Facebook...The Good or the Bad...Your Say!

[blondguy]

Hi Everybody

Without a doubt Facebook is one of the best social media sites. I have been on FB for a long time and found it invaluable yet very stressful at times whilst having anxiety and/or depression or even just checking it every day.

Your views on FB, its impact on your mental health, well being, whether good or not so good are more than welcome.

Thankyou for reading my thread topic!

my kind thoughts

Paul

[blondguy]

Thankyou Quirky

Its great that you have it working for you....like many others who find some value in it.

I think with a depressive illness a unmoderated social platform could be a fast way to have a relapse. I think that Lici (above) has nailed it with using the 'only people I know' setting enabled

Have a good day Quirky 🙂

Paul

[Just Sara]

Hi Paul and all posting/reading;

I still get birthday reminders from FB which I rarely reply to. Lots of guilt associated with it, but I really don't like going there unless I have to. I've probably upset some people but honestly, putting myself out there feels uncomfortable.

It's interesting how social anxiety can pervade these spaces as well. It's not a physical presence so shouldn't cause grief, yet it does.

My uncle died last month so I sent my Aunt a nice private message on there. I was really upset and would've liked to go to the funeral but it's a 10 hr drive. In these instances contact via fb can be handy.

Other than this, I tend to stay away.

Sez

[Lici]

Hi Paul,

Mark Zuckerberg has a verified profile on fb that you can follow, not sure if it's the same as an account but it's posted to often with the last post on the 25th of June so I'm not sure where you heard that no ceo has an account?

With MI, I often share awareness posts to my profile so people on my friends list who don't have MI might get a better understanding and those who do have MI know they're not alone. Sometimes I'll post something personal about my MI and luckily I've never had any negative comments on them, if I did, then that person would be quick to disappear from my fb 😂

I think my anxiety somewhat helps with my fb use. Anxiety for me is all about control, fb is one of the very few things that I have full control over so I find that it doesn't mess with my anxiety or other mental health issues much. If I see something that I don't like or agree with, I hide or remove it, snooze or block the person or unfollow a page or leave the group etc.

Honestly I think it's a lot about perception and the way you perceive the amount of control you have over what you see and react to on fb etc.

I hope everyone is having a great day 😊

Lici

[smallwolf]

Lici,

I will share some posts relating to MI on my FB page but have not spoken about myself.

I am curious as to how you first made it known on FB. I have wanted to because it would save me repeating myself sometimes when people want to know how I am going.

Other than saying...

Hey y'all, I suffer from XYZ.

Not really sure how I would soften the wording. Just curious as only fear stopped me this far.

Tim

[Lici]

Hi Tim,

I first broached the subject on RUOK day because I got rather fed up with seeing people on my friends list sharing RUOK posts knowing full well that they would be uncomfortable with the answer if it was anything other than "I'm fine." I wrote about how and why I hated RUOK day as someone who has suffered from depression and other mental illnesses since childhood and encouraged people to have a discussion with me if they truly disagreed that they wouldn't really want to have a discussion with me about my MI if I actually answered R U OK? Honestly. Funnily enough, the people who replied were friends who also suffered from MI and felt the same way.

As for "softening" the wording, I'm not much for softening myself lol I tend to not sugar coat anything and just give flat out facts of what it's like for me to live in my mind etc. People may find it offensive or confronting and I'm quite happy for them to feel that way. To me if they really want to be someone who wants to say that they are there for their friends who have MI, then they should know the cold ugly facts about how it feels for the people who have MI.

Lici

[smallwolf]

Lici,

Thanks for the prompt reply. Much appreciated!

I also recall a similar (for lack of a better word) incident when a "friend" put a post on FB about Christmas is the worst time of the year in relation to suicide. That did not make sense to me. It is only recognized more then than other days. It is actually a myth based on US "studies". People with the best of intentions screw it up. Not blaming them. But fact check first would be helpful.

