Facebook...The Good or the Bad...Your Say!

[blondguy]

Hi Everybody

Without a doubt Facebook is one of the best social media sites. I have been on FB for a long time and found it invaluable yet very stressful at times whilst having anxiety and/or depression or even just checking it every day.

Your views on FB, its impact on your mental health, well being, whether good or not so good are more than welcome.

Thankyou for reading my thread topic!

my kind thoughts

Paul

[blondguy]

Hi Everyone! New members are always welcome to post too!

Hey Blufftuff 🙂 Its always a bonus to have you contribute to the forums...and for firing this thread back up too! Its great to have good news about FB with your friend utilising the 'messenger function' as a benefit

Hey Sleepy21.....Thankyou for the helpful post...I also found FB somewhat 'addictive' and found myself continually checking my account when I was a member....Having anxiety issues FB wasnt helpful to my recovery

Hey ecomama....I also feel more relaxed not having FB as a part of my life anymore...I always seemed to have an issue with the 'friends' tag......Just for myself as none of them were really friends....acquaintances probably

thankyou amazing people:-)

Hugs.....Paul

[white knight]

I have 6 cousins interstate

One became a Facebook friend 12 months ago. We spent every Xmas together as kids, but I’ve had no contact for 50 years.

So our new friendship felt promising. Recently he lashed out at me saying farmers feed the city folk (But I don’t live in the city) and that farmers are the backbone of society etc. I pointed out that we are all important- without the mechanics his machinery wouldn’t run, without city surgeons his wife wouldn’t be alive and the most important job in a hospital is the cleaner to keep germs away.

Clearly his pedestal needed trimming. Then I realised he never once asked me about my life in 12 months- that realisation was enough for me to cut the Facebook friendship.

Duch trimming maintains a bunch of close Facebook friends.

TonyWK

[Blufftuff]

I have been reading a lot of these posts before responding.

What amazes me is that we all have different opinions about this.

Having said this It is important to note that none of are wrong with how we feel and we have to respect each others opinion on this even if we do not agree,

The reasons behind why we dislike or like are varied as well making it very interesting indeed

[ecomama]

Absolutely Blufftuff, whatever flicks your switches! 🙂

I'm really cool with people who like FB, all good.

Personally I had issues with security. Ask any teenager, they can get through any FB security, they call it falking - FB stalking.
There are also issues with anyone using their real name and real birthdate.

Every single one of my utilities, Govt and even my Super accounts had been breached. By a known person.

I did have FB for about 3y and it certainly helped me join 'Private' screened groups for support. Remaining a member of this group perpetuated my PTSD. Attempting to find any other posts relevant to me was empty.
When I was scolded by a 'friend' for not downloading FB to my new phone via a barrage of texts, I was confounded - some people LIVE through FB. I dropped it. And the 'friend'.
I knew my MH needed more support and FB was a major obstacle to my wellbeing.

I do notice many strange behaviours on FB though.
The lack of respect is one.
The whole 'competitive' vibe seems strange to me also.
Other's constant need for validation via 'likes' says A LOT lol.
OH and the online arguments were horrible and just kept showing up.

I also work with a huge staff, the vast majority on FB but I never hear a positive thing about it. Always complaining about things on FB. Criticising people's posts on FB. I think why be on it?

FB can be an addiction, whereby people don't realise they're addicted and when it's having a very real negative impact on them.

[Guest_1584]

Yeah l agree 300% . To this day l still can not believe the stuff even 50yrs olds put themselves through or get tangled up in , with fb. The madness , the damage it can do, the exposure , is just mind boggling . You know , the latest thing in the states is you might not get a date males and females , if you don't have aaaaahhh, " a social media presence" . l think is the term , meaning fb , so that they can examine he or she and their life , first. Could you believe that ! Why do people put themselves through it.

Anyway , the real issues always been for me, our kids. The crap l've seen them go through.

Well , today at 19 no less , and after yrs of trying to help them avoid crap , it's finally hit the fan for my daughter - at 19 , l've been trying to get her off it since she was 11 , because of this day.

She's often had a bit of trouble with a few girls back to early prim school and the idiot of a town that schools in , which ex and my daughter have been living in 8yrs. Always knew , always , this day would come. Mt daughter left that school in yr 8 because of it and went to tech over in another town. She was a popular kid extremely smart and an extremely good artist. lt all caused jealousy though with girls that weren't in her circle, and these girls . my God you wouldn't believe that trouble they caused one of them is literally evil..

