Merry and Bright or Bah Humbug, how do you feel about the holidays?

[Summer Rose]

As the old saying goes, Christmas comes but once a year, and judging by my trip to the mall today it has well and truly arrived. Crowds of shoppers, bustling about, looking for the perfect gift. Not all of us here on the forum celebrate Christmas but I doubt than any of us can ignore it.

The advertisers tell us this is the best time of the year. A chance to enjoy the good things in life, spend time with the family and generally eat, drink and be merry. But this simply isn't the case for everyone. The holiday and its associated activities (e.g. shopping, cooking, travelling, etc) triggers stress, sadness and depression for a lot of people. I'm one of them.

Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, kids and Australian family and friends and I will no doubt enjoy the holidays. But for me, Christmas is always tinged with a hefty dose of sadness, which I carry inside and try to hide. This is because my mum, my sister and her family and all of my extended family live overseas. I've lived in Australia for some 30 years and you'd think I'd be used to this by now but I'm not.

So, I'm wondering how Christmas affects you? Are you looking forward to the holiday, feeling stressed or feeling left out because it's not something you participate in? What are your strategies for protecting your mental health this festive season?

[geoff]

Hello Summer Rose and Moonstruck, just wanted to say hi.

How did you hurt your knee?

I have to agree with you Moonstruck, interference and insistence and Xmas cards being sent, even though you ask for them not to.

People keep asking 'what are you doing at Xmas', well I'll be staying at home, I'm not religious, to me it's just another day, although I hope to see my 2 little granddaughters, as a couple of years ago I used to travel the 2 1/2 hours to stay overnight, but haven't the last 2 years, so they need to come to my place.

Xmas is for kids, but remember the worst part of Xmas years and years ago, is being told there is no Father Xmas, being told that by my mates when I was 6 or 7 years old was absolutely terrible.

My grandmother used to say 'the sooner it comes the sooner it goes'.

Take care.

Geoff.

[blondguy]

Hey Summer Rose

Thankyou for the great post 🙂 To answer your question ....I am fine with Christmas as its a great time for family to get together and have some fun especially for the children

I think Smallwolf (Tim) also mentioned this in the Cafe a couple of days ago and I mentioned that I will be spending Christmas (Day) with my rescue dog 'Prince'. My mum is 88 and has just told me that she wants to spend Christmas alone which is fair enough as she has been through some difficult times with my dad who passed away 2 years ago last month

I grew up in Niagara Falls ONT and I miss having a white Christmas...it was wonderful Summer Rose..I am a member just like yourself Summer Rose....I would like to say a heartfelt thankyou for the huge contribution you have made since you have been 'on the air' with us 🙂

Happy Christmas to you and your family Summer!

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Summer Rose]

Hi Geoff

Thanks for popping in with your thoughts about the holidays. I always enjoy reading your posts.

I really hope that you do get to see your little granddaughters over Christmas, it would be a special visit for you and the little ones at this time of year.

Funny, but I don't remember how I found out the truth about Santa Claus. I do remember, however, how disappointed my children were when they figured it out. Sorry this news from your mates had such an effect on you.

I hurt my knee cleaning the house, getting ready for family visiting from Canada. How ironic, as now I can't walk and they are taking care of me! I will have a MRI tomorrow. Fingers crossed that a bit of rest and physio will do the trick. I have to fly out to Canada myself at the end of December, so I am really hoping for some Christmas magic!

Take good care

[Summer Rose]

Hi Paul

I hope that you and Prince have a fantastic Christmas day together! I would love to spend the entire day with my dog, Scout, but will have to settle for just the morning. We will be with my husband's family for the afternoon and my little Scout (a Miniature PInscher) gets nervous in crowds, so she will be better off at home.

I miss a white Christmas, too. I grew up a little further along the QEW in Mississauga. It was always so special to wake up Christmas morning and find it had snowed. Even better to have the chance to play in it before we got bundled up for the trip to my Grandmother's house. Feeling nostalgic just thinking about it. I struggled with a warm Christmas for years but now I enjoy it too! Nice to have the best of both worlds.

