Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Started a fundraising campaign for a charity to eliminate suicidal thoughts. The campaign isn't going well and I lost my confidence.

replies: 8

Hi to the wholesome users of Beyond Blue, I've been having suicidal thoughts (and I'm not using this term loosely) for a while now due to loneliness. Then I watched some videos on youtube about how to deal with it. One of the ideas was that I could start a fundraising campaign and feel a sense of accomplishment when different individual have contributed to my cause. It sounded great. Since I've been growing out my hair for a year now due to COVID, I thought I'd start a campaign with a leukemia organisation. Unfortunately, my campaign hasn't gained any momentum in the first four days as I don't have a great social bubble, which is obvious from being lonely.

I don’t want to hurt anymore

replies: 2

Hi I am 38 years old have had anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember (think it started when my dad died when I was 6) I have 7 beautiful children but I’m so overwhelmed I honestly can’t do this anymore I have no family and no friends all I do is clean then go to work I just finished work it’s 1.23am and I’m sitting in my car I just can’t stop crying I honestly hate myself so much trying to keep my mind occupied so I don’t hurt myself.

Husband wanting me to sleep with other men

replies: 4

I have been married for over 25 years, husband currently unhappy with monotony of life and wanting to create some excitement (we are 50). He wants me to pursue other men, believing it will create more passion and excitement in our lives. It is all he talks about, I am tired of hearing his constant requests for this to happen. When we have a weekend away, it generally ends with a massive argument in the car on the way home because I am not open to his suggestion. I am not a confident person and find the idea challenging. I want to be more fun and spontaneous, but his mood is so up and down, I am struggling with our relationship. He is either fully on (affectionate and caring) when he believes we have made 'progress' towards his goal, or completely removed and distant if he feels I am not on board with his idea. I really don't know if I want to be in this relationship anymore. This scares and distresses me, as we have had, until a year or so ago, a fantastic life together. Sometimes I want to be done with everything and this is bringing thoughts of how to end my life, which I don't really think I want to do, but I just want an 'out' from the constant pressure of not being enough for him.

What exactly is "crisis"?

replies: 8

Hi... This is my first time here. I've been contemplating and searching for forums and online support for a while and thought I would post. I look at all the supports online.. all the phone numbers.. and I wonder, what is crisis? What constitutes being in crisis? Do I have a right calling those lines when I am having a "bad night"? This is my dilemma... I am a self-harmer... I am not ashamed, it is a coping mechanism and, though I have controlled it, when I am at my worst and having a "bad day" my mind searches for something to self-harm with. Am I in crisis at this point? Should I be calling someone? I know if I physically talk to someone I will bawl my eyes out, and control is something I pride myself on (or what eventually breaks at that point). I have a counsellor but her time is sparse so there are 6-8 week gaps in our sessions. I just don't feel I have a right to call... I don't know.

Life after attempt(s)

replies: 13

Hi, I survived an attempt lately that I still physically recover from. I understand now that you I could have died. I still don’t know if I wanted to die or if I just wanted peace from myself. I’ve been there before and that scares me. I don’t trust myself anymore. I have made changes in my life since discharge from hospital and trying to see ‘my new life’ in a positive way. I feel a lot of guilt and shame because I hurt people, I did something that is morally wrong, I let people down, I felt humiliated when being treated... I’m also shocked, I don’t actually know what feelings they are, they leave me empty and confused. I don’t feel like I’m ‘over’ this latest episode and I don’t want to talk to people around me because they’ve gone through too much with me. Are there people out here who understand what I mean? What feelings are that? How did they move on? Thank you

So lost

replies: 2

I honestly do not know what to do. My wife refuses to get help for childhood sexual abuse and for other issues throughout her childhood. We have been together for a decade now. And she was fine until the 3rd trimester of her first pregnancy. She suddenly devoloped pains during intercourse yet nothing was found. As the years have gone on her mental health has slowly declined and anything to do with males doing or saying the wrong thing to her she would get extremely worse and her medical problems both sexually and other unknown cause problems have become more regular and worse. We no longer have any form of sexual relationship and has been like this for roughly 7 8 months. The sexual side I am not worried about. Since all these problems began she has become more and more emotionally detached, no affection, no communication, i try to approach her and explain how this is now affecting me mentally, i just get shut down and blamed for anything or everything or if I stand my ground She believes everyone hate her. She isolates in her room at home will still get up to make a meal for kids but anything they do wrong she just gets angry and starts slamming things and goes back to hiding in the room. Kids get kids are just being snapped at for anything. I say something and then she is doing same to me. I have asked her to get help she refuses as doctors never find anything and talking does not help as councillors have said its in her head. My mental health has been getting worse as a result. Being treated like I am hated yet she is happy when around others makes me feel hated it pkays on my head questioning if she is faithful. I am heart broken knowing she is a victim and am being left to feel like a failure as a husband lover and friend. Anytime she is upset I ask and reassure I am here for her all I get is " Im fine". I now feel non existant in my marriage. To make this all better everything else is going wrong. My father died 3 days after xmas, my son came to me anout being sexually assaulted by kids his age, our financial position is screwed as talking about her money just triggers her also our cars broke down mine having to be sold for scrap as repairs were byond our means my wifes car same day dad passed. All in last 3 months. I can not take this anymore. I am holding together barely for my kids if not for them I would have ended my life.

CW. At the end of my tether

replies: 3

Hi all, First time poster I think..I don't even know anymore I'm at the point of wanting to end my life, can anyone suggest what to do to not do that? Thanks

At what age does it get easier

replies: 3

I’m 50 years old and have been working at managing my bi polar ( type 1) since first episode at 22 I had the hard time to start with but from say 35 to 45 had it managed reasonably well but it has got harder to manage as I’m getting older is this a common thing this is my first time on this site would like to know if this is the normal progression with it because it’s just really grinding me down thankyou

Over it all all too much

replies: 57

I am in such a bad place right now, I know you are not a crisis service and not expecting crisis support. But I am done. I was going to end my life last week. Stupidly told my therapist when she texted me that morning that I was going to do that. The day ended with me taken to hospital by police and undergoing assessment. I was scheduled but luckily managed to convince someone the next day that I was no longer feeling that way and was allowed to leave with follow up. I should have not have told my therapist what I was going to do. Then police etc would not have known and been chasing me. I talked to lifeline last night and told them about recent events and plans I have. Thankfully not completely immanent or they would have called police too! But no more police, no more hospital and no more anything. I am tired of putting people through all this and just want to get it all over with. This has been dragging on for so so long and I am tired.

Sad thoughts

replies: 7

I sit here crying because I don’t want to hurt my family and everyone that loves me but I don’t want to be here anymore

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Started a fundraising campaign for a charity to eliminate suicidal thoughts. The campaign isn't going well and I lost my confidence. replies: 8

I don’t want to hurt anymore replies: 2

Husband wanting me to sleep with other men replies: 4

What exactly is "crisis"? replies: 8

Life after attempt(s) replies: 13

So lost replies: 2

CW. At the end of my tether replies: 3

At what age does it get easier replies: 3

Over it all all too much replies: 57

Sad thoughts replies: 7