Merry and Bright or Bah Humbug, how do you feel about the holidays?

[Summer Rose]

As the old saying goes, Christmas comes but once a year, and judging by my trip to the mall today it has well and truly arrived. Crowds of shoppers, bustling about, looking for the perfect gift. Not all of us here on the forum celebrate Christmas but I doubt than any of us can ignore it.

The advertisers tell us this is the best time of the year. A chance to enjoy the good things in life, spend time with the family and generally eat, drink and be merry. But this simply isn't the case for everyone. The holiday and its associated activities (e.g. shopping, cooking, travelling, etc) triggers stress, sadness and depression for a lot of people. I'm one of them.

Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, kids and Australian family and friends and I will no doubt enjoy the holidays. But for me, Christmas is always tinged with a hefty dose of sadness, which I carry inside and try to hide. This is because my mum, my sister and her family and all of my extended family live overseas. I've lived in Australia for some 30 years and you'd think I'd be used to this by now but I'm not.

So, I'm wondering how Christmas affects you? Are you looking forward to the holiday, feeling stressed or feeling left out because it's not something you participate in? What are your strategies for protecting your mental health this festive season?

[Summer Rose]

Hi Nezus

So nice of you to join the thread. Welcome.

I understand that Christmas doesn't excite you and I want you to know that you are not alone. I sm sorry that you feel stressed and my Christmas wish for you is peace.

Peace of mind, peace of heart and peace of soul. Take good care.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Moonstruck

I'm so glad that you posted to let us know how you are going. When I "hit the wall" I just stop. Breath. Be still.

This entire week I have coped by taking one day at a time. Just do the minimum. Whatever doesn't get done doesn't matter. If you're like me chances are the pressure is self-imposed and no one will notice. I served overseas vistors take away twice this week because I couldn't manage the grocery store and cooking. Nobody cared. They thought it was cool to eat flake, as they'd never had it. I would have liked to cook but at the end of the day it was more important to safeguard my health.

Put yourself first and take good care. I hope talking to the bb service helps x

[Summer Rose]

Hi Lee

I am so happy to hear that you will be spending Christmas with your cat. You will receive the greatest gift of all, unconditional love.

Kind thoughts to you x

[lilly2016]

Hello everyone, I think it's safe to say alot of us are struggling to say the least, I'm thinking of you all and you are certainly not alone, I feel for you all, Moonstruck be careful and know you are in our thoughts, just breathe everyone, we will get through this, it will pass. I too feel close to a meltdown, it feels all a bit much but I will get through it. Take care.xxx

[GoodWitch]

sorry about your knee Summer Rose but glad you got out of the grocery shopping! I've worked it so I don't need to get a thing this afternoon, but I'm not having guests so that helps.

Have heard nothing more about my brother, so no news is good news I guess. At least I can pretend that's true for now. Things are a bit strained between me and hub at the moment, had a disagreement and we don't handle those well. I feel like he just doesn't hear me when I speak, or at least only 10% of the time. It's really hurtful actually, but somehow he manages to act like the one who's hurt the most out of any negative interaction we have. I feel down about our relationship again and I didn't want to feel that way just before Xmas day. I guess I might be putting on the happy face again!

Not meaning to be vague...I have a whole other long thread I started earlier in the year cataloguing our marriage woes. We've spent this whole year either on the verge of breaking up or trying to put things back together. Feel like 2018 has lasted 3 years! The quiet Christmas at home was something I said we needed to 'see how things go', which to me meant we couldn't make major decisions or plans until after, but hub keeps trying to push me further than I want to go, faster than I'm ready for. It's very distressing to have to constantly tell someone 'you're moving too fast' when they act like you've stabbed them in the heart every time. I don't know how I can go on that way.

Anyhoo. I'll be making sure the kids have a terrific day, that's my focus. After that I don't know.

Wishing you all the most tolerable holiday season you can manage.

GW

[Summer Rose]

Hi Good Witch, Lilly and all

I am super pressed for time but wanted to wish you all well for tonight and tomorrow. You are in my thoughts, everyone.

We've gotten this far together, now here we go ...

[geoff]

Hi Summer Rose, another lovely comment by you, I'm sure they really appreciate it and now the clock has turned over, Happy Christmas to you and all.

Geoff. x

[Guest2910]

Hello Summer Rose

What a nice thread you've started which enables everyone to give their own genuine feelings + viewpoints about how they personally feel about xmas.

First of all, my sincere thoughts reach out to you as you're contending with Own your health issues as well as going overseas to see your mom. Hope you can get the much needed help real soon. Nice you're able to go + see your mom. It isn't an easy thing to see someone you love dearly suffering from cancer. Make the most of your time together. I can relate to that exceptionally well as in November this year was the 1st anniversary of my moms death who also had cancer. Our last precious moments together has had a huge impact on me of how precious life truly is.

Having read all the posts that many contributed was very interesting. Also Your replies as such.

I think I was on the wrong thread when I answered Geoff about xmas on 'how do we cope with grief over the holiday season" thread under grief + loss section. Please feel free to read it.

Will say in addition to what I've already mentioned in that thread,

"Everyone Has The Choice Of Free Will if They Wish To Participate In xmas Or Not"

I personally don't celebrate it. I'm not under the obligation to buy because everyone else is. It's always nie to give to family friends + others when they least expect it.

Giving of myself to others in need without expecting anything back is my grestest joy Not just at xmas but All Year Round.

Not Just For One Day.

Each Day is Special.

With warm regards,

BBQ

[Summer Rose]

Hi GoodWitch

I'm sorry I didn't have time for a proper response to you pre-Christmas. Please forgive me.

I hope you got through Christmas okay and that the kids had a great day. I know it's hard with hubby.

To me, it seems that you both have different, yet legitimate, competing needs. You need time, he needs answers now. Nobody is wrong, you just need different things.

I have been married 30 years and, believe it or not, have had years like yours. Once a three year period like that. We both had to compromise and change and it wasn't easy for anyone.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's a two-way street. Again I don't know the whole story, but if you can't go on the way things are, that's okay. It takes two; it's not all your responsibility.

I hope the new year will be a fresh start. Whatever happens I hope that you will have the strength to be okay.

My kindest thoughts to you

[Lee lee 73]

Hello Summer Rose and everyone,

I hope everyone is ok. Thank you Summer Rose for this thread and for allowing us to vent.

Kind thoughts

Lee