Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Lost

replies: 2

I feeling lost atm , just spent 2 weeks in mental hospital and felt was in a good head space when left .1 week later and I feel worse than before I went in. I’m not feeling safe in myself I don’t want to go out the front door feel scared what will ha... View more

I don't know if/how my life can be fixed. I used to drink to cope.

replies: 4

Hi all, I can't stress how much I hate myself. For most of the last year, I abused alcohol excessively because my psychiatric and psychology and mindfulness treatments and medication weren't working well enough. I stopped drinking completely about 4 weeks ago as I wanted to get better after getting really physically sick and learning that my liver was diseased as a result. I've since started going to the gym and eating 'somewhat' more healthier, but I've noticed absolutely no improvements to my depression and anxiety. Besides, the damage is already done, and even if I could fix it, there are still so many bad aspects mainly about my personality that have been life-long and impossible to fix. So my life is ruined, for example: - I'm unemployed. I can't hold down a job because I have absolutely zero self-esteem, meaning I can't handle any criticism no matter how constructive it is (I take everything to heart), I really don't think I'm good enough for anyone, and I crumble under any pressure or stress. I'm very useless and pathetic. - I'm soon going to lose my rental home because the property owner wants to sell it, and I can't afford to move anywhere else. - I'm 32, so I'm at the age when everyone else around me has their life together and are happy, whilst I've failed. So many people on social media on the internet brag about how well off they are, and this just puts me even further down. - I'm very fat and ugly. I have a very noticeable and unsightly scar on my face that I can't afford to get removed. - Reading news websites and articles online gives evidence to show how bad life is. - I desperately need to get back onto taking psych medication, but the earliest I can see my psychiatrist doctor is late this month. My two options are either suicide, or start drinking again so that I'm always drunk and therefore numb to the world and my problems.

I want to ask for help

replies: 275

For a while, I've been struggling with depression and anxiety and while my parents do know that I was having suicidal thoughts, they think I'm better now, however it'has gotten worse. I kind of want to get help as I'm sick of living like this, but I don't know how to get help. I do not want to talk to my parents as they're awful people and I just want to get away with them. My school's welfare guy and counsellors aren't that helpful and I don't trust them. Unfortunately, the only person I would talk to is a drama teacher who isn't actually my teacher anymore, but I seriously can't imagine that conversation going well. I do have a sister who I'm kind of close to but I can't be around her because (bear with me) she is everything I'm not and I feel worthless around her. Is there a way I can get help without my family getting involved?

My apologies for this rant

replies: 3

Hi to whoever is reading this, It feels strange to write this in public or rather online. Anyways, here I go. Not long ago (a few months or so), I have started getting more and more suicidal thoughts/imaginations. There were also times during a day or a week, where I can vividly imagine myself getting harmed and get this tingling sensation. I always find it hard to express myself, and only I have started to learn to communicate this properly with my partner. By communicating with my partner, I feel like I'm still a baby step towards understanding the real root of this problem. I haven't really had the best relationship with my mother since she was divorced when I was 5-7 years old (constant arguing, shouting etc..). I only came to find out they were divorced when I was 10 or so. Arguments got worse (I have anger issues) when we moved here in Australia with my step father. I was able to find out the reasons why they divorced when I turned 18 (I just turned 25 last month). Even though all of this is acceptable and may seem normal (I know even worse family problems that were shared online), I can't seem to stand the fact that I was left clueless of what was happening around me. The constant arguments grew bigger to the point that I can't stand to see my mother, without raising my voice. Sometimes I ignore my little brother (he's 10 now), my step father, and my mother, mainly because I don't feel like talking to them (can do this for months). I also hate the way my mother and step-father is raising my half-brother. I always feel guilty towards my half-brother, I can't be a good older brother to him and I am still trying. I tend to overwork for long hours (10+ hours a day) to ignore these thoughts. I am now at the final year of my PhD program and it sucks to have these thoughts. You would imagine a PhD student who's both smart and mature. But I really am not. Things got worse now that I am back living with them due to COVID and would like to save more of my stipend scholarship for future means. Everytime I overhear my mother and step-father talking about me, I always think of the worse. Why can't they just say this to my face? Anyways, my apologies for the rant. Reading over what I have written really clarifies that I think I myself is the problem. However, it has been clouding my mind for the whole year to the point, it may be better to just disappear, which I think is stupid.

A confession

replies: 2

Hi everyone, I'm not sadfishing, I promise. I just desperately want to get something off my chest. I'm a failure. Let me start from the start. I'm a lawyer, but not a particularly successful one. I certainly wouldn't retain myself. I'm not very bright. I've worked very hard, both as a student and a solicitor, but with no real skill. My second failure is as a husband and father. I poured committment into my work that I should have put into my family, with predictable results (divorce; kids overseas). When I skype with my children I have to plaster a smile on my face: one day they'll be old enough to know their dad is a parasitic version of Al Bundy. I'm not a black and white thinker: I know I've done good in my life - written and volunteered and always tried - but none of that seems to matter. It can never be enough to tip the scales. I've thought about "doing something stupid", but for me that would be a mortal sin for which there is no absolution (no judgment of those who think differently). But that means I face another 40 years of feeling like this. Oh joy.

