Talking to your inner critic, can it be tamed?

[quirkywords]

Do you have an inner critic ? Have you ever tried to talk to your inner critic. This is what happened when I tried. In my Be yourself thread people asked about how I interviewed my inner critic. So here it is.

This is adapted from a writing exercise to interview your inner critic about one's writing. As my inner critic has an opinion all aspects of my life I decided to broaden the scope of the interview.

Me: I welcome (well I don't really) this opportunity to find out why you always need to have an opinion that is always negative about me and my life.

IC: I thought this was going to be a friendly interchange of ideas but there you go with your anger and hostile remarks. I do not see myself as negative but as helping you, because you do need help.

I am here to help you why can't you see that?

Me: So when I am trying to sleep and you tell me about all my mistakes, embarrassing moments, how does that help me?

IC: I thought while you are in bed you would have time to consider some of your past behaviours. This I feel will only help you to improve.

Me: If you are so helpful why do I feel so worthless, so sad, so ignorant when you are around? Do you really know how low I can feel when you are constantly telling me all my faults?

IC: You make yourself feel that way- I am merely pointing out the truth. It is not my problem that you are so weak.

Me: Maybe this was a bad idea you are never going to listen to me or understand me.

IC: Have you ever thought that maybe you shouldn't listen to me if I upset you so much.

Me How can I ignore you when you are so loud at times.

IC: See this is what I mean you are so weak. You have the power to ignore me, to silence me but all you do is whinge and complain.

Me: I am ending this interview. Enough is enough.

What would you say to your inner critic and what do you want to hear from your inner critic? Maybe you can have a go at interviewing your inner critic.

Quirky

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

The idea of someone looking over my shoulder would freak me as I dislike it when people do that.

Moon, I really hoped your name was Moon. I sometimes forget and type my emails as Quirky and confuse my friends!!

I suppose my IC is in my head not so much a voice but thoughts to undermine me.

Let us know if that note helps.

Quirky

[asdff]

Moonstruck same. I have been told by my psychologist that I have very high standards for myself. When I fall down into a heap, as I do time and time again. I cry why do have to be so perfect? Sometimes I wish I was one of these people who didn't fold thier laundry, who kept their house, their car in a mess. Alas I am not.

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

asdff

That is interesting what younwrite in your post.

I am disorganised and messy , yet I am often annoyed that I am not more .organised and wish I could fold my laundry be neater and more organised like other people.

yet is it the same thing as too high a standard but I am at other end and often feel I am not good enough.?

Quirky

[asdff]

So Quirky perhaps a middle ground? Where we are happy with how we are? I was asked yesterday what would you like for Christmas? My response was baby sitting, I have 7 weeks of school holidays to get through soon. I also thought as I brushed my teeth to not have a mental healt illness. That is not going to happen!!!!!

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

That’s why I started a thread Be Yourself who am ?

People often say be yourself be happy with who you are and the in the next breath they tell you how to change and be calmer, tidier , more organised, more patient etc.

Then my IC adds to the “advice” from others , and the circle continues.

I think practical presents are the best.

Question for everyone. Does your IC apear around Christmas are are you too busy to notice?

Quirky

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

Are you too busy to hear your inner critc.?

Is anyone's inner critic making it hard for them at this time of year as you have to socialise and ,maybe host the family.

Does anyone wonder where 2018 went? My critic is trying to tell me I have done thing this year so I am trying to ignore it. ?

Quirky

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone waves to all,

I often read about people who are struggling with an inner voice that says they are worthless, hopeless or useless, Why don’t we eliminate those words from our vocabulary that is negative and end sin less.

Do you think you could try and we could say look Ic I am not going to listen to your negative words.

I can be wonderful, hopeful and useful.

Whi wants to try?

Quirkyn

[Quercus]

Hi Quirky,

I'll join you and keep on trying to keep the critic inside at bay.

Christmas is a difficult time of year for me too.

It is an easy attack for my critic to target our financial difficulties and the gifts and plans I have organised.

Logically I know what I'm doing is absolutely fine... but emotionally I feel a failure.

What is helping me is making an effort to ignore the advertising and focus on what I feel matter not what everyone else is doing.

[quirkywords]

Hello all

Quercus I am sad that true meaning of. Hristmas has caused lovely kind people like you to be made to feel that are not doing enough as the commercial side has reared its ugly head.

Bah humbug to any inner critic or person who makes anyone feel inadequate at this time.

Peace to all.

Quirky

[Ggrand]

Hello Quirky, Quercus, asdff,

I think it’s about time that the people making these Christmas commercials realises that Christmas can also be a very sad, depressed, stressful, horrid time for a lot of people, and should try and take that into consideration, because not everyone has a Merry Christmas..commercials with happy family gatherings with laughing, opening expensive presents, and being so full of laughter, dressed like their going to some big Christmas function...to me is all false...It pulls me down....I wished the commercial producers and tv stations realise that Christmas also brings sadness to many...

Grandy.