Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill

[white knight]

In my 20's (I'm 66yo), I sought to be a hermit. It didnt work out, but it was a reflection of my desperation to leave society. I needed peace. Once I went from Melbourne to the Otway ranges, pitched a tent in the dark and woke up the next morning and my view was of a pine forest with timber workers along with the noise. I lost all hope of silence and tears fell.

Since then I've lived in the country mainly in small towns with the hope of a quiet lifestyle. I've learned however that where ever people are there is noise and holidays bring the dirt motorcycles and that rat-a-tat-tat all day. Most are on towns outskirts but some in the town itself on small blocks. These (often) city people if asked if they would like that noise next to them where they live they dont associate their city block with the same sized country block - odd.

Three years ago we found the balance. A town of about 4000 people. That size town usually has a hospital with after hours treatment, at least one large supermarket, medical services, vet and other services. It also has bylaws prohibiting such recreational vehicles within the town boundary. While building our kit house ourselves we resided in a caravan on the land and realised it was a quiet street not used as a through road for traffic and luckily quiet neighbours. We installed double glazed windows. We stumbled on the best mix. 

Quietness is among the major needs of the mentally unwell and if loud and consistent enough will hinder recovery. It also can interrupt meditation periods. So my philosophy is "if you can't beat them... get away from them. 

Any ideas on seeking a quiet life?

TonyWK 

[Eagle Ray]

Hi Tony

I very much relate to your post. I love “If you can’t beat them, get away from them”.

Since a child I’ve been hypersensitive to noise. We’d visit a relative’s farm once a year and other occasional country trips. On returning to the city my whole body would tense in response to traffic, noise, air pollution and the increasing presence of concrete, bitumen, building density etc. It was literally physiological overwhelm and I seemed to be the sensitive one in my family who longed to return to open spaces, greenery and peace and quiet. I really wasn’t going well as a child, so I think my nervous system knew it desperately needed the healing of a quiet life.

There is a practice in Japan called forest bathing - shinrin-yoku. Scientists have studied the effects on humans of being immersed in a forest environment. Literally it has been found to have multiple health benefits, including helping with immunity. It has positive effects on the lungs, heart and blood pressure, as well as mental well being.

I’m glad you’ve managed to find the right balance generally for a peaceful life, even if the dirt bikes etc are about at times. They are driven on the trails around my town too. But I find the ratio of that noise to the amount of peace I get is still vastly different to the city. Right now I can hear the breeze, cicadas and the hum of my fridge. I wouldn’t swap the relative peace I have now for the world and I know it is core to my recovery.

In terms of seeking a quiet life, I think it’s making a conscious decision like you have to find the level of quiet you need. For me, it also involves driving to favourite locations where I can immerse myself in nature, including rocky hills, the river, beaches etc. I’m lucky to live with a few options around me.

By leaving the city I’ve left behind higher paid job opportunities and city-based social activities but I don’t miss those things. I’m looking for just a simple job right now and that’s enough for me. I think valuing the simple things, along with slowing down, is also part of the blessing of a quiet life. A nice cup of tea while watching birds in my garden is the meaning of life to me.

[white knight]

Hi Eagle Ray

We're on the same page.

I have a bird feeder and put out canary seed twice a week.

We are also 35 minutes from a quiet beach or two. Heaven

TonyWK

[Guest_1584]

Hi Tony and ER.

Just first up , the forest study ER. You know, boggles the mind at the studies they do now and if it was anyone else bar Japan, l'd laugh it out of the water . Just for the fact that humans and modern living have become so disassociated from nature , that they actually need a study just to tell them how important and incredibly beneficial it is. Just sad isn't it.

Anyway , thanks for the thread Tony , always inspired seeing your experiences . Those bikes would've been maddening. We use to be riding through the bush - horses, with nothing but sounds of hooves the houses breathing, birds and nature but then , boom. Out of no where come 10 screaming dirt bikes.

Peacefulness yeah, you bet. l grew up in Melbourne left 20yrs ago and when l go back now ER summed it up. But it's 20x busier now than when l left and the traffic and trucks l dunno, are humans really meant to live like that , not this one anyway. l find it so overwhelming now when l'm finally back on the why outa there it's a 1hr40 stretch until l begin to feel safe and peace again and l can never wait. There's one turn of that l reach and when l do ahhh, l'm coming home.

l loved loud music grew up on it and for yrs after and l didn't mind hustle and bustle and life around, people but these days l can't deal with it.

My place here is the last house of town with 3000 ac cross the road. Fog and beautiful air roll across from that land and all over my place and the town, no words.