New Year's in the Psych Ward

replies: 2

I'm really struggling at the moment. At the beginning of the month I was released from the mental health unit at the hospital because I was thinking about hurting myself. It's been a few weeks, and I've "settled" back into life at my parents house. Every day is harder and harder for me to wake up because I feel the feelings slowly creeping up on me a little more each day. I never feel happy. I noticed looking at all the pictures/videos of myself on the new phone I bought before Christmas. Every picture of me, the smile is fake. Its like this heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach or attached to my lower back, sometimes I try to ignore it, but it's always there- slowly eating away at me, and I don't know how much more I can take. A skater (I'm a skater. Started 6 months ago. Helps with depression.) committed suicide a week or so ago and it makes me feel so irritated because I know quite a few of the people who were friends with him. I had never heard of him until his passing, and then I realised how famous he was. How many other skaters in the community had skated with him and known him and done nothing about it. Been so selfish that they didn't even notice or care to help a member of their OWN community. Another guy killed himself last year. Why do we not help each other. Why have we let it come to this. What am I supposed to do. I've been dwelling on it a lot, and I'm not sure how to get their attention. How to change their ways. I'm so impulsive these days, I stuff my face with food when I'm sad, I do things like graffiti. I don't give a shit about this life or about myself. I wish it would all go away. But it can't. So I've gotta keep on doing things that make me feel alive. I'm a terrible person. I hate myself. My mind is a mess. I am a mess. Everyone hates me. No-one cares. I don't feel anything. My memory's stuffed. Lowkey wanna die right now. P.S - I have borderline personality disorder that's why I'm all over the place. Let me know what I can do to help skaters be less selfish.

Lost

replies: 4

Looking for a positive in every negative situation has been the key to keep me going thru life’s many challenging times from an early age.At 50 I’m diagnosed with a rare form macular degeneration. Like a final kick in the guts , struggling to find an... View more

Bad Deprssion

replies: 35

Hi I'm new to this. I have clinical depression or so I think.I have had depression on and off for quite a few years, but nothing like I'm going through at the moment. I don't know whether this is a bad depression or am I going nuts. I haven't come ac... View more

Will time save you?

replies: 9

Here at bb forum we regularly suggest ways to avoid suicide thoughts and planning. Things like- a change of environment which could be as basic as a walk around the back yard, a call to lifeline, talking to a friend and so on. I suggest time might well be your greatest gift to yourself. How often have you said to yourself or a family member "I feel much better than yesterday"? How often have you been stressed and a partner offers you a drink and chat, then you feel better? Time is a tool for delay, an often overlooked method of allowing your distressed mind a break from a traumatic period. Why is it not thought of.? My theory is that one is caught up in the moment, a feeling of entrapment, no escape other than taking one's life. To get personal, I inadvertently gave myself some minutes of reflection prior to my planned act and that short period of time produced a memory of what my father told me 2 years prior "better to be the best part time dad than no father at all". He was referring to my marriage troubles and he already had one son suicide on him. I've always been convinced that up to recalling my father's comment, my thoughts and plans were rushed, desperate and lethal. The topic is raw, it's also tragic. Being kind to yourself a phrase we use here often, can include some time to let your mind regroup, return to a more relaxed state...to be calm. Be aware that a desperate mind is a rash one, one whereby you are not rational, maybe not even thinking of loved ones and their future sorrow and grief. Give yourself the gift of time....a free gift to you. If time saves you then take the next step of saving yourself and seek help. It's worth the effort. TonyWK

Stress and demotivation around year 12

replies: 5

not sure if this belongs here but i’m completing year 12 this year, but i’m really struggling with anxiety and demotivation. i’m beginning to lose hope and faith in myself that I am able to do all this, it’s so much and my entire life is gonna be on pause. my mum is somewhat pushing me to go to uni after this but I don’t think I could bring myself to do another 3 years of this, I don’t even know if i’m gonna survive this year. really negative thoughts are beginning to creep in and it’s making me feel sad just all the time, when I’ve always been a very positive person. I don’t want this to ruin my relationship but I fear I’ll tear it down

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Lost replies: 2

I don't know if/how my life can be fixed. I used to drink to cope. replies: 4

I want to ask for help replies: 275

My apologies for this rant replies: 3

A confession replies: 2

New Year's in the Psych Ward replies: 2

Lost replies: 4

Bad Deprssion replies: 35

Will time save you? replies: 9

Stress and demotivation around year 12 replies: 5