What helps to keep well?

[PamelaR]

Hello everyone

Have been around the forums now for a couple of months. Posted a couple of threads under PTSD, but think it's time I move on to 'Staying Well'. In reality that is the reason I came to Beyond Blue Forums in the first place - to stay well. Not to dwell or mooch in the past.

Many of you will have read the factual information about my past. Something that is missing from my posts though is - how I really am. That's what I want this post to be. It has to be about things I'm finding out about 'who I am and how I keep well'.

I was so down, having retired last year, losing all sight of what I wanted to do, being physically incapacitated, thyroid medication not right and screaming inside. The psych who I'd just started seeing wanted me to look a my personality..... No you don't. That's not what I wanted. So I moved on to a new psychologist.

The new psychologist is drilling down. I have to take stock of myself, my feelings, my emotions and ultimately - who I am (so I need to look at what has formed by beliefs, behaviours and values).

Interestingly I'm still apprehensive about divulging me. You know why - because I was brought up to show no emotion, to not feel good about myself. And especially NEVER talk to others about yourself. That would be bragging or worse, getting too big for my boots.

ATM feeling very emotive. I want to scream, I want to reach out to you all out there and to hug you all.

Hugs were never something that happened in our household. I only learnt how to hug women in the 1990s when I worked with some wonderful group of women in the disability field. How good was that!! What had I'd been missing all those years - hugs from women. It learnt it was okay. Hugging men - of course that was always okay cos it's normal.

Me - my heart pounds at least an hour or two every day. I spend and hour or two settling those pounds. Why does it happen - every look, every word, every sound and every thought make me feel worthless.

I asked hubby today if he loved himself. He said well, yes a lot more that I did before. You know I did that. I thought him to love himself. But can I do that for me. I'm really trying.

Loving oneself - keeps you well. I'll get there. BB forums is helping me like you'd never believe.

Sending everyone who reads this all the hugs I can.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[blondguy]

Hey Pamela.....you dont have to post when going through rough patch. Really sad about your brother and I hope you take some time for yourself too. You are very hard on yourself. There is only so much you can do unfortunately

Heaps of Hugs

• I landscape/garden to give my brain a break and stay well
• Please be 'gentle' with yourself Pamela

My Kindest thoughts

Paul

[Ggrand]

Hello Pamela,

Im really sorry to hear about your brother and so very sorry that you are struggling so hard..

Pammy, Please take time out from the forums if you need to..Your health must come first...I want to give you a little red rose 🌹..because you are a beautiful person, Pammy in body and soul.

I hope your brother get well enough to get out of bed again, then you can enjoy a BBQ together to time together, Make some good memories..Pammy Please don't be hard on yourself. Show yourself some of that kind and gentleness you give to others on the forums..

People are different and handle things differently, you are certainly not a hard person, I can only see a kind and caring Pammy here on these forums..,You are special to a lot of people here and needed as well as liked/loved..

So Please Pamela look after you first, then come back to us when you feel strong enough to do so.. in the mean time we are here to give you our care and support for as long as you need it..

Warm and caring hugs Pammy..🤗🤗🤗🌹..

Grandy xx

[Peppermintbach]

Hey Pammy,

What Mandy wrote was beautiful, and I couldn’t have said it any better myself. Way to go, Mandy 🙂

Your latest bout of anxiety sounds really hard hitting. Seems to have shaken you up, so to speak. I feel, at heart, you meant the very best with good intentions. You’re not your mother (or anyone else for that matter)...you’re you, okay....

I agree with everyone else’s comments about taking care of yourself above all else. What you do on the forums is wonderfully generous and caring but I feel that can wait as you recharge and focus on your offline priorities...

Sending love and care,

Pepper xoxo

[startingnew]

Hi Pammy

i dont have much to add to what everyone has said but know im here for you too. please try and 'keep well' in anyway you can.

Hugs xoxox

[PamelaR]

Hello everyone

Thank you all!!! I'm going to respond to some

Amanda - It is actually quite nice to be missed. It makes me feel cared for, something I lacked as a child. You are special in my heart. Giving me that sense of care helps to lift my spirits and to reinvigorate my confidence. Yeah, I know I'm not an old cow. Though I feel like it sometimes. But I hear you - be gentler on myself. I try 🙂

Paul - Loved your hugs. Thanks you. Hugs are special for me too. Not feeling at all that I have to post. I want to post because it helps me. For so long I have lived in my head and not expressed myself. Even now, you'll find most of my posts are much more factual than - emotive. Showing emotions either verbally or in writing was never encouraged. Also, as a child all that meant for me - was quarrels, constant quarrels.

GGrandy - How did you know I love roses. You know on our anniversary for the first 12 years - we each bought one and another the number of red roses for how long we'd been married. LOL, it got too expensive. We had to give them up. But now we can do it virtually. It's great. Thank you for your encouragement and beautiful words. Everything helps to make me better.

Pepper - You are so right, I am not my mother (thank God). Yes, I have been in a very hard place. However, as always, here I am again. Can't keep a good woman down. LOL. Me thinks though, I'll slow my pace down a little. As you have been highlighting for a long time!! Takes me awhile to catch on.

Beautiful ButterflyWings (SN) - Thank you for your thoughts. Much appreciated.

So, everyone is invited to share their thoughts and experiences of what works for them to keep well.

As you can see, there are so many things that help. It doesn't mean not getting triggered, it just means having the tools / resources to get back on track and roll forward.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[demonblaster]

Dear Pammy

I'm realky sorry you've been struggling, you are very cared about here and as you can see we want to be here for you too.

Major soul hugs hun, so good seeing you but as these beautiful people are saying look after you first.

You're a lovely person Pammy 🤗⚘🤝

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Pammy (and all),

I’m glad you’re looking after yourself. Oh dear, I hope I haven’t been lecturing you...

In any case, as I said, I think it’s good that you’re recognising your own needs and prioritising your own mental health.

If people are reading (hi) and Pammy is interested in our thoughts on:

So, everyone is invited to share their thoughts and experiences of what works for them to keep well.

Sending love and care,

Pepper xoxo

[Chloe_M]

Hi Pammy,

How are you doing today? What is helping you stay well today?

[PamelaR]

Hello everyone,

Welcome to the keep well thread.

Your insights and your experiences are sought and welcomed to help others through their recovery and healing.

I have just a few comments to make to -

I've found PTSD, anxiety and depression are always going to be there. I can recover from some of the worst trauma, however, as I continue through life I am learning how to manage the triggers that occur all the time. There is no magical wand to control what and when the triggers will occur. Occur they will. So I've been learning how to manage through these down phases, to keep well and to keep motivated.

One of the major things I've found, is to have someone that understands what you are going through. People on the forum in particular are so supportive and understanding. It helps me so, so much.

Deeb - thank you for checking in. Big hugs back to you big time. Yes, I'm looking after myself. It's been rather difficult over the past fortnight due to a range of things happening in my life. Overall, I think I'm through the worst of it. My energy levels and activity levels have increased significantly. I'm back posting again. I'll do a summary at the end about all the things that are helping me.

Pepper - nah, you never lecture (maybe that's what you did/do in your life), but here you're great value and love to have you around. You are so right about recognising my own mental health, but sometimes, you know (I'm sure) that is so difficult. However, I am learning, especially from all you lovely people who post in the forums. Awesome. And yes, it keeps me well. (PS - that's for keeping the thread on track. Much appreciated).

Chloe - You are so energetic. Love it. Hold on to that for as long as you can. My body is aging and you know, I really have difficulties coming to terms with that. Which of course sets me off in a spiral of depression. However, now that I have renewed energy (from change to medication, seeing a new psych?) Today you would have found me in the garden shovelling compost and soil, planting more seedling veggies, getting down and dirty (basic exercise). My spiral is going upwards to the sky. That's what I did today. I've also posted to new people on the forums and find this very beneficial. Just hope those I post to, find them useful too.

[startingnew]

hey Pammy

its good to hear your spiralling upwards now 🙂 was a really nice day here too and have a day off for most of the day so took to opportunity to do some painting. loved trying out a new painting style called fluid art was really good to do! now lots of waiting while the paint dries properly for the next few days then varnish it and wait again for another few days. ive got a few prospective buyers after just putting some pics up so hopefully i can sell some of those too