Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[quirkywords]

Paul thanks for the kindness you show to ignorant people.
You are an important part of the forums.

i know a trans person in my town and most people see her as she. She is popular. 

[Trans22]

I have spent about 40 years of my life suffering anxiety and chronic depression - all thought to be due to events that led complex trauma.  I found out the root cause for the pain in August 2021 and I actually started to love myself and life - before I started internalising the hate being directed at people like myself.  I started having a lot of difficulty getting more than about 3 hours sleep a night - "crying yourself to sleep" is a fallacy.  I finally managed to pull myself out of this new abyss after adopting the advice of my partner - to adopt a mantra that reminds me of the beauty and love I found for myself - love conquered hate.  My journey wasn't over though, because I was soon to get a life changing (in a negative way) medical report.  However, my newfound inner strength made me even more determined to love myself and my "new" life for as long as I am able to.  Living is far better than existing, even when there are battles to be fought - something that I'll probably have to continue to remind myself of too.

[CMF]

My partner is overseas and I am liking myself. I'm not feeling angst & annoyance at his overbearing sister who is away with him. I don't like who I am when I feel like that.  I'm having fun at work, socialising me. I'm being ME & I'm comfortable with it.

Cmf

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone,…..🤗..

Thats wonderful news CMF, isn’t it strange how other people have an impact on how we feel about ourselves….Which is sad really…

Hugs beautiful lady…

Grandy…

[quirkywords]

CMF

I like your insights into your feelings.

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone,……🤗,

Its been a while since I’ve been here, I was triggered into ptsd and been struggling for a couple of months now, but slowly surfacing again..I didn’t hate myself, I was angry with me and just stopped caring/liking myself…

The thing I want to talk about is, how our self like can diminish while we’re really down due to memories of wrong choices made decades ago, or maybe even days ago…strange isn’t it how we go from being self caring towards ourselves ie: eating properly, self hygiene, giving ourselves some yummy treats, doing things we like…to not eating, no hygiene, staying in bed, putting ourselves down, not doing anything, etc…

Then on that beautiful, but slow, climb back up, our self like/care starts to emerge again, we again start being kinder to ourselves….

Thinking about that….Does one have to be happy or travelling life contently to like oneself…I’m curious if you still give yourself self care if your deeply depressed….does it for some unknown reason only start to come back to you when you’re starting to rise above your depression?…

Kind thoughts everyone with some hugs….🌈🤗💙.

Grandy..

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Grandy,

I am just starting to emerge from about 8 weeks of very extreme anxiety and depression, and in the depths of that I have to say it was really hard to access the self-care/self-like part of me. I was beating myself up actually. But I think there was a very little part of my brain and some little space in my heart that knew the negativity towards self was wrong, even if it was a very small part of me. That is progress I think as once there might not have been that inkling of a little bit of light towards myself. But certainly when starting to rise above again is the time where it becomes much more possible to be kinder to oneself again. I had some good experiences on helplines too where I had lovely people who really helped me to ground myself and see things with kindness and clarity.

I'm glad you are re-emerging now and finding the light again. Take care lovely Grandy 🤗

[Doolhof]

HI Grandy and Eagle Ray,

I've been feeling really lost and disconnected lately, finding it difficult to feel grounded.  Belonging and making sense of each day is a muddle. So to compensate, part of me has closed down. No expectations of anything happening, the days are drifting past in some kind of fog. Even little jobs are seeming insurmountable. 

I have the perfect opportunity today to drive myself to the beach, but just trying to form that image in my mind let alone actually driving there seems insurmountable. It is silly. I love the beach! 

I'm performing routine self care I guess, not doing so well with the binge eating, too much coffee and not enough physical activity. 

Feel like I am drifting invisibly.

[Ggrand]

Hi, Eagle Ray, Dools and everyone,

Well done Dools, even basic routine self care can be very difficult while in depression, