Minimalism and creating a peaceful space

[Clues_Of_Blue]

My parents are both hopeless hoarders. When I first moved out of Mum's house many moons ago, I marvelled at how much space I had in my tiny little unit. It was a new experience and I loved it. Even so, with me not being inclined to take up the torch of the hoarder, I managed to accumulate a lot. Sentimental bits from my younger days, gifts, free stuff I thought I was just too poor to say no to - could need it later, and not be able to afford it, right? There were also bills and sensitive documents I just didn't know what to do with, and boy do they pile up over the years! And worst of all, relationships - when you live with someone, they bring in their own lifetime of clutter, oftentimes leaving a whole bunch of it behind when they leave. And again related to being poor, if any money came my way I wanted to treat myself. A book, or an article of clothing was often the go to. Guess who had a bunch of books she never read and clothes that didn't get worn.

When I parted ways with my most recent ex, he left an extraordinary tonne of junk behind. I made it my mission to get rid of it, and along with it anything of my own I didn't want any more. I had gifts I neither used or particularly liked, boxes of books I bought with the thought I should get them while I had money to read when I didn't (they moved - along with the sensitive documents - from house to house in boxes that never got opened), even clothes from when I was a teenager (those suckers never gonna fit again, and they sure aren't in style any more). In the course of trying to find more and better ways to pare down all this stuff sucking the life out of me, I discovered there were a whole heap of other people who thought like me and wanted what I wanted. Minimalists. There are articles and blogs and tonnes of inspiration out there, and they helped me immensely.

I've been on the journey for a bit over four years, and it took most of that time to get my home how I want it. But now I can easily find things I want to use and don't have to clean, organise or maintain half as much stuff. I don't feel compelled to buy things on a whim or to feel good, because I just don't need them - I'm actually repelled by the idea of having more objects around me. I now have much more time and space and peace. I thought that worth sharing. What a fantastic tool it's been for looking after my mental health!

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hey Jojo,

I can certainly relate to lying awake with a head full of ideas. Have you tried meditating at night? It's good to declutter the mind as well as the home. 😉

Another good day of decluttering, you're doing well. When I first started, I had a lot of excess clothes, too. Off they went to the op shop. As you get down to things you're not sure about keeping, a good trick with your wardrobe is to turn the hangers all the opposite way to how you keep them normally. When you wear an item, turn the hanger back the right way when you return it to the wardrobe. Whatever is facing the wrong way at the end of whatever period of time you set (let's say 3 months), you probably don't need. Of course a longer period on seasonal things, perhaps best not to ditch your overcoat because you didn't wear it in Summer.

Great to see the positive energy this is giving you. It's a bit of a boost for me, too, that my knowledge is useful to someone. Methinks my family are sick of hearing about minimalism, haha.

Blue.

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Just popping in to revive this old thread, as requested. Inviting all to come along and shere your experiences or tips about minimising, or ask advice if you need some. I've been doing it for some years, now. It's an ongoing journey, to keep unimportant things out of my life so I can focus on what is important, and to stop junk flowing into my home. There are a few tips above on that. Feel free to add more or ask any questions.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Blue's Clues,

Ohh thank you for reviving this thread. I'm surprised I didn't see this one before.

What you went through resonated with me. I thought as a kid we had a 'normal' amount of stuff until I went to live at other peoples places, and that's when I knew it was a little more than normal! I never thought of it as hoarding because it never looked like those tv documentaries, but I see it now for what it is. I've always been very conscious of not building up or having too many things. Do you ever get the feeling of 'not wanting to be like that'? Or does it all just come naturally to you now?

As for advice, I think it would be really helpful to me to know that I can always get on top of things, and my house doesn't have to get to the point where it feels overwhelming to tackle so I don't worry about it - just the idea of that makes me anxious? So yeah would love your perspective on that.

Also gifts - I do have a big box of wonderful truly sentimental things, but some of the people who buy me things don't want to buy gift cards and don't live close enough to have dinner with me! So if you can help me think of ideas that would be good 🙂

Thank you!

rt

[CazzaA]

I love magazines but have found that they do accumulate, especially the cooking magazines that I loke, there is always that recipe I want to keep. So now I download mags and keep it to a minimal subscription, I can then delete as I am finished with them or archive so I can return to them on my tablet. I have also started to photograph recipes I do like and therefore may not need the rest of the mag at all. This has helped a lot.

[Guest_1643]

this is a great thread --- thank you so much for starting it

some had been speaking about minamilsm on another thead- and this is so major in terms of mental health

I also grew up with hoarder parents. It was pretty scary. We had this bungalow in our backyard which my parents used to just pile junk. You couldn't see the floor. I still feel tormented when I think about it. I probably also though this was normal - having an entire bungalow to fill floor to ceiling with junk....

I struggle a lot with papers, never sort them and they just pile up. I don't hae a desk but maybe i could get one and store papers in there. I never want to throw them out in case I need it later!

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hi again RT,

You're welcome. 🙂

It's quite eye-opening when you realise, isn't it? You asked "Do you ever get the feeling of 'not wanting to be like that'? Or does it all just come naturally to you now?". The answer is, both. For the most part I naturally just clear away clutter before it gets out of hand, but still when I visit either of my parents I come home with an intense desire to clean and declutter. I still manage to find things to get rid of! So help me I don't want to live like they do.

There are a few things I can suggest for feeling more confident that your house doesn't have to get out of hand with clutter. For one thing, remember past successes - times you have gotten on top of it before. You can do it, and you have. The other thing, and this is one I took a while to get a handle on, is stopping the flow of stuff coming into the house in the first place. A few suggestions for that:

- If you don't have one, put a "no junk mail" sign on your letterbox.

