What helps to keep well?

[PamelaR]

Hello everyone

Have been around the forums now for a couple of months. Posted a couple of threads under PTSD, but think it's time I move on to 'Staying Well'. In reality that is the reason I came to Beyond Blue Forums in the first place - to stay well. Not to dwell or mooch in the past.

Many of you will have read the factual information about my past. Something that is missing from my posts though is - how I really am. That's what I want this post to be. It has to be about things I'm finding out about 'who I am and how I keep well'.

I was so down, having retired last year, losing all sight of what I wanted to do, being physically incapacitated, thyroid medication not right and screaming inside. The psych who I'd just started seeing wanted me to look a my personality..... No you don't. That's not what I wanted. So I moved on to a new psychologist.

The new psychologist is drilling down. I have to take stock of myself, my feelings, my emotions and ultimately - who I am (so I need to look at what has formed by beliefs, behaviours and values).

Interestingly I'm still apprehensive about divulging me. You know why - because I was brought up to show no emotion, to not feel good about myself. And especially NEVER talk to others about yourself. That would be bragging or worse, getting too big for my boots.

ATM feeling very emotive. I want to scream, I want to reach out to you all out there and to hug you all.

Hugs were never something that happened in our household. I only learnt how to hug women in the 1990s when I worked with some wonderful group of women in the disability field. How good was that!! What had I'd been missing all those years - hugs from women. It learnt it was okay. Hugging men - of course that was always okay cos it's normal.

Me - my heart pounds at least an hour or two every day. I spend and hour or two settling those pounds. Why does it happen - every look, every word, every sound and every thought make me feel worthless.

I asked hubby today if he loved himself. He said well, yes a lot more that I did before. You know I did that. I thought him to love himself. But can I do that for me. I'm really trying.

Loving oneself - keeps you well. I'll get there. BB forums is helping me like you'd never believe.

Sending everyone who reads this all the hugs I can.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Pamela (and all),

You sound like you had a very productive and personally satisfying day yesterday. A solid effort 🙂

Your garden sounds like it received the royal treatment yesterday. I hope your veggies turn out well. That’s pretty exciting!

Pepper xoxo

[Birdy77]

Dear Pammy,

Well done, taking on the role of CC.

Just keep doing what you're doing ... you have been doing it for months, supporting many, now it's just official.

🌻birdy

[startingnew]

Congrats on becoming CC Pammy, im very happy for you xoxo

[PamelaR]

Hello everyone

Yes, I've been having a very productive time. You should have seen what we did today. Finalised our mini pond - air pump, fishies, grass, lily. And, a load of paving bricks. Talk about back breaking work. But we did it.

Chloe - thank you for your resounding support. It makes me feel okay about myself. How was your day today?

Starts - thank you too. Nah, didn't find the badge. It is annoying me.... How have you been? I'll pop over to your thread soon. Have loads to catch up on. Might be a little later tonight. Love your support Starts!

Pepper - thank you for popping in here. Greatly appreciated. Yes the garden is getting the royal treatment - still is. Have loads to do. Since I've been down in a hollow, the veggie garden has suffered. But it's coming to life again. Can't wait for the new batch of tomatoes.

Birdy - thank you for your support too. It's nice to be appreciated.

Just hope I can live up to everyone's expectations.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Pamela (and all),

Congratulations on your CC appointment 🙂 Well done! That’s wonderful news.

Thank you for having me. Your garden sounds gorgeous. I hope your mini pond is a nice, peaceful place for you and your husband.

Your own homegrown tomatoes will be delicious, I’m sure!

About expectations, my (highly) unsolicited thoughts is maybe just use your own inner barometer as the main expectation to live up to. Other people will often think this and that but I feel what counts the most are your own expectations of yourself. Just my thoughts...take it or leave it for what it is ❤️

Pepper xoxo

[startingnew]

the alluding badge hunt continues lol. and i love your support too and feel blessed to have you in my support crew xox try not to place to much expectations on yourself, practice your own self care which includes seeking support for yourself when things get tough (CCs arent immune to the tough stuff remember) you seem to do well with self care might i add. you dont have to change because of your badge, i think you already do a great job around the forums xox

[PamelaR]

Hello everyone

Pepper - thank you. I do truly appreciate your kindness and thoughts. Yes, the tomatoes are awesome. Nothing better than home grown ones. About using my inner barometer, sometimes, I can be a little impulsive, but do try to think how others will feel by my words. It's taken a long time to get to that point. (On the very odd occasion I forget)

Starts - ahh, you're lovely. Thank you. Yeah that illusive badge LOL. Who knows?Will practice my own self care like I post for others. Again, I do forget, but will try. Thanks for the reminder.

You are lovely people.

PamelaR

[Chloe_M]

Hi Pammy,

Found the badge yet? Hope it turns up, losing things is incredibly frustrating.

Your pond sounds lovely- a bit like my uncle's. What fish do you have in there? I love fish haha (as pets and as seafood!).

Have a great weekend 🙂

Chloe

[blondguy]

Hey Pamela

What keeps me well (besides counseling)?

Music.....and heaps of it...To me its a huge key that unlocks the door to having some peace 🙂

My kind thoughts

Paul

[Chloe_M]

Me too Paul

i listen to music all the time. At the bus stop, at lunch and recess, at home, you name it and I'm listening to music. It calms me down and gives me something to focus on other than my anxiety. I agree it is very peaceful.

😌 Chloe