Minimalism and creating a peaceful space

[Clues_Of_Blue]

My parents are both hopeless hoarders. When I first moved out of Mum's house many moons ago, I marvelled at how much space I had in my tiny little unit. It was a new experience and I loved it. Even so, with me not being inclined to take up the torch of the hoarder, I managed to accumulate a lot. Sentimental bits from my younger days, gifts, free stuff I thought I was just too poor to say no to - could need it later, and not be able to afford it, right? There were also bills and sensitive documents I just didn't know what to do with, and boy do they pile up over the years! And worst of all, relationships - when you live with someone, they bring in their own lifetime of clutter, oftentimes leaving a whole bunch of it behind when they leave. And again related to being poor, if any money came my way I wanted to treat myself. A book, or an article of clothing was often the go to. Guess who had a bunch of books she never read and clothes that didn't get worn.

When I parted ways with my most recent ex, he left an extraordinary tonne of junk behind. I made it my mission to get rid of it, and along with it anything of my own I didn't want any more. I had gifts I neither used or particularly liked, boxes of books I bought with the thought I should get them while I had money to read when I didn't (they moved - along with the sensitive documents - from house to house in boxes that never got opened), even clothes from when I was a teenager (those suckers never gonna fit again, and they sure aren't in style any more). In the course of trying to find more and better ways to pare down all this stuff sucking the life out of me, I discovered there were a whole heap of other people who thought like me and wanted what I wanted. Minimalists. There are articles and blogs and tonnes of inspiration out there, and they helped me immensely.

I've been on the journey for a bit over four years, and it took most of that time to get my home how I want it. But now I can easily find things I want to use and don't have to clean, organise or maintain half as much stuff. I don't feel compelled to buy things on a whim or to feel good, because I just don't need them - I'm actually repelled by the idea of having more objects around me. I now have much more time and space and peace. I thought that worth sharing. What a fantastic tool it's been for looking after my mental health!

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hey EM,

Frustration and anger to get stuff out? Oh yeah, I know it well! Mind you, we ADHDers are intense critters. I sense some hyperfocus in you, just like I had early in my minimising journey. I can't say there was no malice in my removal of objects. I wanted them gone!

Oh yeah, when there is stuff everywhere and you have to move from place to place to organise/manage it, that's ripe for ADHD forgetfulness. As soon as you take something to another room, or have to go get something, you're off on another task. So familiar.

Definitely have 2 bin bags or however many you need when you settle in to work on a spot (you might need more if you're separating stuff to give the op shop vs specific people, or if you're going to sell anything - heck, bring a roll of bags if you need to, so you don't have to leave the room when a new category comes up). If I have more than a few things in an area to declutter, that's what I do.

Yeah, I got a lot of triggers early on, unfortunately it's not wholly avoidable. But the weight lifted off you when that stuff is gone, oh boy. Worth it.

I hear you about getting worn out by the usual run of jobs when you get home. Can you delegate any jobs, or do a big batch of cooking one day so you can skip making dinner one night and work on your bedroom instead? Just a thought.

Blue.

[ecomama]

Hi Blue, thankyou, that's a good idea taking a roll of bags IN so I don't have to leave - until I have to.  

Tbh I'm in a mental state of overwhelm atm. Cup overflowing, spewing out everywhere overwhelm. Chest pains etc. I've cried more in the last 10 days than prob the last 18 months. 
I think I'll have to set a timer for 5 mins at a time to declutter. Doing longer if I'm "ok". Increasing to 10 mins if I can cope. It's not just dcing. It's everything getting on top of me. 

Mingling other threads, it's taken for you to open my eyes to needing creativity. Other ppl have said it but I had too much to do to consider it. I still do sadly. Hopefully we can talk more about that on other threads? 

I can't put any more on my kids. They're all studying + working and some working FT + study.
If they can clean their rooms and take responsibility for that area, which they still need my help with at times, then I'd be the first mum of teens to achieve this in my circle of friends at least lol! (Almost ALL of my friends have teens that refuse to work at all. Won't study. Would never clean their rooms in a pink fit - it's a thing!)

Can't do meals that way for the kids, they'd puke. VERY fussy eaters, but eating which is a good thing. 

My goal = 5 mins decluttering my room at a time. 

EMxxxx

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hey EM,

I wish I could give you a hug, you sound so spent. I really do understand. Better than most, I expect. My mum has this big thing about being "a human being, not a human doing". She takes that a bit too far, of course, but I say it because people like you and I focus so heavily sometimes on achieving our goals we fail to stop and give ourselves time to be. If you can only do 5 mins on decluttering, that is okay. I know you feel like there is just too much to do, but maybe you could match it with 5 minutes of quiet time? A moment for stillness (minimising activity - see, it's thread relevant!) will help you feel less overwhelmed and ultimately be able to do more of what you need to do. Just a thought.

