Talking to your inner critic, can it be tamed?

[quirkywords]

Do you have an inner critic ? Have you ever tried to talk to your inner critic. This is what happened when I tried. In my Be yourself thread people asked about how I interviewed my inner critic. So here it is.

This is adapted from a writing exercise to interview your inner critic about one's writing. As my inner critic has an opinion all aspects of my life I decided to broaden the scope of the interview.

Me: I welcome (well I don't really) this opportunity to find out why you always need to have an opinion that is always negative about me and my life.

IC: I thought this was going to be a friendly interchange of ideas but there you go with your anger and hostile remarks. I do not see myself as negative but as helping you, because you do need help.

I am here to help you why can't you see that?

Me: So when I am trying to sleep and you tell me about all my mistakes, embarrassing moments, how does that help me?

IC: I thought while you are in bed you would have time to consider some of your past behaviours. This I feel will only help you to improve.

Me: If you are so helpful why do I feel so worthless, so sad, so ignorant when you are around? Do you really know how low I can feel when you are constantly telling me all my faults?

IC: You make yourself feel that way- I am merely pointing out the truth. It is not my problem that you are so weak.

Me: Maybe this was a bad idea you are never going to listen to me or understand me.

IC: Have you ever thought that maybe you shouldn't listen to me if I upset you so much.

Me How can I ignore you when you are so loud at times.

IC: See this is what I mean you are so weak. You have the power to ignore me, to silence me but all you do is whinge and complain.

Me: I am ending this interview. Enough is enough.

What would you say to your inner critic and what do you want to hear from your inner critic? Maybe you can have a go at interviewing your inner critic.

Quirky

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone reading

Nat, what a thoughtful response.

What I am saying and I know it sounds weird, because I know I am my inner critic but I feel sometimes that negative critical selfis right amd wonder if others feel the same.

I do know with my friend I am not responsible for her moods and we both want to help each other,

I know being over critical is not healthy but sometimes we are acutely aware of our flaws.

I do know I am not selfish but I really can be absorbed it's my self and do way too ugh navel gazing. Some introspection is needed for my well being but my intense focus on myself can sometimes mean I miss out on spotting others who maybe slipping.

Nat I really admire your insights int o your behaviour and you compassion for others,

I think to soften my inner critic I need to work out whyI am willing to take the blame for things and why I am ready to take criticism without ever questioning it.

Can you one relate to that?

Quirky

[startingnew]

what an interesting topic youve just brought up Quirky

Just curious though about something you said "i feel sometimes that negative critical self is right" can you give an example of when or why you think this?

from memory alot of the posts here (just just yours) focus on not listening to the IC, how we can challange that, talk to it and well not negotitate but switch it up abit and refocus ourselves, sometimes just brushing it off. so before i i comment further just after a little more perspective if you dont mind.

[startingnew]

Hi Moon i was just reading your post, and can relate alot to what youve said about being 'lazy'

ave you considered calling it a self care day? and seeing if that helps tame your IC? just a thought anyway

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

Starting New,

Thanks for your post. In my threads I like to explore all possible ideas and from different perspectives and get its opinion.

I started this thread as I wanted to tame my inner critic.

I have acknowledged that sometimes I think the critic is right. For example when I think I have been to focused on myself and have not noticed how friends are struggling. I agree with critic that I could be a better friend. This does not happen all the time. I have thread on honesty soI am being honest as to how I feel.

I hope that makes it clear and not confuse you more.

Quirky

[startingnew]

Morning Quirky,

yes that does make more sense thank you.

hmm im not too sure i can relate in that ive listened to my IC, ive often had it 'fed' by those around me that my IC is right in saying things like im worthless etc. i cant think of a time right now but will have a think about it.

[quirkywords]

Helllo all

SN

I just keep throwing out ideas on my threads, some will make sense, some make annoy you, some may feel comfortable but I hope they all make people question and think and evaluate.

Of course that does not always happen but I try and I appreciate you support.

Quirky

[startingnew]

keep the ideas/thoughts coming Quirky. it makes for an interesting read even if i have nothing to add. ive been able to relate to quite alot of what everyone has said here and as we are all our own people not everyone will relate to every situation xox

[Elizabeth CP]

The idea of SC being right made me think.

I think we all learn from experience. This includes seeing results of our actions & also comments from others. This past experience feeds our IC. Because many of those experiences occurred decades ago we can't remember them but the IC does. It makes sense that sometimes the IC is right or at least partly right. Unfortunately sometimes the IC is unhelpful.

Maybe we need to question the IC. is the information helpful or nor. What can we do to change. Do we need to change or will that make things worse.

Sorry I'm not expressing myself very well. Just throwing some ideas out.

[quirkywords]

Hello all,

I have noticed in this thread and others that people often say that their comment does not make sense, that they are sorry that they may be taking the thread off topic, that their pot is so confused, or that they are not communicating as well as they want to and many more such comments.

Why do we self doubt so much,why dont we have confidence in what we write? I have never read a post that was not well expressed or contributed to this thread. Is it our inner critic whispers in in our ear that our words are not good enough?

So no more apologies as all post are welcome and add to this thread.

Elizabeth, you write so well and say things that are important..I think questioning the Ic sounds helpful but e need to continually challenge.IC.

Quirky

[Elizabeth CP]

Yesterday I posted after arriving home from holiday. Unfortunately I received a phone call from DIL while at the airport reporting issues with my son's MH. I've been feeling confused & concerned ever since so not thinking as straight as normal. I wrote a new thread on the carers section hoping for advice because I don't know what to do.

My IC tells me I should be doing more to help my son but I'm unsure what to do which leads to guilt. On the other hand my psych has frequently advised me to be very cautious about getting too involved because of the impact on my MH. It is not always easy to know when to listen to the IC & when to ignore it!!!