Looking for a bit of advice

[CrazyQlder]

Hiya people, hoping that you're all well and not being too muchly affected by lockdowns etc.

Kinda new here, but anyway, looking for a lil advice.

Past 5 years or so, I've been a live in carer for a paraplegic, which, at times has been difficult due to personality clashes between us. Anyway, due to her condition, she is somewhat more susceptible to Covid-19. Understandably, she has a bit more fear of it.

So, for the first part of the year (I'm in QLD remember), I halted my usual mental stress relief habit of going camping with a small FB group of friends (not that we could do such things anyway in the early days cos lockdowns). Anyway, now that things have opened up a *lot* here in QLD, we've started to organize events again.

Problem is, I'm being continually told "If you go out with the camp people, even for a day, even if you wear masks, you are not allowed to enter the house for another 14 days. You cannot come home at all in that time". In essence I'm not being told that I can't go, but I'm being strongly discouraged from going, and also being told "You're not thinking of me, or the other carers with doing this stuff".

I try to point out that QLD has had zero community transmission now for a month or 2, and I'm told "do you really believe it's not in QLD at all?"

Anyone got any suggestions on how I could tactfully proceed? I do kinda need my breaks to get away and recentre myself (camping/4wd trips are great for that). I just can't work out if I'm being unreasonable with suggesting now, with the stage we're at in QLD, that I could go away for a trip or 2 again.

[uncut_gems]

Hi Crazy Qlder,

Welcome to the forums. This is a toughie. In my opinion you are being very safe and reasonable, and the risk of transmission (especially during outdoor activities like camping) is very low, particularly as you note in Queensland which has done a tremendous job of keeping the virus under control. You are absolutely right that you need to think about the activities that make you feel relaxed and rejuvenated, and plan time for them.

As someone with health anxiety, I do see where this person you care for is coming from, especially given, as you rightly point out, her increased risk. However, you are not breaking any rules or health guidelines that I'm aware of, and I think you can politely but firmly assert your right to spend your free time as you please.

Under normal circumstances at work, our employers, clients, patients, or customers rightly have very little control over how we spend our free time. However, being a live-in carer is a unique job where I imagine there is a bit less privacy. The other carers doubtless have their own hobbies and social lives that they've been getting back to as well, so it's unfair to single you out as being irresponsible or reckless.

This is a touchy subject in a confusing time, but I think you are being reasonable and are well within your rights to go camping and spend much-needed time off with friends. I would leave it to you how best to break this to the person you care for, and I think you can reassure her that you will still follow all the proper guidelines because you take your job seriously. After 5 years, I would think she knows that by now.

Warmly,

Gems