What helps to keep well?

[PamelaR]

Hello everyone

Have been around the forums now for a couple of months. Posted a couple of threads under PTSD, but think it's time I move on to 'Staying Well'. In reality that is the reason I came to Beyond Blue Forums in the first place - to stay well. Not to dwell or mooch in the past.

Many of you will have read the factual information about my past. Something that is missing from my posts though is - how I really am. That's what I want this post to be. It has to be about things I'm finding out about 'who I am and how I keep well'.

I was so down, having retired last year, losing all sight of what I wanted to do, being physically incapacitated, thyroid medication not right and screaming inside. The psych who I'd just started seeing wanted me to look a my personality..... No you don't. That's not what I wanted. So I moved on to a new psychologist.

The new psychologist is drilling down. I have to take stock of myself, my feelings, my emotions and ultimately - who I am (so I need to look at what has formed by beliefs, behaviours and values).

Interestingly I'm still apprehensive about divulging me. You know why - because I was brought up to show no emotion, to not feel good about myself. And especially NEVER talk to others about yourself. That would be bragging or worse, getting too big for my boots.

ATM feeling very emotive. I want to scream, I want to reach out to you all out there and to hug you all.

Hugs were never something that happened in our household. I only learnt how to hug women in the 1990s when I worked with some wonderful group of women in the disability field. How good was that!! What had I'd been missing all those years - hugs from women. It learnt it was okay. Hugging men - of course that was always okay cos it's normal.

Me - my heart pounds at least an hour or two every day. I spend and hour or two settling those pounds. Why does it happen - every look, every word, every sound and every thought make me feel worthless.

I asked hubby today if he loved himself. He said well, yes a lot more that I did before. You know I did that. I thought him to love himself. But can I do that for me. I'm really trying.

Loving oneself - keeps you well. I'll get there. BB forums is helping me like you'd never believe.

Sending everyone who reads this all the hugs I can.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[PamelaR]

Hello Pepper

Ahhh, you have raised some very pertinent issues in your post about 'What Helps to Keep Well'.

There is lots of research about the influence of weather on mental illness. One in particular is 'troppo season / mango madness' that occurs during the build up of monsoons in the tropics. I've lived through it and even were I am now, I can feel the pressure on my body building as the air pressure increases. The extension of this is - when the climate changes, i.e. so it heats up. Air pressures will increase and will have an impact on mental illness.

So what can we do to 'keep well' under these circumstances? Good question and I'll put it out to others on the forum.

What can you do in your life to not be so affected by changes in weather or more importantly, how can you keep well during these changes?

Kind regards

PamelaR

[PamelaR]

I realise I made a mistake in my last post. It should have been addressed to everyone, with a (wave to dear Pepper).

P

[Elizabeth CP]

I live in the south so the Monsoon season is not an issue. Down here we can get really hot spells which can affect my mood particularly if fire danger rises. In winter SADs (Seasonal Affective disorder) can lower mood. I think that as the city grows increased pollution creates more overcast days with less sunshine to lift the mood.

I'm interested in ideas to assist in both these cases. Spending time under shady trees & near lakes or rivers seems to help in hot weather. In the winter I try to spend time outside whenever it is sunny helps. I try to open the curtains as soon as possible in the morning to get as much light into my house as possible. I try to spend time near north facing windows in my house. The sun on my back on a winters day seems to lift my mood & helps get through the overcast days.

[blondguy]

'Unlearning' the judgemental way I was brought up through my GP and counselor

It unlocks another door to having greater peace of mind

Finding the good in people has a feeling of peace on its own 🙂

(apologies for boring everyone but yes it can require some quality cognitive therapy to let this happen)

No pain..no gain

My kind thoughts

Paul xo

[demonblaster]

Hi dear Pammy and all other good people here ☺

yebaa just caught up so just a quicky tho I have a couple of notes for another time

Re climate affecting moods interesting. In England the depression rate is high due to not a lot of sunlight.

I think Elizabeth bought up some good points (hi btw ☺) about when possible being in the sunlight.

Took me yrs to work out why I felt/feel uncomfortable in dull rooms, over the yrs staying at a few peoples places a lot possibly to calm do have dimmed lights ick and its because then/now it's where in depression my head goes, its dark or black. Triggers. Love light.

