoughts, smile when I have to speak when I have too. But none of it is real. This is how I have interacted with everyone in my life for almost a year now. It feels like telling anyone how I feel will be like saying I have lied to them. Now I am in a constant cycle where everything is getting worse and I can’t stop it. But I’m not really alone. I have the most amazing pony who means the world to me. She is truely the only part of my life stopping me from leaving. But there is only so much that she can do. I am at a point where I need help. so please help

...Gekota (Trigger warning) How do I talk to my parents about self harm urges?
  • replies: 4

Hi, I’m new to all of this forum and I’m not to sure what to expect but I thought if anyone can help it would be people who understand. I’ve been self harming for around a year or so I had been, after my parents found out along with some other compli... View more

Hi, I’m new to all of this forum and I’m not to sure what to expect but I thought if anyone can help it would be people who understand. I’ve been self harming for around a year or so I had been, after my parents found out along with some other complications concerning my mental health, they made me stop. I still have constant self harm urges most days and more then once. I don’t want to stop, I know that’s wrong, well I don’t but that’s what people tell me. I can’t stop thinking about it and I’m not able to talk to my parents about it or my therapist. Self harming helped me in some ways and I don’t know how to explain it but I don’t want to stop. I haven’t told my parents that I continue to feel as though I need to do more because I’m unsure how. I don’t know what to do, please help.

Obscure Self Imploding Manchild
  • replies: 17

I'm 43, no savings, no house, no friends, no ambition, no interest in living but i do have a crippling gambling addiction. I can't talk to my wife or anyone about my problems because they're not normal - things i'd be too scared to mention here. The ... View more

I'm 43, no savings, no house, no friends, no ambition, no interest in living but i do have a crippling gambling addiction. I can't talk to my wife or anyone about my problems because they're not normal - things i'd be too scared to mention here. The last time i spoke with a counselor she had to ask for another persons help less than one minute into the conversation and near the end, i was one "wrong" answer away from being locked up for the three day observation thing. I've read some of the posts here and no one has (or at least posted about) the same problems i have. I do want to feel better but truly believe i'd be put away if i was honest about what goes through my head. It's getting harder and harder to conform to what is deemed as "normal". I take pills for anxiety but in some ways i think i'm worse off for it. My gambling has been far worse since being on the pills. For the last four months or so I think about suicide daily. How to do it, where, when, what my note would say.

Zed0 A friend has been self-harming and suicidal.
  • replies: 3

Hi all, Just today my friend said if she could speak to me in text on Instagram. I have a small group of friends, 5 girls, and two boys (one of the boys is me). She was sort of the quiet one, but she is pretty funny, she has a best friend in the grou... View more

Hi all, Just today my friend said if she could speak to me in text on Instagram. I have a small group of friends, 5 girls, and two boys (one of the boys is me). She was sort of the quiet one, but she is pretty funny, she has a best friend in the group, her name is Skye. They have been known to joke around a lot and be really happy, but the hurt one, Pheobe is depressed and told me about her self-harming. She always said, she wanted to kill herself and stuff, we always thought it was kind of a half-joke and she was just sad. I kind of ignored her because I personally find it kind of unfunny and annoying to joke about that stuff. And I regret that. She messaged me when we came back from school this: "I’ve been self harming again and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like everyday I get worse and worse and I just wish I had someone to talk to , i can’t tell my dad because he already has enough stuff going on in his life and I don’t want him to worry about me, i don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’ve been clean until like a month ago, i wish I was genuinely happy man." I'm not to sure what to say to her, I said I'm all ears and tried to tell her that I would listen, we chatted for about 10 minutes and she said she said she wanted to talk at school. I'm pretty socially awkward and don't really give eye-contact when I talk to people. I just don't know what to say to her. I honestly haven't talked to her without joking once, and things will just be really awkward. Please help!

em35353 Really struggling to continue life.
  • replies: 4

I am currently struggling to find a reason to continue to live my life. Everyday is a battle against staying here for the sake of my family and pushing through my sad and sorry life. I have no true friends at school and everyone either doesn't know w... View more

I am currently struggling to find a reason to continue to live my life. Everyday is a battle against staying here for the sake of my family and pushing through my sad and sorry life. I have no true friends at school and everyone either doesn't know who I am, thanks to my social anxiety and therefore extreme quietness and shyness, or takes the complete piss out of me as a person with their friends. I am sick of living my life. I don't find joy in anything anymore. I have good grades and all but I don't feel proud of who am I am at all. I am sick of being so socially anxious, it truly ruins my life. Thanks to my social anxiety people think I am weird and stay away. I have the worst stutter when I am anxious and it is so dehumanizing when I try to make new friends. No one cares about me and it would make no difference if i am gone or not. I hate myself and my life so much, sometimes I get this feeling that something is crushing my chest I want it all to end so bad. I just want someone to listen and not judge me for these messed up feelings as its not realy something you can just tell anyone who asks if I am okay. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I already appreciate that you did so.

randomspace Depressed, no one understands
  • replies: 5

I’m a teen, I’ve had depression and anxiety for years, my friends and family support me and I will be receiving help soon. But, it’s getting harder and harder to handle, it hurts. I was physically and emotionally abused from a young age, and although... View more

I’m a teen, I’ve had depression and anxiety for years, my friends and family support me and I will be receiving help soon. But, it’s getting harder and harder to handle, it hurts. I was physically and emotionally abused from a young age, and although it’s stopped, whenever I think about it I start panicking and it gets so bad that I can’t breathe. I try talking about it to my family but they just say, “I suppose you’ll have to go on some drugs(medication)”,and the conversations closed.I have self harmed before and attempted suicide, I don’t want to go backwards again. I’m severely depressed and I can’t cry, I just can’t, nothing is enjoyable anymore. Is it selfish

AnnieM07 I wonder what's the point
  • replies: 2

I haven’t done anything like this before and I don’t know where to start. I hate my life and wake up most days wondering what’s the point. I constantly go for walks or long drives and wonder if I should just end it and if anyone would even notice. ju... View more

I haven’t done anything like this before and I don’t know where to start. I hate my life and wake up most days wondering what’s the point. I constantly go for walks or long drives and wonder if I should just end it and if anyone would even notice. just when I think things are going good, I instantly expect for that to end and before you know it, my life is back to square one again. I feel like everything I do isn’t good enough and I surround myself with people that I am constantly comparing myself to. do I even have close friends? Or am I just tagging along to make myself look busy on social media? i feel completely alone and like no one can fix me. I have been on medication for nearly 10 years but that doesn’t work at all these days. I’m completely at my last resort and feel so numb to the thought of dying now.

whonow Checking out
  • replies: 4

This is my first post on any kind of forum, so please excuse my naivety. I want to check out constantly. I live every day with the visions of my demise, scenes playing out of the plans I have made, of the wishes of my mind, and I cannot shake them. I... View more

This is my first post on any kind of forum, so please excuse my naivety. I want to check out constantly. I live every day with the visions of my demise, scenes playing out of the plans I have made, of the wishes of my mind, and I cannot shake them. I spend so many hours in my home, alone. I have two teenage boys, and whilst I love them completely, as they do me, I am constantly at loggerheads with them. (Yes, I know this is normal). I do not have any family in Australia, and my circle of friends is very small, with contact being limited. My only regular conversations are with therapists every week and my GP. My children have little to no contact with their father and have not done for the past almost 5 years, although this has been out of his control for the past two months, as he had a massive heart attack and has suffered a brain injury as a result. (He is currently in a rehab unit- learning how to do everything again). I have lived with manic depression and anorexia all my adult life, and I just can't keep going. As I mentioned I see two therapists regularly and have peer support from a third, and when I tell them how I am feeling, I know they are worried, as am I, but what can they or anyone do? Today, all I hear is "Just do it. Just go and end it all. The world doesn't need you, it would be better off without you. You are not needed here anymore", with a few expletives in there too. How can I silence this? Now it's the weekend, and I know if I reach out for help, my children will be taken away, and that cannot happen, but if I stay silent, I am going to go mad! PLEASE!

Robyn- Self Harm and Disassociation
  • replies: 2

I am in a no win situation. I dont want to live like this anymore but i am too much of a coward to die. Something has to change. I cant do this much longer. How can i talk to my family about this when they all have their own stuff to deal with? I can... View more

I am in a no win situation. I dont want to live like this anymore but i am too much of a coward to die. Something has to change. I cant do this much longer. How can i talk to my family about this when they all have their own stuff to deal with? I cant put this on them. Too stupid to use technology, too old and fat and broken to love again, too tired to live, too cowardly to die.