What helps to keep well?

[PamelaR]

Hello everyone

Have been around the forums now for a couple of months. Posted a couple of threads under PTSD, but think it's time I move on to 'Staying Well'. In reality that is the reason I came to Beyond Blue Forums in the first place - to stay well. Not to dwell or mooch in the past.

Many of you will have read the factual information about my past. Something that is missing from my posts though is - how I really am. That's what I want this post to be. It has to be about things I'm finding out about 'who I am and how I keep well'.

I was so down, having retired last year, losing all sight of what I wanted to do, being physically incapacitated, thyroid medication not right and screaming inside. The psych who I'd just started seeing wanted me to look a my personality..... No you don't. That's not what I wanted. So I moved on to a new psychologist.

The new psychologist is drilling down. I have to take stock of myself, my feelings, my emotions and ultimately - who I am (so I need to look at what has formed by beliefs, behaviours and values).

Interestingly I'm still apprehensive about divulging me. You know why - because I was brought up to show no emotion, to not feel good about myself. And especially NEVER talk to others about yourself. That would be bragging or worse, getting too big for my boots.

ATM feeling very emotive. I want to scream, I want to reach out to you all out there and to hug you all.

Hugs were never something that happened in our household. I only learnt how to hug women in the 1990s when I worked with some wonderful group of women in the disability field. How good was that!! What had I'd been missing all those years - hugs from women. It learnt it was okay. Hugging men - of course that was always okay cos it's normal.

Me - my heart pounds at least an hour or two every day. I spend and hour or two settling those pounds. Why does it happen - every look, every word, every sound and every thought make me feel worthless.

I asked hubby today if he loved himself. He said well, yes a lot more that I did before. You know I did that. I thought him to love himself. But can I do that for me. I'm really trying.

Loving oneself - keeps you well. I'll get there. BB forums is helping me like you'd never believe.

Sending everyone who reads this all the hugs I can.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[PamelaR]

Thank you for your kind thoughts Butterfly Wings (Starting New). Well done to you too, I'm really impressed. You've come a long way. Your art work sounds extremely interesting. You go girl!!

Creativity is such a release I find. When I do leadlighting or editing photos in lightroom, I get this calm and relaxed feeling that goes through my whole body. It's wonderful. Do you experience similar feelings or emotions when you're creating something?

[startingnew]

this ones a new style Pammy, ive never tried this one before but it is definently a must again! i done 4 big canvasses and 4 small canvases. they actually turned out alot better tan i thought except 2 i dont like the colouring and one of them got wrecked 😞 i had them on the table but the plastic sheeting was too big and when the wind blew it flicked up and got stuck so it wrecked it.

have a look on youtube- Fluid artwork and itll show it.

hmm in regards to feelings- get the calmness but i also get those joy feelings. i started to go off my artworks hadnt done any sheesh for months and come across a link and ended up watching youtube clips on this until about 3am and then was doing it at 9am till 2ish. was really good to be able to do something for myself today

[blondguy]

Hey Pamela

Thankyou for your lovely reply 🙂

What keeps me well?...ummm

Not taking myself so seriously anymore...It takes time yet the results are peaceful

My kind thoughts always

Paul

[Chloe_M]

Yay! I hope you continue spiralling up!

Good on you!

Yes i find i am quite energetic lol 😄

Hope today is amazing for you today 🙂

x Chloe ❤️

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone..

I have been thinking a lot on Pamela thread title and just thought I would add a few things that I used to do/ still do some of them.and trying to do some of them..l

I think lots of things can help us to stay well with our mental health, I think we need to try to understand our thoughts and feelings, and also try to notice how we feel with what's going on around us and what makes us feel good.... and always trying to remember the good things in our life. This can be hard too do, but practice makes it easier to remember..

Maybe we could...start a notebook and write down even one thing were thankful for each day.

If something that your doing lifts your spirits and your energy level..Maybe try to do some of that each day...

Maybe spending some time working in the garden, we should try to do the things we enjoy on a daily basis.

Also time spent with friends , going out or just having a quiet cuppa together...Volunteering makes us feel worthwhile and good about ourselves..because we are helping others..

kind thoughts,

Grandy..

[Elizabeth CP]

Sorry I haven't posted here for a while. I've been focusing on surviving rather than staying well

Karen mentioned time spent with friends , going out or just having a quiet cuppa together I think this is important but what you do or who you spend time with depends on your situation at the time.

Sometimes it is good to spend time with someone you can talk to openly so you can vent & feel understood & supported. I recently visited a friend for a couple of days because I needed to escape from the situation I was in. When talking with her it helped feel someone was there to support me whereas when I was alone my thought were very negative.

In contrast on Monday someone took me out for the day. We are not very close & we didn't talk about my problems at all. Instead we engaged in light talk about what we were visiting & general conversation. I came home feeling so much better having a complete break from everything. My mood was better for the rest of the day even when visiting my husband in hospital.

