Talking to your inner critic, can it be tamed?

[quirkywords]

Do you have an inner critic ? Have you ever tried to talk to your inner critic. This is what happened when I tried. In my Be yourself thread people asked about how I interviewed my inner critic. So here it is.

This is adapted from a writing exercise to interview your inner critic about one's writing. As my inner critic has an opinion all aspects of my life I decided to broaden the scope of the interview.

Me: I welcome (well I don't really) this opportunity to find out why you always need to have an opinion that is always negative about me and my life.

IC: I thought this was going to be a friendly interchange of ideas but there you go with your anger and hostile remarks. I do not see myself as negative but as helping you, because you do need help.

I am here to help you why can't you see that?

Me: So when I am trying to sleep and you tell me about all my mistakes, embarrassing moments, how does that help me?

IC: I thought while you are in bed you would have time to consider some of your past behaviours. This I feel will only help you to improve.

Me: If you are so helpful why do I feel so worthless, so sad, so ignorant when you are around? Do you really know how low I can feel when you are constantly telling me all my faults?

IC: You make yourself feel that way- I am merely pointing out the truth. It is not my problem that you are so weak.

Me: Maybe this was a bad idea you are never going to listen to me or understand me.

IC: Have you ever thought that maybe you shouldn't listen to me if I upset you so much.

Me How can I ignore you when you are so loud at times.

IC: See this is what I mean you are so weak. You have the power to ignore me, to silence me but all you do is whinge and complain.

Me: I am ending this interview. Enough is enough.

What would you say to your inner critic and what do you want to hear from your inner critic? Maybe you can have a go at interviewing your inner critic.

Quirky

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone

Elizabthe, that is a dilemma that parents face and it is hard and no easier answer.

Is itpossible to set a boundary and help up to a certain point without affecting your own health.Your psych knows you well and the advice is sound. Of course as a parent it is your instinct to rush and help him but as people have said before, if our own health is affected howcan e Eli our children.

I think maybe you can help a bit by being supportive to your DIL, if that does not affect your health too much.

What do you want to do and what are you able to do? For me guilt comes with the role of being a parent .

Quirky

[Elizabeth CP]

I have explained more in my new thread because the issues are not relevant to this thread. My DIL is the problem & expects others to pick up the pieces after things go wrong.

[quirkywords]

Thanks Elizabeth I will check it out.

Quirky

[startingnew]

hey all just a question...

how would you know when to listen to your IC and when to reason/ignore etc with it?

[quirkywords]

Hello all

Great question SN.

For depends on the comment from IC. If it is some thing highly critical and i feel well I will argue. if I am not feeling well I tend to agree which is not a good thing so see this as a sign that I need to really think about the words. Sometimes though I can agree with the idea ithout all the negativity, like I can be impatient but that does not make me a worthless person it just means I can try to be more impatient.

Hope that was not too confusing.

Quirky

[startingnew]

yes thank you Quirky

one of my IC are rather bothersome atm so wondering whether to listen to it. i think its right but im not exactly sure either.

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone

I think knowing when to challenge the inner critic and when to ignore it and when to listen a bit, is tricky. Anyone else have any ideas.

Quirky

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

This morning I have decided to "feed" my inner critic a heap of chocolate and will smother it with love and care, that way I will have a good day and feel a whole lot better about myself.

Woke up feeling like nothing would go right today and I was a total failure! Hang on a minute. I just woke up! Where did all of that come from! I haven't even opened my eyes yet!

Our minds can certainly tell us some whoppers of stories! Inner Critic and all.

I have decided to accept the negative thoughts as being thoughts and have planned out my morning.

I don't have the energy to challenge them today so I have just let the IC be and it is sick of talking to itself without getting my attention. Each day is different I am sure Quirky and SN.

Cheers to all from Dools

[quirkywords]

Mrs DoolsI am smiling at your inner critic somothered in chocolate!!

You are right about not giving the critic attention and that negative thoughts are just thoughts.

I am not a morning person and can wake up in tears over nothing. I have been known through tears mumble to my partner that I am really fine andI am just the tears keep coming.

I agree our minds can lie to us, depression i s a liar and so is the inner critic.

Always like your comments, Mrs Dools.

Quirky

[startingnew]

Morning everyone ❤

Mrs D i love what you wrote. Smother the IC in chocolate. Chocolate fixes everything 😉

Each day is indeed different we just hope its a better day then the last.

I cant remember if its been meantioned or not but Has anyone tried Thought Challanging as an IC exercise?