Social Media

[Steph]

What does everyone think of social media in terms of affecting your anxiety/depression/bipolar etc.? I have been told to cancel my social media pages because my husband told me that he notices I get overly anxious and depressed when I go on facebook. I've started to cut down now because I have noticed it too. It seems so trivial, but its almost taboo NOT to have facebook...you kind of become an outcast!! Thoughts? (Please bear in mind that I acknowledge this is trivial, but I was just interested to hear if anyone else is affected by social media like I am).

Cheers!

[steph01]

Hi Steph,

I really struggle with being consumed by my Facebook account. I need it for university and I also gain more clients for my fitness business but I have become aware that I am using it more regularly then what I would like.  I find that I am on my FaceBook for half an hour or so before I go to sleep and I don't feel relaxed or positive after being on it for too long. 

Thanks for starting this conversation, it has made me consider that spending too much time of Facebook really affects my depressive mood.

Steph  

[HppyCamel]

Hi steph, 

Many have pointed out that social media can be a problem, and I'm not about to disagree with them.

I believe I have quite a problem with checking Facebook way too often, it's currently 6am, I've been awake for a few hours, sick with worry about the coming week, and I have been checking social media on my phone from time to time, among other things such as reading this forum.

I believe that social media can be a good tool, for organizing events, keeping in touch, however I have been seriously considering blocking everyone who is a real person from showing up in my feed, for the very reasons others have pointed out, leaving only the news related pages that follow there.

I don't know if this reply was helpful on a week old thread but this has just been my thoughts on the matter.

[Janice1]

I think social media is definitely a main source of depression and anxiety, especially for teens on Instagram today. I guess most of us realise that Instagram has emerged to become an important marketing tool for companies, especially fashion brands. On Instagram, we are overwhelmed with pictures of beautiful people and luxurious goods. It could be damaging to our mental health if we do not take this issue seriously. I do not think that we can totally unplug from social media. But, as an alternative solution, i think it would be helpful if Instagram users try to reduce the number of strangers they follow on Instagram so that we are not constantly comparing ourselves to whatever we see on the platform. What do you think? 
- JW

[MisterM]

I have been unfriended recently by some Facebook friends and it has gotten me feeling a bit down about it. I am asking myself, am I a bad person or something.
I noticed an old university friend I haven't seen in ages unfriended me but didn't unfriend a mutual friend who he also hasn't seen for the same amount of time.
Also, most recently a fellow artist removed me but kept other artists.
I don't think I am annoying on Facebook, I don't post my every single move like some people do, I might maybe share an article here and there, comment on posts, like stuff.
I don't understand. I wish I could ask these people that unfriended me but it'd come across weird.
I just want to know why people don't like me.
Sorry if that might sound childish, but it's making me question myself, am I stupid, unfunny, irritating, offensive, what is it.

[white knight]

Hi Mister M,

Imagine you and your friends are an apple. You are the skin, they are the apple under the skin and some are the core.

The core are the popular people, they want for little, are always pursued by others for advice and for social events. These "core" people have a close relationship with other core people, other pips. You will never become a core person because you are the skin. A core person isn't interested in a person of the skin...skin people aren't where the fun is, the action is under the skin not with the skin.

This is a metaphor of course but it helps to clarify what we question about others peoples views of us...why we don't fit in. So what's the answer?

The first step is acceptance of ourselves as what we are, fringe dwellers of society. Living on the fringe means we don't/cant fit in naturally with most of the population no matter how hard we try. Once you've accepted yourself as being "quirky" perceptions in your mind about people change. You begin to enter a comfort zone, finally you find happiness. So how do we get there?

Google "famous people with bipolar" or other such questions. You'll find many famous people have had it, or depression and the like. Most of these actors, presidents, prime ministers etc are clever people, talented, some are geniuses. They certainly don't fit the "common" mould. you could look at this fact this way- "oh, I'm one of the abnormal ones" or you can look at it this way "I'm no sheep, I'm unique".

The second step is to review the company you keep. "Ducks of a feather stick together". In our cases others with mental illness (as long as their illness doesn't burden us too much and visa versa) or some that have compassion and try to understand. These are the people we should embrace. Try to compete with those core individuals is futile. Realise that there is a positive in every negative. Even mental illness has positives. Of course there is likely more negatives but to only focus on the positives reaps rewards. It leads to contentment- peace.

The last step is seclusion. It isn't so bad to wind down your Facebook input. Have less club/group attendance, lead the quiet life. The benefits are less chance of our sensitivity being tested usually by those core people identifying an easy target (bullies)

This all leads to a level of self assuredness. This little arrogance is our protection.

We grow a thicker skin. We smile more. We are safer.

Tony WK

[MisterM]

Hi Tony WK,

Thank you heaps for your post.
Not everyone on my facebook knows about my mental illness.
I don't post about it or mention it. So people wouldn't unfriend me for that.
I post about clever things, not where I am eating or if I am doing gym.
I usually post about social issues, political matters, music, my love of the Simpsons.
I can't see what makes some unfriend me.
I am just overly sensitive, always have been and always will.

[white knight]

Hi Mister M

Some of us sure are sensitive.

I wrote an article about this some time ago I think might be worth a look. Google "Depression and sensitivity - a connection? - Beyondblue"

With my wife and I, we had known each other for 25 years before we dated then married. We made a few promises to each other to help us cope with arguments and the like. eg  We knew that having a time limit of being upset was wise. We set it at around 5 minutes. It was a tough call but following our first argument I wa sin a rage and she reminded me about that limit. I cooled quickly in order to fulfil that obligation. It worked. And visa-versa soon after.

So strategies can be put into place to combat our sensitivities, its just hard to maintain those decisions.

Cheers

Tony WK

[Lookingforpeace]

I completely agree that social media can cause anxiety, and it did for me for a while. But it is a part of life now and you may not be willing to delete it as it does provide some form of "connection" to others. In light of that, you need to have your own set of guidelines/reminders so it doesn't make your anxiety worse. For me, they are:

• Know that sometimes what people post is all for show and not their reality. I knew of a couple who used to post lovey dovey stuff about each other all the time and it made me feel so bad as I was having relationship issues at the time. Well I just found out they are getting a divorce!! Rule 1 - it's not real
• limit your usage time. I have recently stopped going on during work hours. Sure I might occasionally break the rule and hop on but I TRY not to. What that means is that when I do go on I am just scrolling through a whole days worth of stuff pretty quickly without really absorbing anything
• use it for good not evil. There are some positives with Facebook. I have reconnected with two old school colleagues because of Facebook who are now my closest friends. I use it to keep up to date with events and friends holiday snaps, I share cute photos of my dog, and tag friends/my husband in funny clips and memes
• Dont stalk your ex. I am still getting the hang of this one hehe

 good luck!​

[MisterM]

Thanks Tony. I found and replied to your thread.

[MisterM]

I just got unfriended again.
My day goes from bad to worse.
I haven't posted anything on my wall to upset anyone.
I commented in reply to a post this person made and she unfriended me, because of that I assume.
All I commented was ''me too'' to sympathise with her not sleeping well.
I can only assume it was because of that, she has like 900 ''friends'' so it's definitely not a cull.
Am I so horrible as a person, that someone I recently met on a musicians page and added got rid of me within a week. I feel so down about this, no one likes me 😞