I'm glad you can see my point about creativity - maybe it hits home more from me because we are so similar in many ways. I'll happily talk on that here or wherever. It's relevant here, as minimising stuff makes room for what matters. In this case, it's creativity. Maybe think on an unimportant use of time you could cut out to make room for some creativity, or even how to work creativity into the things you have to do? Maybe put on a podcast about something creative you want to engage with while you're making dinner, or doodle stick-figures of your chickens when you sit with them. It doesn't have to be good, it just has to engage you in a positive way.

Hm, I wonder about the fussy eating. Sensitivity to textures and tastes and stuff can be connected to autism. You've mentioned some of them may be on the spectrum.

Good goal, 5 minutes.

You'd be proud, EM, we finally gave the stuff for eBay to our friend - I made sure we put it at the door when he arrived. In finding it, we also went through a big box of LM's stuff from his previous abode (that's been on hold for a while, with everything going on). I put some stuff in my car for the op shop, and even read a book I borrowed from my sister ages ago, so I can give it back. It was about autism in women, interestingly I ticked a lot more diagnostic boxes in that than in anything I'd read online. Hmm.

Blue.

[ecomama]

Hey Blue, thanku. Aha sensitivities. Definitely for all of us with clothing, definitely types of socks! Underwear. Foods, drinks. 
Then there's the past for all of us. Yvette only told me last week what d would say to (scream at) them & make them eat while I was at work. It made me SO UPSET. 

I hate cruelty to children, animals, vulnerable ppl. 

I'm ALREADY proud of you lol! That's fantastic movement over at yours. I'm glad your friend took your stuff to sell & I'm glad it's OUT. Well done!
Ok are you ready? 

The kids ate dinner, went to FUTSAL. 
I cleaned up & prepped for lunches tomorrow. FOOD is a huge thing atm as I've been making so much from scratch for months to save money. Much work, much cleaning. 

Drum roll... lol... omg I FINISHED MY SHOES! I can barely believe it. I had SO MANY more pairs than I even knew. 2 garbage bags for Charity. 2 smaller bags of rubbish. 

A while back we found these flat packs of something or other. The kids & I constructed them all & wondered WHAT they were? Around 50 of them. Then later on we saw them somewhere & found out they're SHOE boxes.  
I used 10 small ones to stack out of season shoes. (Remember I threw out one wardrobe in the Council pick up so clothing & shoes have been everywhere). Then I cleaned the IN season shoes & arranged them neatly inside the wardrobe. 

Done. 
I used the timer for 5 mins 3 x then just pressed Cancel and kept going. 

I even mopped my floors! yuck dust and crap. 

Thx for the support! 
EMxxxx

[ecomama]

Another day off work, upset tummy still. 

After the necessities are done I'd like to bring up the awesome chair I found on the side of the road. 
It's going in my bedroom where the pile of shoes were. It's a beautiful chair. I've already cleaned it. 

Then all the clothing on my bed, from the discarded wardrobe, is going on that chair. I need to minimise more clothing and sort through ALL the spaces to give away. I threw out 4 pairs of socks when I woke up. 

We found blankets & sleeping bags surplus to our needs. ACs didn't want them so off to Charity they go.
Kept some sleeping bags, packed them away. Blankets to use for guests have been washed and we have a place for them too. (The kids have LOTS of friends sleeping over usually weekly). 

BIG decision made yay! We're offing the single bed frame and 2 mattresses (next Council pick up or Freecycle? IDK). Keeping 1 camp mattress + a single mattress. 
We're moving my L shaped lounge to the downstairs "loungeroom" which isn't there yet lol. This will provide extra sleep over space for 2 -3 friends. 

The hard stuff yet to do. Joining the FB sites to sell / give away stuff (triggering territory for me, I've given myself a month to join). Last weekend I FINALLY got support to link my Messages App to my incognito FB page.

Getting "there" slowly but bit by bit is fine by me. 

Running late feeding the chickens, I can hear them complaining! 

Love EM 

[ecomama]

Hey BB, 

Well my adventures way down the back yard today was surprising lol. Oh ADHD, forgetting so much. So for the next Council pick up we're adding the rusting old pool ladders, ugh. 
Not sure what I can do with ALL the garden wire. I didn't buy any of it, tho have used so much of it over the years. It's gotta go by next year. Freecycle or a FB gardening group, it's very difficult to take to the metal recyclers BUT I can take a bit each trip I go there. 