6yrs at this house and l still go out to look from the porch early morning or late at night or any chance l get even for just a few minutes, just to soak it in or walk on the grass or around my new trees.

That's my peace.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hi Tony and randomx 

It’s nice to read both your accounts of a peaceful life.

I’m glad you have the birds and beaches too Tony.

Randomx what you describe with the fog reminds me of something I experience here. Sometimes, often when it’s fairly still, a sea fog will just gently role over the land. It will come in through open windows and doors as this incredibly fresh air that feels as pure as air could possibly be. It’s like a cleansing tonic. There’s a sudden temperature difference and you can feel it on your skin. When you say “no words” I know what you mean.

And I also really get what you’re saying about leaving the city and that feeling of a shift in yourself once you’re a certain distance out of it. It’s like the feeling of being able to breathe easy again and tension and stress felt in the city just falls away. It’s freedom! And it’s so good you get to soak in all the goodness of your home and surroundings.

[white knight]

I was only 25yo when I made the transition from a negative to a positive person-

30 minutes can change your life - Beyond Blue Forums - 154525

Soon after I met a neighbour that introduced me to guru Prem Rawat "Maharaji". So I took my favourite video of his to a nearby hill and proceeded to watch the sunset. I remained still for 2 hours on a large rock when a wild bird landed on my shoulder then flew away. Uncontrollable but beautiful tears.

Maharaji: Sunset - YouTube

Then I returned home to read more, an amazing man with the connection I needed.

PREM RAWAT -"When You See A Sunset"- Excerpts from Current Talks: 2003. (wordpaint.com)

I learned there was beauty all around.

TonyWK

[Eagle Ray]

That’s beautiful about viewing the sunset Tony.

On the topic of moving from negativity to positivity, I’ve read a bit by the psychologist Rick Hanson on the human tendency towards a negativity bias. He describes how it’s like we have Velcro for the bad experiences and Teflon for the good ones. We tend to a remember a single bad thing that happened during the day even though we may have had several good experiences that day. He describes this as a kind of innate survival response to remember the bad thing as we don’t want it to happen again and to be able to avoid it in the future. But that through things like mindfulness meditation and gratitude we can enhance our positivity and counter negativity bias. I think just being immersed in nature and peaceful places can really help in that process.

[white knight]

Velcro and Teflon... love those metaphors. In fact metaphors help clarify what can be confusing to us. I can think of depression that people suffer and struggle to make meaning of it.

Depression...a ship on the high seas - Beyond Blue Forums - 67373

When I swapped negative to positive some 40 years ago now (sheesh), I also had to accept that being depressed wasnt included in the transformation but coming out of depression when I was much better and not motivating myself, was indeed negative.

Depression and the timing of motivation - Beyond Blue Forums - 149708

Focusing on a bad event to prevent further bad events is so interesting.

TonyWK

[Guest_1584]

Hi Tony and Er

Those ocean mists are incredible , so magical l know exactly what your talking about ER . We use to live in a beach house just loved being out on the deck and watching it , feeling it, roll through the town.

And yeah leaving the city, exactly, beautiful freedom again exactly as you describe. Only when l reach that 1hr 30-40 mark and make that turn off do l feel it. With a good run some evenings l sometimes get there even sooner, an hr 10-20. But l'm way too flustered and worn out to rush it by then so l get there when l get there but when l do, ahhhhh.

And sunsets , yeah. They have another so special all their own feel again don't they and l just adore the feeling of the day coming to a close into darkness and peace.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hi Tony and RX

I can really relate to both of those posts you linked to Tony. I loved the metaphor of the ship. I often feel I’m lost at sea, regain some direction from a rudder and orientation from a map, only to get somewhat lost again. But I do feel less rudderless and mapless than in the past and feel like I’m making the odd sojourn back onto land. In fact, I think I was born on a ship at sea, so the land is pretty alien but I’m trying to get to know it and it’s becoming more familiar.

And the post on the timing of motivation feels very relevant to me right now. I struggle on the fence between knowing when I’m biting off more than I can chew (attempting motivation) or whether at times I really need much more rest and recovery. I try to listen to my body for the answer. I have friends coming to stay tomorrow and I’m in a vulnerable spot at the moment. I wondered if I should ask them not to come or motivate myself to have guests. But they are the kind of friends I can burst into tears in front of and they’d be fine or cook them just a basic meal and they’ll appreciate it. There’s others I know it isn’t possible to be safely vulnerable with. So think it will be all ok.

And RX I love your description of the close into darkness and peace. I have a favourite rocky hill I like to watch the sunset from. Quite often I’ve stayed into nightfall when the stars are coming out. I just love it.