Thank you for your kind words about my presence here. Right back at you! I really appreciate your posts and your willingness to take on the responsibility of being a CC and looking out for so many people. The world can be a pretty tough place at times, so it's so nice to have this online world which is kind and supportive and I want to thank you for the role you play in keeping it so.

For anyone just reading this post, we are talking about Christmas. How we feel about the holiday and the different coping strategies we have for getting through it in good mental health. Please feel free to join in.

[lilly2016]

Hi Summer Rose,

I think moonstruck has a point, I kinda feel the same way, Christmas seems unavoidable in so many ways, you feel compelled to participate no matter how you feel about it because of all the hype and other peoples expectations of you make it impossible to ignore. My sister is a Jehovah's witnesses so she doesn't celebrate Christmas or birthday's, I sometimes think to myself, she's fortunate to escape this fake exhausting illusion of a day, it's a sad day for me and I feel annoyed that I have to pull myself together enough to endure it, but I will for others. I try to think I'm doing it for Jesus Christ on the day, even though there is no real proof he was born on that day, I never hear his name mentioned on the day by any of my extended family, other then a passing Christmas carol on the radio. It kinda feels like a group of uncomfortable people getting together in uncomfortable circumstances and putting on a mask to make it all look like you are having a fabulous time. I'm sorry this sounds awful, but i bet alot of people feel the same way I do. I wish it were different and I hope this Christmas something miraculous happens and all that changes and I will try my best to make it happen.

[Moonstruck]

I read that our police force and phone helplines acknowledge Christmas as the peak period for domestic/family violence and suicides. Would Jesus really be pleased with how this particular day on the calendar is commemorated in his name? The over the top spending, the hype, the personal pressure, the tinsel, the pretty lights, and etc etc etc...is this what he really wanted for the world? Of course it's not.

Wishing you a Christmas miracle Lilly2016...(miracles can happen any day of the year though)

[Summer Rose]

Hi lilly2016

Thanks for your contribution to this discussion. I'm sorry I'm slow responding, I've been entertaining visitors and just haven't had a chance to get on line.

Everything you have said has such a strong ring of truth to it. The power of Chrstmas to compel us to shop, cook, smile is overwhelming. I should be resting my knee but I can't. We all should be protecting our mental health but we can't. We should be protecting ourselves from debt but we cant.

We are chasing an illusion. Christmas should be something you feel in your heart, not something you do.

So, I'm with you sister. My solution is to lower my expectations of many situations and external events but not within my own home. And I have boundaries around Christmas eveChristmas Eve is ours.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Moonstruck

No, I don't think Jesus would be proud of what Christmas has become in his name. We can't control the world but we can celebrate him our way (whatever that may be) in our own lives.

I'm hoping that Lily, you and all others are blessed with a Christmas miracle and I encourage everyone to look for it. Sometimes you have to be very still to see it.

Peace, love and joy

[lilly2016]

Hi Summer Rose, sorry to hear about your knee, I hope you can heal. I hope everything goes smoothly for you over the next few days and I apologise for throwing out my negative energy, I suppose I'm angry at society for putting so much pressure on us all. I do hope for a miracle. Already the bickering has started, there are people walking around with Santa hats on going about there daily business. I guess I can fake it for another year reluctantly, if it makes other people around me happy, I do it for them. I do hope Jesus understands.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Lilly

Thank you for your kind wishes about my knee. Turns out I have a torn meniscus and need surgery.

I had a meltdown when I heard the news. But I'm okay now. My house guests are fending for themselves. I've scaled back my entertaining plans for Christmas Eve and my contribution to the Christmas day lunch.

My biggest issue is the travel to Canada on 29 Dec. I'm supposed to be caring for my mum who has terminal cancer. I saw her in September and she was okay but now the situation is grim. I don't think I have much of a choice but to delay the surgery but am in a fair bit of pain. I really didn't need this.

Anyway, first I will get through Christmas and then make a decision. I just can't handle it at present. This injury was "the last drop in my bucket", if you know what I mean.

Interesting how you say you'll fake it for the day. Sometimes you can "fake it till you make it." I'm hoping you will at some point find genuine joy.

Kind thoughts to you and everyone else