What helps to keep well?

[PamelaR]

Hello everyone

Have been around the forums now for a couple of months. Posted a couple of threads under PTSD, but think it's time I move on to 'Staying Well'. In reality that is the reason I came to Beyond Blue Forums in the first place - to stay well. Not to dwell or mooch in the past.

Many of you will have read the factual information about my past. Something that is missing from my posts though is - how I really am. That's what I want this post to be. It has to be about things I'm finding out about 'who I am and how I keep well'.

I was so down, having retired last year, losing all sight of what I wanted to do, being physically incapacitated, thyroid medication not right and screaming inside. The psych who I'd just started seeing wanted me to look a my personality..... No you don't. That's not what I wanted. So I moved on to a new psychologist.

The new psychologist is drilling down. I have to take stock of myself, my feelings, my emotions and ultimately - who I am (so I need to look at what has formed by beliefs, behaviours and values).

Interestingly I'm still apprehensive about divulging me. You know why - because I was brought up to show no emotion, to not feel good about myself. And especially NEVER talk to others about yourself. That would be bragging or worse, getting too big for my boots.

ATM feeling very emotive. I want to scream, I want to reach out to you all out there and to hug you all.

Hugs were never something that happened in our household. I only learnt how to hug women in the 1990s when I worked with some wonderful group of women in the disability field. How good was that!! What had I'd been missing all those years - hugs from women. It learnt it was okay. Hugging men - of course that was always okay cos it's normal.

Me - my heart pounds at least an hour or two every day. I spend and hour or two settling those pounds. Why does it happen - every look, every word, every sound and every thought make me feel worthless.

I asked hubby today if he loved himself. He said well, yes a lot more that I did before. You know I did that. I thought him to love himself. But can I do that for me. I'm really trying.

Loving oneself - keeps you well. I'll get there. BB forums is helping me like you'd never believe.

Sending everyone who reads this all the hugs I can.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[QSilver80]

Pamela,

Thanks for the info. Yes I have learned to challenge my beliefs - that was part of the CBT course. Part of my problem is not being able to pick up the cues within my thoughts and body (rapid heartbeat etc) until they start to impact what I am doing e.g. work, a conversation or one of my wellness activities. However, stopping as soon as I feel "bad" and acknowledging the issue is good advice. I usually continue what I am doing, refocus on the task at hand as a distraction to clear my thoughts and then, when the immediate task is over I analyse the belief or assumptions that lead me to my negative emotion/thought.

Just to clear some ambiguity - whilst I listed a number of activities that I have used to stay well I dont actually use all of them at the same time. I am looking for a "go to" activity that works for me and to date I cant find anything suitable. When I was younger I would do some intense activity (usually run) for about 30 mins and that would keep the adrenaline in me for the entire day, nowadays my body wont allow this so I am looking for something else.

However, whilst writing in this forum I have found that this (writing) certainly helps by allowing me to express myself and re-analyse my thoughts - and I dont get sore knees from running! I guess this is a form of stopping and re-thinking my emotion and whilst it does not help me in the "moment" I think/hope it will help me get through tomorrow. Thanks.

[QSilver80]

Chloe,

Thanks for the suggestions. I will give music a try, just listening not the singing and dancing as my kids already think I'm strange!.

regards,

Q80

[Chloe_M]

Hi Pammy,

to stay well yesterday, I read a lot and spent some quality time on the forums.

I also went to my first headspace appointment, but won't say much it's on my thread.

Have a good day x

chloe ❤️

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Pammy (and all),

You sound like you had a hectic and possibly rough day yesterday.

I hope you’re okay...sending kind thoughts.

Pepper xoxo

[PamelaR]

Hello everyone

Thank you all for your positive management strategies. So good to see. The more we share, the better we'll become.

ElizabethCP - Thank you for responding. Have to catch up on a lot of people's threads. Will have a look at yours.

QSilver80 - You certainly have a lot of tools in your mental health kit! When I was first taught CBT, the focus was on changing the 'thought', not the 'belief'. Just a slight difference that has perhaps hindered my wellbeing for a little while. I've been great at changing my thoughts, but not so good at changing beliefs and values about myself. Getting there though.In terms of 'to do' when you need, rather than running, are you able to swim or do aqua aerobics? Writing is always good to resync the brain, as is walking. Or any activity for that matter.

Chloe - good to hear you read a lot and spent quality time on forums. Always love your posts. Very friendly, very supportive and caring. Wonderful really. Will try to pop over to your thread today to see what happened at eHeadspace.

Pepper - Receiving your kind thoughts, thank you!! Yes, yesterday took a lot of tools from my kit to help me through yesterday. But I made it and I'm up again today 🙂 Bit of a cycle really.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Amy23]

Your doing amazing Pamela, always have HOPE because when all this is over and your feeling happy good things will happen.

[Chloe_M]

Aww thanks Pammy xx

I try and be as friendly as possible; supportive too. don't know about wonderful but thanks anyway xx ❤️

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Pammy,

I’m glad you’re using your various strategies to help you stay afloat. That is wonderful to hear 🙂

Pepper xoxo

[demonblaster]

Hey beautiful Pammy and other loves 💗

Darlin please please don't take this as pressure cause it's honestly not and I get you're busy and new responsibilities that you are totally suited tok my friend ☺

Missing you that's as a compliment so to go with that in this little surprise 🎁 from this nifty little virtual shop, only for VIP's mind you and of course I have a life time membership ...inside...is...peeky booo..my 💗..but "wait ..there's more" 👀...super warm 🤗....☺...hope you're well huns..take good care dear friend 😚👄🕊

[CMF]

Hi everyone,

I think my new job is helping to keep me well. I thanked the boss today and he said he is excited for me. Excited that I'm out and interacting with people, happy for my kids and said that he can see me being there for the next 20 years! Omg, what a compliment and how nice from the business owner/partner.

Cmf x