Facebook...The Good or the Bad...Your Say!

[blondguy]

Hi Everybody

Without a doubt Facebook is one of the best social media sites. I have been on FB for a long time and found it invaluable yet very stressful at times whilst having anxiety and/or depression or even just checking it every day.

Your views on FB, its impact on your mental health, well being, whether good or not so good are more than welcome.

Thankyou for reading my thread topic!

my kind thoughts

Paul

[blondguy]

Hi Mrs Dools and Everyone!

I think when the young kids get on Facebook in early secondary school there is a high element of competition to have 'so many' friends and being dumped as a friend can be catastrophic to many young people trying to 'fit in' during such a difficult time in their lives.

Facebook directors have come under attack for having young people under 13 years of age with a FB account.

For someone like Dottie who is working hard at uni its a great social tool. Dottie also has a crystal clear understanding of how Facebook works including the correct use of the privacy controls

To anyone with low self esteem/low self worth Facebook can be detrimental to their recovery as it provides a false positive where true 'friends' are concerned.

My Best

Paul

[geoff]

hi Paul, there maybe another problem with FB, in that someone may say to a person that they love them, just out of the blue and unexpectedly, which could put them in a difficult situation and could quite possibly ruin any friendship. Geoff.

[Mr_Walker]

Great topic! It's so true Facebook can be fantastic or terrible!

I found it great at first to be able to communicate and interact with people after being quite a recluse in the real world.

But I ended up deleting my account twice (!) when it got too much. Haven't had an accunt for a few years now.

My problem was, being a musician, lots of people who knew my band would send me friend requests but they weren't necessarily people I had anything in common with - and in the music world you're encouraged to get as many followers as you can to promote your gigs etc.

So then I found out I had a lot of racist, sexist or homophobic "friends" (amongst the lovely ones) and I just COULDN'T seem to make myself ignore their comments (I know I could - and did block unfriend or block them) but I couldn't stop getting in arguments!​

I found it really stressful and unhelpful. Also I don't really have any friends in REAL life so I didn't see much point in seeing what strangers had for dinner etc...

None of this is knocking Facebook though - my wife gets a lot out of it - it just didn't work for me and my situation. (Also because my real name is also my band name so I couldn't hide!)

[blondguy]

Hey Geoff.....thats a great comment about people taking us the wrong way when we post 'Love' or Like' on Facebook. I have this never ending problem with either Facebook, Email or an SMS. Our typed words/thoughts can be misunderstood as there is no 'color' in the conversation as per a voice to voice communication on the phone.

You have been on the forums for many years Geoff. Our typed words lack the color of a verbal conversation for sure thus leading to our thoughts sometimes being misconstrued. The written word doesnt have the impact or meaning that a voice to voice conversation has. Great post and thankyou!

Hey Mr Walker

Thanks for posting on this topic as I feel more discussion is warranted on the pro's and con's of FB. I also deleted my Facebook account as well. You mentioned "I found it really stressful and unhelpful" I found it the same and also agree with you about how much your wife likes Facebook. Even with enabling the 'privacy' functions it can be a pain especially with having a 'tired' mind (in reference to myself)

Thats a good point about your bands' name being the same as your name....That could be a train wreck for sure!

Thankyou Mr Walker for your help on this thread topic 🙂

my kindest

Paul

[Carla09]

i think facebook can be a good networking and meeting people for example my daughter has had certain medical issues and thanks to facebook Imhave met other people who have had similar issues and whose advise I can seek....

the negative can be family or friends with overbearing opinions...My mother for example will often send me things whay are either a dig at my parenting or at the culture of my father ( divorced now), or her current pet peeve...which is really annoying.....I also have family that are extreme animal activitsts and again feel a need to be slightly annoying and self righteous........and to be honest I find the nitpicking of news by certain family members to be annoying...as I myself am not well versed on what is happening in the random topic they have chosen to take offense to and therefore do not want to become involved in that debate...also I feel that it is a bit passive aggressive when people bombard you with either their left or right wing news article but don't stop to send you a "how you going message"....therefore I often feel like the wall off which some people can bounce all their latest global frustrations at...I personally don't like or share any articles with family unless they are a very neutral craft etc. article...

[blondguy]

Thanks Carla09 for the great post!

It does seem to be a roller coaster ride for many (not all) Facebook is based on the 1st amendment of the USA being free speech which is fine but when we have a 'tired' mind it can be a mentally challenging form of social media for sure

As you said the site has its benefits but I would never recommend it to anyone that has a fragile mindset (like me)

I was on it for 5 years and there were good points but the negatives outweighed them where my own health was concerned.

You made a great point with......

Carla Mentioned "I feel that it is a bit passive aggressive when people bombard you with
either their left or right wing news article but don't stop to send you a
"how you going message"....therefore I often feel like the wall off
which some people can bounce all their latest global frustrations at"

Great to have your say on the forums Carla 🙂

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Carla09]

Hi Paul,

I have really started loathing facebook even more since I have started receiving advertising. also, I feel that since I started making more of an effort to actually write family members letters and send physical cards that my kids make..I feel so much more connected...

i feel that the more time online. The more depressed I feel. The more I relied on sending small messages via email, facebook and the more I was bombarded by family and friends political views, etc..the less I was liking them...So I have opted to try to record my thoughts little by little and actually write a letter. i saw how touching it was when I found a letter my great grandmother wrote to my mother and How philosophical and deep the thoughts were compared to the facebbok posts...I think there is so much more love in letters as the person has taken the time to write an expression of love to you. Whereas facebook is all about self promotion...there is no reflection on what an individual person means to you...

anyway, something I have been pondering lately

[blondguy]

Hi Carla! and thankyou for the great post too

The written word...absolutely....Its personal and has that touch of TLC to it. I like what you mentioned about FB being about self promotion. I have had depression for 20 odd years and found FB a huge drain on my mental health

Interesting to note that not one of the board members (or even the chairman) has a facebook account...interesting

Have a great day Carla

Paul

[Carla09]

Yes. Definetely I also feel it is a drain.

I think there is strong correlation between social media and the increase in anxiety.

[rhinoceros]

I find Facebook to be a very toxic thing for my anxiety and depression.

It's a forum where people only put up what the want others to see. I'm guilty of this myself. It's a case of "keeping up with the Jones'" on a massive scale. I'm very selective with what I follow - there are certain topics that trigger anxiety/depression for me so I am mindful to avoid these. Since I work as a musician, a large part of communication is through Facebook, if I wasn't for needing it for this purpose I would just get rid of it completely.

I also feel that a lot of the new reality TV shows have a similar 'toxic' effect for me- there are things I can't watch so I just turn the TV off. My girlfriend happens to love a lot of these shows- poor me!