- If you have paper bills coming in, contact your providers and ask for them to be e-mailed. Most companies have a website listed on the bills, to set that up online. You'll also save money, as companies usually charge extra for sending a paper bill. For those bills you can't get e-mailed, have a specific folder to put them in.

- When you get your mail, put the envelopes straight into the recycling and have a place to put important mail when you're done with it, it just feels bad having it on the kitchen bench!

- If you have family that really don't want to do gift cards and can't do dinner, ask for practical things or fun consumables. Maybe help with a bill or an appliance you need to replace. If you drink, a bottle of wine/spirit/etc. Food things that won't spoil quickly like chocolate, or dried fruits and nuts if you're trying to be healthy. Heck, maybe even flowers - they'll take up some space, but they're beautiful and won't be there forever. All of those things can be ordered from afar and delivered to you if it's not practical to post them directly.

Hope that helps. 🙂

Blue.

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hi Cazza,

That's a really good tip, and something I do, myself. Was never big on magazines, but I do love to cook and collect recipes, so I often download or take pictures of them, only printing out my regularly used favourites for a folder in the kitchen. I've recently heard of an app called Paprika, for downloading and managing recipes, might be worth having a look.

Blue.

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hey there Sleepy,

Thanks, and you're welcome. Glad you could drop in.

I agree that minimalism is a big thing for mental health - at least, it has been for me. That bungalow sounds awfully unappealing, albeit not wholly unfamiliar. Dad is a collector, so at least his stuff is organised. Mum, not so much. There would always be bags and bags of stuff, and boxes, all disorderly and covered in dust. A lot of it was paperwork, so I have a real hate relationship with paperwork - though I too struggled to deal with mine. Mostly because I was worried about my privacy in throwing it out.

I don't wanna bust your chops, Sleepy, but it sounds like you might need to do what I did - turn around and just tackle the pile. I got a bunch of those big storage boxes so I could at least separate it into manageable amounts. They aren't cheap, so banana boxes from your local supermarket would be the free alternative, they're generally happy to give them to you. I put mine in the shed, so it wasn't cluttering up my house and I could just bring out what I could manage at any given time.

- Start with sorting things into piles. If you have personal stuff that you genuinely want to keep, maybe get a nice storage box for that.

- Then there will be things you have to keep, like tax info - that generally has to be around for 7 years. A box marked "tax" or a big folder should do the trick, and there won't be as much as you think, just income statements and receipts for deductible items. Sort it into years, so each year you can revisit and ditch anything over 7 years old.

- All those old bills and receipts! Most of these you don't need to keep. If you have receipts with warranties for expensive items, pop them in the tax box for now or get a folder for current finances. But unless you paid cash, you'll have bank statements you can access online that prove you paid your phone bill, your power bill and so on - if not, a year is long enough to keep these. If you have a shredder, shred them. If you don't have one and can afford one, get one, or if you have the option of burning them in a fireplace, barbecue or bonfire, do so.

- Once this is done, get into the habit of sorting, storing or shredding paperwork regularly, so you don't find yourself in the same position. This has been a huge thing for my mental health, I never want to deal with a pile like that again!

Hope that helps.

Blue.

[ecomama]

Awww thanks Blue for reviving your thread!

I read back a few posts and the way I tackle "paperwork" is exactly the same as you in many ways.
I say to myself "do it now" otherwise I've been known to panic over what's INSIDE the letter and leave it for ages. Less to panic over anyway lately.

So, I stand AT the recycling bin in my kitchen and open and throw, open and throw.
Keep. Pile it.
When I've been strapped for cash, I put the bill in my phone calendar and pay ON THE DAY lol.
(I prefer paper bills, saves me printing out heaps for tax returns).

Now I pay it the night I open it.
I feel REALLY good with it BEHIND me....

That's what I keep a hold of in my mind.... having it "BEHIND me".

With "old" paperwork (and indeed I do have to keep some).
I say to myself "JUST 3 a day"... it's an inhouse joke really, because it could mean 3 bits of paper or 3 files OR 3 drawers per day.
But if it's 3 bits of paper then I'M A CHAMPION lol...

With the kids, I say "Your room looks like it could need a little help, on Saturday, do you want to put 20 mins on the clock and we'll get stuck in for 20?"
I never put it on them to do it immediately, trauma responses are rife in our home, so no.

I literally let them put 20 mins on the clock when they're ready. The timer's set, let's go!

Giving them a DAY and a time LIMIT and HELP is really empowering for them.
9 times out of 10 they take that help and run with it for the rest of the day or until they have to go to work.
I just helped for 20 mins.

But we have garbage bags ready and I write on the outside what they're for:
* garbage
* GIVE TO _______ (bec we know families who need our hand me down clothes and shoes)
* give away to Op shops.
* STORE. Must be labelled in a clip lid box with NAME of child and contents. Mostly special things they want to keep. I never veto this (calming trauma responses and "safety" here too).

We also have a "worm farm" pile lol, for any ripped and torn clothing beyond repair - our worms eat them 🙂 Even JEANS!

My mother wasn't a hoarder until we lost our home to a fire. It got progressively worse but now her home is unable to be lived in.
My father was a hoarder but like yours RT.

Fine line between hoarding and keeping or storing things that bring precious memories.

Love EM

[quirkywords]

Blues clues

just found this thread and am pleased.

I am in adifferent position to most in test lost all my possessions in a bushfire on NYE 2019 so I went from a cluttered to minimalist in a few hrs.

I was given clothes and acquired things and have to know what is healthy buying as therapy and when to stop.

i