Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

Lass I hope the migraine has completely gone & you are feeling better.

I'm glad the receptionist at your specialist was so helpful.  Given your concerns about the medication, it is good you can come off it, that must be a relief.  I think western medicine is slowly getting better at looking at other options for treating illnesses.  Yes some holistic/traditional medicine is pure rubbish, but not all of it, modern medicine just lumped it all together as rubbish & then doctors were afraid to explore any of it.  Definitely a case of throwing the baby out with the bath water.  I think there is a growing awareness that while modern medicine has it's place, it is not the be all & end all.  

I spent some time this afternoon watching the fledgling magpie & it's very patient parents.  One of the parents came & drank at my bird bath & then sat for what seemed like ages on the fence post, waiting for junior to put in an appearance.  The youngster's flying has improved by leaps & bounds over the past fortnight.  It can't be far off being fully self sufficient.

Have you given any further thought to doing the meditation classes you mentioned that were during the day in the next town?   Having visiting your housesitting friends & then fluffy cat are nice things to look forward to, but until you can move, it might do you good to have something else on a regular basis to look forward to.

Hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws,

That’s lovely watching the fledgling magpie growing up and the patient parents taking care of the little one. I am very fond of young magpies. There is something delightful about them. It’s nice to know that magpies are another bird benefiting from your bird bath.

I went out early this morning to my favourite ocean place and saw lots of birds. Sooty Oystercatchers were finding snails on the rocks that they then worked to prise open to eat. I had a cute little rusty coloured Southern Emu Wren very close to me at one point. There were two bodyboarders out catching the waves that were pretty dramatic. I’ve never seen anyone try to surf that spot before which is quite treacherous and they had a hard time getting back in. It was really good for me being out early. It really is the best time of the day. I appreciate being here at the moment as Perth is in a week long heatwave of high 30s and low 40s but it’s just lovely here.

There can be good and bad in both alternative and mainstream medicine. Some of it is now converging, especially in regard to understanding the centrality of the gut microbiome in health. The naturopath I go to is very scientific and will only follow what is evidence-based. He’s acting from a stronger evidence base than the doctors I’ve seen. But some other naturopaths do a lot of guess work without a strong evidence base. I like the fact the one I work with is collaborative. He shares research articles with me and I can share articles with him and he is engaged and interested. He genuinely wants to problem solve things which is how my mind works as well. I want to really solve my health issues, not just be issued a standard script and have the door closed on me, which is what it’s felt like in mainstream medical encounters. I’m someone who really wants to heal.

In further checking the website about the meditation classes, I found the one in the day is actually a course of several weeks (one day a week). I’d miss one of them as I’ll be in the city. The other class is in the evening which isn’t ideal regarding the night driving and kangaroos. So I’ll think about that one. There will be various other day things I’m sure. There’s a big noticeboard in that town that’s jam packed with classes, social activities, events etc. I can feel myself really wanting to connect with people at the moment.

Well must go and do my dishes now. Trying to decide whether to be up early for another nature and photographic venture in the morning. I’ve been waking with the sunrise and they have been beautiful 🌅 

I hope you have a good sleep Paws and a lovely day tomorrow.

Hugs,

ER