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Existential Crissis

MissBenthos
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
I have been well for over a year now - depression and anxiety free. I have a great job, plenty of friends, am now engaged to my long time partner, I have a volunteer job, I'm still taking medication and am still seeing my psychologist once a month. Basically I can't see anything wrong with my life.

So I don't understand why I still question what the point in life is. I frequently wonder what my purpose is and find it hard to set goals. How can I find meaning in life? I don't feel passionate about anything and I don't know what else I can try?
14 Replies 14

Hi MissBenthos,

Thanks 🙂 Always good to hear from you.

Yes, I hope so too...

True, for some people, marriage/family/house is personally fulfilling and purposeful. I suppose we are all different but the thing with society is it doesn’t always recognise that not everyone wants or needs the same things in life. The thing that makes one person feel very fulfilled could make another person feel completely miserable. We’re all different...yet that’s often not taken into consideration when people suggest or pressure others to pursue certain paths.

I smiled at your comment about people liking flashy things. I’m in 2 minds about it. On the one hand, I think “well, if it’s their money, they can spend it as they see fit plus we need a degree of consumerism for economic growth anyway.” On the other hand, I also realise some people completely define their self worth based on what material goods they own, which could mean a very fragile sense of “self.” I wonder if that could be the case with some of your friends...maybe they’re “buying” their self worth and purpose, in a way?

Personally, I must admit that I enjoy fashion and makeup. It doesn’t make my life purposeful or fulfilling (and I don’t personally expect it to) but it does give me a nice boost in mood 🙂

Always enjoy hearing your thoughts.

Pepper

Hehe. This may be going slightly off topic but in my opinion "we need a degree of consumerism for economic growth" is brainwashing. The fact that we rely on money is so ingrained in society no one seems to be able to imagine a world without it. In my ideal world people would help each other and that's all we would need. But that's not the way it is and greed is destroying the world.

I sometimes wonder if my controversial opinions like that are why I struggle to find meaning because the idea of even slightly changing something like that feels unreachable. And do I care enough to push it? I don't know. Sometimes I have strong opinions on something and then the next day I'm like oh well doesn't really matter.

I totally understand getting dressed up can boost mood, good on you for it 🙂

Hi MissBenthos,

In an ideal world, yes, ahuh, I get where you’re coming from. I’m probably a skeptical person so I have doubts as to whether everyone (some, Yes, but everyone?) would necessarily be that motivated to help each other out without some sort of very obvious incentive.

I feel it might be easier to find help for some tasks but for unpleasant or demanding tasks, such as, managing waste disposal, it might be difficult if there was no obvious incentive. Having said that though, I would be happy to have my cynicism proven wrong 🙂

I suppose this hypothetical world hasn’t, to the best of my knowledge, existed before so it may or may not work. I feel we can only speculate at this point. I suppose a while ago, we bartered (but that’s still a “transaction”) so societies do change...

I feel there’s nothing wrong with having different or controversial ideas. It’s often a good thing, because it says you’re thinking for yourself (or as much as one can anyway).

I think it’s okay if that’s what you truly believe. Perhaps if you come up with concrete ways to encourage people to help each other out from goodwill, you might start feeling your life has more meaning?

I’ve heard of something called the “kindness project” (or maybe it’s called something else) where people do a good deed for a stranger and leave them an anonymous card to “pay it (kindness) forward” by performing a kind act for another random stranger...and so it continues. It’s a little kitschy and overly sentimental, in a way, but sometimes simple ideas like that can create change in small ways.

I realise that’s probably not what you meant, and I’m not saying you need to do something similar , but what I’m trying to say is there are ways around things with some lateral thinking.

I know you mentioned how your fluctuating levels of motivation is an issue. Maybe on your more motivated days, aside from doing more, you could come up with short lists of tasks for your more despondent days. So on your down days, maybe you could commit to those lists almost as they were a “chore.”The idea is to keep the momentum going both on your motivate days and also even on your “down” days.

As always, my suggestions and thoughts are simply that. I’m a huge believer in suggesting and not insisting so if none of my ideas really apply, no need to take any of it on board...

As an aside, I really get something out of these conversations with you. I think you have an interesting take on things, which I appreciate 🙂

Thanks pepper, me too!

I appreciate all your suggestions too, gives me another perspective to look from.

My mood seems to have picked up today, I discovered that I had forgotten to take my anti depressants a few days ago.

Hi MissBenthos,

You’re most welcome 🙂

Hopefully, when you’re back on your meds, it will help stabilise your mood and you’ll feel a bit better.

Anyway, this space is always open to you if you want to talk.

Caring thoughts,

Pepper