Feeling ok and the tide has turned

[Airies]

A year ago I was a mess and for 8 months I was in a dark dark place. Numerous hospital visits, medications, supportive family and lifestyle choices and I'm feeling ok.Being bipolar type 1 I tend to do things to extremes. I'm starting to string a number of good days together... I'm starting DBT in a few weeks which will test me somewhat. I'm putting one foot in front of another, not making any huge decisions and part of me is thinking I could be lulling myself into a false sense of security...I'm expecting a fall... I don't want to go where I was.. I don't know whether I could survive another bad episode.. It was scary and I was over it. I continue to have nightmares at night.. I sleep in some sort f medicated bliss but I have my moments.

cheers Len

[Kazzl]

Morning Len - how was your night? I hope it was better than the night before. That must have been very disturbing. I guess this is likely to happen as you start the treatment, at least you're well prepared and have a plan and support at home. And you'll develop more strategies through the treatment too.

Hey no worries about the booze, I'm well past any sensitivities or cravings or such. Mind you, if my Raiders lose this weekend I'll need to drown my sorrows in chocolate I reckon.

Hope you're OK mate. I'll be thinking of you.

Kaz

[Airies]

Morning Kazz,

a good nights sleep.,only a few work dreams which is normal.Luckily not a repeat of the night before. Don't know what i would have done. My wife took the night off work to keep an eye on me. Just back from the Supermarket.. 350 gram block of Cabdury for $3:00. Chocolate used to be my go to at least 3 nights a week. First block in ages, have a good one

cheers Len

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Len,

I have found you and have been reading up. You have been so kind in checking in on me.

It sounds like things have been pretty tough. The DBT treatments sounds interesting. I had a bit of a read on the internet about it. I am pleased you have a way forward even though there may be difficult times.

The other night must have been scary for both you and the Mrs. I hope you are sleeping well tonight.

Ps. Kaz was right about that being a cool hat.

Kind thoughts,

Carol

[Airies]

Hi Carol,

thanks for finding me :), Think nothing of it- you are always there for others, always have the right thing to say and they are not just words for token. You've been through a lot and it's great that things are going your way for a change and long may it last A step in the right direction and more to follow if only it were that easy but you have got to remain optimistic.

Have a great birthday party with your littlely.Just reading the local rag and the kindy our boys went to just celebrated 50 years. My boys are are Uni now and the years have just flown.Cherish each day with them.

The other night freaked me a bit. Guess to my credit where not so long ago I would have gone to hospital I rallied and pulled through and functioned somewhat in the ensuing days. So something must be working its has to be a win win and hopefully I'll be able to grasp what I'm trying to learn.Theres lots of support throughout the course which is good. The hats still in the cupboard probably won't fit getting a swell head and all. I might add the sunnies are probably hiding my best feature ,, my blue eyes... Like others here I like to vary my profile pic... Some days I can't even look at myself in the mirror so looking at a photo of myself regurarly not good, full of faults and not photogenic lol..Montys far easier on the eye:)

hope things continue on the way up

cheers Len xx

[CMF]

Hi,

You mentioned something that resonated with me.​

lulling myself into a false sense of security...I'm expecting a fall...

I'm prone to anxiety and depression, anxiety is worse. I used to refuse to allow myself to be happy because I knew something would come along and ruin it. I didn't see the point of being happy about anything. I now try and live for the day, and I have found I can be happy. I still have anxiety/panic attacks and can feel low but when I am in a good place I appreciate it and I try and relax and enjoy and be grateful for the good things in my life.

Yes, I do fall at times but when I do i try to remember that I have gotten through things before .

cmf

[Kazzl]

Great post cmf! I needed to hear that, thank you - a timely reminder about self-perpetuating anxiety. When I'm not entirely stable and starting to head down I do what you've described, stop myself enjoying the moment because I'm too busy worry about what might come next. This is so helpful. xx

Hey Len - how are you mate? Hope the sleeping has improved and things are looking up again.

Great news from Our Nation's Capital - no drowning in chocolate required, my Raiders won a mighty victory last night. We play Melbourne next week, and if we win we're in the grandfinal. Woooo hoooo!

Have a good day

Kaz

[CMF]

Thx Kazz, a big compliment from a wonderful contributor like you. I love your posts and the warmth and caring that oozes from them.

Len, great to hear you had a win, well done to you. You should be very proud of yourself, I am proud of you!

cmf

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Len,

Now I want to see these blue eyes! Haha, I shall have to call you Frank.

You are right, Monty is a cutey. I like your current pic too, the colours are really pretty and I find it quite serene.

All the best people are full of faults but you can't hide a kind heart. Kind hearts smile through a person's eyes and their smile or even sometimes in the hugs that they give. Kindness like you have is what makes people beautiful and that's you Len.

I am glad things are going along reasonably for you, onwards and upwards.

Carol xx

[Kazzl]

Hi lovely Carol - I couldn't agree more! (And want to see those blue eyes too! 😄)

How are you doing Len? Have you found Spring yet in your beautiful part of the world?

Cheers

Kaz

[Airies]

Aaaaw thanks Carol, Kazz and cfm,

wow thanks for the big rap. I'm glad I m able to convey via the written word as to the person I am deep down. You too are beautiful and kind as well. One day when I'm confident I will flash those blue eyes. I hope you are all doing well.Will catch up on your threads shortly. My profile pic was inspired by blues clues drawings. Tis a photo of one of my Bromiliads which is one of my new passions. I'm also thinking of taking up the harmonica or mouth organ. Started DBT which went well and slept without nightmares and did a few little things today so a wee bit of progress I guess. The day before not overly flash. Stupid thoughts continuously which was disheartening but got through it.its a balmy 18 degrees at the moment but rain on the way :(.

hope things are well in your neck of the woods

cheers Len xox