More generally, you can do a google search on facebook mental illness and you will get a stack of results about the negative effects of social media in general, and facebook specifically. In some ways FB posts and messaging replaced email which replaced letters. But I can remember way back when we wrote letters we would talk about the good and the bad. Mostly in FB it is only the good.

The like button is also a curse. When I first joined FB and you posted people would 'like' a post. But after a while the number of the 'like's decrease to 0. And you wonder what you have done wrong. But it can become similar to an addiction.

Thought over... well... time to finish dinner. Beef Curry tonight.

Tim

[Lici]

Hi Tim,

Beef curry sounds delicious!

Fact checking is something I also post a lot about funnily enough. People tend to go for the emotional reaction when they see a meme about whatever topic and never really think "Could this actually be factually wrong?" It's one of my pet hates lol

I have no doubt of the negative side effects of social media. I think it's because people tend to compare themselves to other people and forget that fb is a highlight reel so to speak. People in general will only post 10% of their lives and that will mostly be the positives. There's such an emphasis in today's society to be happy etc etc that people don't want to share the negatives because it will show that they're not "successful." I tend to do it myself as well although I rarely post anything that's not a photo I've taken or funny puns that I see etc. When I do post a status, it's for myself and not for the attention so to speak.

Likes is an interesting thing. I agree that it can be like an addiction. I shared a bird picture to a group I'm in once and got over 1000 likes. It was certainly a rush because I could only see the flaws in the picture. Other pictures I've shared haven't received the same reaction and they never get that many likes on my personal profile. I don't really care about likes that much myself. I share for myself again. It's a way for me to store memories that I might otherwise forget. I love the "on this day" feature for that. I can see what I was doing years ago and can track my progress with MI, photos and all sorts of things.

I've been wondering if maybe the reason why things such as not getting likes and comments, not adding people I don't know etc is because I'm a fairly introverted person. I only have 2 close friends and don't feel the need for human interaction a lot outside of my boyfriend when he comes home from work etc. I have never really understood loneliness as I've always been fine with my own company. I wonder if things like that is what influences my experience with Facebook? Interesting thought to ponder on.

I'd love to hear other people's thoughts on if they think personality traits like that influence the way they use social media!

Lici

[blondguy]

Hey everyone!

Thankyou Sara (Sez) for your clarity re social anxiety and FB...It is very common and accurate..

Sez mentioned "It's interesting how social anxiety can pervade these spaces as well.
It's not a physical presence so shouldn't cause grief, yet it does"

Hey Lici...thankyou for your input & the heads up on Mark Zuckerberg having a thread/account....I am having a look for a link that may also help with the discussion 🙂

my kind thoughts

Paul

[blondguy]

Hi Smallwolf (and everyone) and thankyou for the positive input re Facebook 🙂

Just seeing what everyone's thoughts are on SadMushroom's thoughts

SadMushroom mentioned "With all the warning of Identity theft on the news, people STILL put their real name and date of birth on FB accounts. Which means everyone who can see it now knows your real name, date of birth and where you live. Worse is people then begin drawling out their life story and hey presto, within a few months, your autobiography is online free. FB is about the easiest place for ID thieves to start"

Interesting point....what does everyone think?

Note: I have been on FB for years and can see both the positive and negatives

Great to have everyone posting their point of view!

Paul

[Lici]

Hi Paul,

I'm a little confused as to in what regards SadMushroom means. Do they mean anyone on your friends list or anyone that may look at your profile? If it's the latter then no, people who visit my profile that are not on my friends list cannot see my date of birth. In fact, the only thing my friends can see is the day and month and not the year so anyone who doesn't already know me personally in real life doesn't even know my birth year. I don't have my address in just the city, my phone number (as you have to provide it to use the mobile app) is not visible to anyone. I have complete control over what I show people and what is visible to the public in that regards too.

I think the problem might arise when people don't know about the privacy settings that Facebook has. If people don't bother to check what is visible to the public then sure, their entire lives and whatever is put up on fb is visible to the world. But anyone who is diligent will have gone through their privacy settings.

Maybe I'm just tech savvy though and maybe other people don't follow up on stuff like that?

Lici