Btw lovey you said back there you hope you can live up to peoples expectations, you exceed them imo and are SO suited to this role. All of the champs. I admire you and as Starts said I too am very happy to have you amidst my support.

Yes face to face so much easier with tone on talking, eye contact, facial gestures, touch if they're receptive the list goes on ☺

Hope you're doing well Pammy and all for that matter

Deep care 🤗

[Tams20]

Hi PamelaR (and everyone else),

Just posting so I can follow this thread... I have no idea what keeps me well, my strategies obviously don’t work because I am a mess! So I’m looking for some tips from you lovely people 😊

Tams

[Elizabeth CP]

Demon blasters post reminded me of something.

Years ago I had a bedroom in cream brown & wood. Lots of cream so not too dark & each item I liked. After a while I noticed I felt depressed when in that room. Eventually I laid blue carpet over the wood floor & bought a blue bedspread. My previous house had a blue bedroom which I was happy in. Those two changes made a significant difference to my mood.

Recently I painted my living room & kitchen including painting the chocolate brown brick which made the rooms too dark. It certainly looks better & lighter so I'm hoping it will help my mood.

I think trying to have a pleasant home environment is important. It doesn't have to be the latest fashion but being clean tidy organised & with some nice things around helps. I also need to have windows I can look out to a nice outside preferably trees or flowers. These won't fix a major depression but will help to lift the mood. Being tidy & organised is important. I really struggle if I can't find things. It makes me feel out of control. This doesn't mean having a spotless perfect house because that just puts too much pressure. It is about getting it clean, tidy & pleasant enough to feel in control & comfortable. It is important to put things in your home you like rather than fitting in with what you think others want.

[demonblaster]

Pammy everyone hiya

Liz (if thats ok ☺ I agree esp at home cause most I'd think spend at least a good chunk of time there and it's our hopefully comfort zone.

Father in law (fil or FIL) yrs ago said he had I think Black and strong Red paint and either the bedroom or lounge. I like both colours for certain things but felt ughh at the thought too strong and dark.

I rent but how often I've thought if I owned what colours would give me peace and they're soft ones, pinks, light shades of greens, pale Grey and cream that's here same throughout tho pleasant.

Some swine chopped a tree stump outta a couple of window views it was gorgeous and had creepers growing through it and hanging off absolutely loved it as others did too, I was devastated it gave so much pleasure so at least a good memory but it didn't need to go. It wasn't a popular move

I think colour is to peoples preference good for mental health

Yes I don't like that brick colour there's some not many on walks I've seen that are outstanding, lighter fawny colour and different shapes probably more expensive but worth it I feel.

Lately Pammy and all I've been listening to pan flute instrumental. Puts me in a peaceful place, I don't listen to music much. It's settled me a lot in recent bad MH and I can use it as a pleasant happy memory to call on in hard times.

[QSilver80]

Hello everyone - I am new to the forum so I apologise if I take the conversation either off track or over old ground. I saw the Forum title an thought that someone here may have ideas that will "help to keep well".

I have read the posts regarding colour, climate & moods and I agree with the suggestions i.e light colour = happy moods. Aside from repainting are there any other suggestions that have been made in this forum tat I can use to retain my mental health? I have tried many activities which all worked in the short term but I am still searching for that 1 thing that suits me... no doubt others out there have there own methods and I would love to hear from them and perhaps try the suggestions. I completed a CBT course 4 months ago but sometimes I really struggle to retain my affirmations. I take medication and seek fortnightly professional help but I would like to give these up one day and substitute them with a useful self help activity.

Self help activities I have tried to help keep me well:

Sport (football), writing, gardening, learning something new (3D CAD drawing), mindfulness activities, spending quality time (not more time) with my kids, watching movies, volunteering, working more, working less.

Any suggestions will be appreciated.

[Chloe_M]

Hi QSilver80 and welcome to the forums 🤗

All of those sound great!! Also do you like to read? If so reading really helps. Also listening to happy music. To keep well I dance and sing as well as exercise (more), read, watch movies and musicals, and hang out with my friends.

Take care xx

Chloe