Sometimes I need to be left alone if really stressed. On Sunday I had people at church trying to get me to sit with them but they weren't close friends & I was already feeling really stressed so I felt so pressured I left as fast as I could to prevent anyone trying to stop me or ask what was wrong. While in most situations running away is not good but in that situation it was the best thing for me.

I usually try to be productive, gardening, renovating & just keeping the house reasonably clean & tidy because then I feel useful & it keeps my mind off negative things. This week I've done almost nothing other than looking after my husband. I feel guilty & useless but I'm trying to remind myself that I need to take a break from my normal activities to concentrate on what is essential & allow time to read etc so I can cope.

[PamelaR]

Hello everyone

I truly appreciate input into this thread that keep your spirits up, your mind, body and soul active and well. Focussing on what we do, what we can do, things we achieve are so good for our mh. Many thanks to all contributors to this thread.

Butterfly wings (SN) - awesome!! Looked at the fluid art on youtube. Love it. Currently doing lead lighting, i.e. making a lamp shade. Great feeling to be making something with my own hands. Learning to use tools I've never handled before. Loving it.

Paul - so good to hear you don't take yourself seriously anymore. Hubby was a bit like that too. Having lived with me for over 30 years - he had to change. And he has. Thank goodness.

Chloe - thanks for popping in. Catch you on your thread when I can. Nice of you to think of me.

Grandy - Keeping a journal of your ongoing 'positives' is excellent. Must confess, my journal is full of the darkside. Turning that on it's head is wonderful. Thank you. And your other ideas - work in the garden, time with friends, volunteering are wonderful ways to keep motivated, keep inspired and ultimately keep you well.

Elizabeth - I'm so sorry I haven't been on to your thread for so long. I do think of you though and often take a quick look at the posts. It's just so busy for me at the moment. I do like your thoughts about how to keep well - meeting up with friends is so important. But beyond that, opening up and talking about the things that are important, especially what's going on to cause you stress. It's taken me a long time to do that. Still not at all easy for me. That's why I find going to a psychologist so easy. I just wish I could do more of what you do. Great way of keeping well. Thank you.

What have I been doing over the week to keep well - i) downloading here a bit about how i'm actually feeling. Takes an enormous amount for me to do that. ii) leadlighting class - making a lamp shade (almost there). It's so good to be using my hands. Something I haven't done much in my life. iii) bricking the garden bed to keep the soil in, finalising all the veggie patches and planting seedlings. Ohhh, hands in soil!! I think that is one of Pepper's really good 'staying well' messages.

So please post everyone, we want to hear all those things that keep you well, keep you motivate, keep you wanting to be here.

Have a look at what people have posted and find something to add to the already growing amount of things to stay healthy, well and motivated!!

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Ggrand]

Hello Everyone,

Pamela, I have a excercise book, What I have done is I've found the centre of the book and I've made a bookmark long enough to go from top of the page to the bottom..Then I glued it onto the page..

The front half of the book I write my positives.. the back of the book. I start on the last page of the book and work towards the middle..I put my negatives...

By doing it this way, we can see who reaches the middle first..Usually.....negatives gets to the middle first...but I know one day that positives will get to the centre first...

Today what kept me well...Today I was very emotional, i kept myself very busy, vacuuming, dusting,,washing clothes and washing floors etc..it kept my thoughts away from my sadness most of the day... So I would say that working has kept me well today..

Warm hugs ang thoughts,

Grandy..

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Pammy (and all),

I’m happy to hear you’ve found so many tricks and strategies to help keep yourself well 🙂

Good on your for sharing a little more about how you’re going as it seems to be helping you by the sounds of things. I know how hard it is for you to share and talk about your feelings so well done!

Gardening seems to be keeping you in good spirits, which is wonderful. I hope you get to spend some more time in the garden 🙂

Pepper xoxo

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Pam for your kind reply. I am glad you are improving.

Your reply illustrates an important aspect of staying well. We need to moderate or balance our activities to suit our needs at the time. This means not pressuring ourselves to respond to posts as quickly as we would otherwise & avoiding threads which are triggering at the time. I enjoy your responses on my thread but don't expect them particularly when you are busy or struggling.

When I mentioned opening up to close friends about our feelings I believe this has to be done only with people you trust & ONLY at a level you are comfortable with. I only share what I feel comfortable with at the time & it is important to balance this with time spent on pleasant neutral topics. Spending too much time dwelling on your problems can be counterproductive.

One thing which helps me is having something to look forward to. This is hard when everything is going wrong but can be a powerful motivator to pull yourself together to overcome challenges. My son jokingly complains that his inheritance will be a collection of photobooks made of our trips!!! I find planned trips give me something to look forward to & struggle when things go wrong so we can't travel.

Years ago my mum was in hospital & we were told she would not recover. A day later my sister arrived from overseas with her toddler who mum had never seen. You could see a huge change in my mum sa she suddenly had something to live for. In the ensuing weeks both the family & hospital staff made efforts to make things as pleasant for her as possible (including staff giving mum bubble baths in a public hospital!!) She got excellent medical care but feeling life was worth living made a huge difference. Her case was a physical illness but I think mental illness is likely to respond similarly.