My bed is CLEARED but the clothes are on 2 chairs atm. Took around 10 pieces of clothing for Charity but there'll be tons more. 
My "new" chair will take a LOT of people to move upstairs to my bedroom. We worked that out today. We have to hoist it over the balcony! Minimum 4 BIG people needed. 
BUT it's a chair I've wanted for forever. Sells for up to $2,500 and that's too much for me. When I saw it, I stopped the car and struggled to put it in. 
Seriously, ppl around here throw the most amazing stuff out. It's embarrassing. 

Cleaned out some stuff off my balcony. I can SEE the arrangement of furniture and possibly planters from my garden that I'd like to try next. Keeping the BBQ up here will help to cook outside during Spring. It's too hot during Summer most of the time. 

We're still in the overwhelm stage of too much stuff but all I can do is keep focused with my 5 min plus timer lol. 

Love EM

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Can't reply to all in one post, but will do my best. I hear ya about socks and undies. Wish they made undies bum shaped, dunno why they are all designed to go right between the cheeks, grr! Hard to find comfy stuff. Ugh, I can imagine the triggers with eating for your kids, can't blame them for having trouble. I agree about cruelty. Weak, insecure people are cruel, and make themselves worse for being that way.

Thanks, I'm glad the stuff is out, too. Next to give him will be the deposit bottles. This guy is a champ (he was  best man at our wedding).

Woo-hoo, you did the shoes! Go you! And around all that food prep, I know the hard work that comes with saving pennies. You're doing great (don't forget to rest, though).

I'm glad you got the special chair you wanted, one good thing in for all the many things you don't need that have gone and will go out. Perfect.

Can't detail everything, but I see your progress and your hard work. I see the challenge you have with triggers - always willing to listen when you need. I know this work is a lot to take on board, but I also see your enthusiasm and the benefit you're getting from it. Very happy and proud.

Blue.

[ecomama]

Hey Blue and others reading, 

That guy does sound like a champ lol, what a great friend - Best Man for sure lol! Great to get the stuff to sell out AND containers, go you all the time lol. 

Aha the shoes, still can't get over how EASY it is to deal with them now. Quite a strange feeling. 

Will try to see if the new light shade works today, have a sneaking suspicion it won't, but I'll take it back on Sunday if it doesn't. 
Also clean out a "bedside table", get rid of stuff or re-allocate rooms for stuff we're keeping. 

Re: Photos in my room. Got a big tub for the framed photos I'm yet to decide upon HOW to store. They can go into the pile of stuff for the envisaged Craft Room. 

One aim is just to get stuff OUT of my room that doesn't belong there. Wherever it goes will yet to be seen. 

Still TONS of clothing to go thru. 

Loungeroom has accumulated, will pack some stuff up there too. Not sure when, but soon. 

Thanks for the support! 
Very proud of you too lol
Love EM

[ecomama]

Hey Blue and all others reading.... 

I should be back at work soon, so my posts will decrease significantly then! 

Was able to do lots more "Minimising" today lol. Surprised myself actually. Didn't need a timer for it either, I'll use that strategy when / if things get tough again. 

~ emptied the bedside table... I love this piece of furniture and probably will keep it in my b/room. It's EMPTY! I cleaned it. It needs refinishing but looks rustic the way it is, 
~ went thru some more clothes to give away, 

~ bagged up stuff to sell, 

~ recycled ALL magazines from the balcony, 
~ removed some unwanted furniture from the balcony also,

~ took more bulky things downstairs to our online selling "loading zone" lol. Hope it goes! 
~ brought up metal for the recyclers from way down the back. Am bringing up some thing each time I visit the chicken coop. This stuff is either large rubbish pieces or recycling of some type. 

A side effect is the sneezing! Stirring up a lot of dust doing this lol. 
Happy to be able to mop my bedroom floors so much more. 

Love EM

[ecomama]

Hey Minimalism crew! Hey Commander Blue -LM lol. 

Still on the journey! 

I took the huge bulky, rectangular thick cane laundry basket out of my room and had no idea what to do for a laundry basket in my room then. I am holding back on buying ANY THING unless it's absolutely necessary of I happen to be in the shops and SEE something for a great price that we need. 
I found a small washing basket, that was my Nanna's actually lol. It fits perfectly UNDER my KS bed. I can slide it out, pop some things in and slide it back or take it straight to the laundry. 

I cleared everything out from under my bed. 
I put back what I want there, the wooden step, the basket. 
When I turn my bed the whole way around to the other wall - later on, I might put some out of season clothes in topped tubs under there, IDK, we'll see. 

I DID put my new light shade up on my bare light bulb yesterday which was a huge achievement lol. It fits but I'm not happy that it's totally electrically safe as it is. BF will fix this issue when he comes. 

Will do what I can when I can. But for now I need rest. 

How are you doing on your M Journey? 

EM