Well my daughter lives with me atm over in my town , to escape the place . The uni's closed,covid hand outs , partying kids , she got drunk a few wks back and ended up mixed up with them on fb.l haven't even heard of these kids 6 or 7yrs, and it hit the fan all over the internet, Ex and l talked her into ignoring it, no one that really knows hr will believe any of it , just lt fade away. l could not believe at 19, thy haven't changed. Well daughter of course was hurting , she got drunk again last night over at a friends and went back on fb. Well now , today , there has literally been dozens of that childhood crowd , laying into her , all over fb, the internet, instagram , for the world to see and stuck there, forever.

l'm so worried about her , dunno how to fix this. Ex has been in tears all day, and that takes a lot. Knew it would come one day,

BTW , if anyone has any advice or can we get rid of this stuff , or anything at all , please feel free. l wish she'd just delete the damn account , but that probably still leaves this stuff splattered all over fb, forever, l don't know l don't use it.

rx

[blondguy]

Hey RX

appreciate your support in these difficult times...

with respect to people who use FB to keep contact with family and friends...Social media is not a helpful resource during a global pandemic. (understatement of the decade!)

Your daughter is resilient yet doesnt need the unmoderated crap that exists on social media RX. Your daughter may have a better 'filter' than you know...

Always a bonus to read your posts RX

my kind thoughts always.....Paul

[Guest_1584]

Ahh, she see's straight through them , they're glass, always has. She had a lot of nasty kicks earlier in the yr though with other things , and now with everything else going on she's not herself right now and unfortunately opened some very nasty flood gates while drunk , a couple of times.

l couldn't even come close to explaining the dynamics of that town and people and what it does to the kids , help of fn and all the other crap they use., it's just sad all this garbage was ever invented especially for our youth., people kept in touch just fine before this but without splattering lives publicly for the world to watch and rewatch forever.

no words.

[blondguy]

Hey RX

I hear you loud and clear with daughters and FB....and getting drunk...My 27 year old daughter was no different when she was younger and actually uses Dr Google and FB as a reference for her health now...unbelievable

you have been on the forums for a long time RX

Your presence is breath of fresh air....Good1

Paul

[Guest_1584]

Thanks for that paul l know you know only too well how it can go. A long time huh , hmm, just took a look , 3yrs , is that a long time funny but l kinda figured 9 or 10 yrs round here might be a long time , don't know why. But anyway the place has been a god sent for me my friend even in just reading about sometimes.

Anyway l'm pleased to say that my daughters new nf is far more dominating her time right now since a few days after and she seems to have brushed off the fb explosion which l'm really thankful for right now . Although ex can't say the same still having to live in the town and deal with the people day in n out it all involved. But eh , ex can look after herself always told her she was crazy moving to that place but ohwell.

rx

[ecomama]

Hi randomx

Well tonight I was sent a screenshot of a text calling me a nasty name (long back story lol)...

Knowing "thyself" is very important! I was FURIOUS. But held back as I did last weekend....
I waited 24 hours and spoke with my psychologist friend and wrote up a short text stating the boundaries of our home.

I now have to do this again tomorrow. I intend on mentioning somewhere in this text that if this continues to occur, I will phone Police and get an incident number, press charges as well. (There are grounds for telecommunication charges to be laid in some cases for people).

I do not suffer abuse sitting down. No way.

rx I would strongly advise your daughter to:
* block those people from her fb account
* put the highest security possible on all social media accounts
* WHEN she drinks, she can write in the notes section of her phone ONLY.... this gives her the option to edit BEFORE or delete INSTEAD of posting the next day. She either needs to get into this habit or stop the other lol or both
* charges can be laid in some cases - crimestoppers can help
* I understand you can report abusive posts to fb and have them removed.

"Character" is becoming a very important area for many sectors. Even in some fast food chains.

Social media is a mine field. Even in future employment opportunities. I have known many employers that have searched for the social media pages of potential employees. Then dumped their applications in the bin in front of me when they see something that goes against their morals, the company's ethics etc. Done like a dinner.

And indeed YES it does matter "what people do in their spare time". Gone are the days.
You would not believe the conditions of my employment contract which covers my behaviour 24/7, 365 days a year. No matter where I am in the world.

Luckily I'm a saint! lol 😏

All my children know this and are extremely careful about comments they post online.
They have their sights set upon Law, Policing, Psychology and work in other areas (lots of children).

Just like any time, the "mistakes" of a few drunken comments can be devastating as your D is finding out.
I hope she really "gets" how far reaching this can go. If her mum is even distressed over this then I'm not sure what it will take for her to "get it".

Bestest wishes
EM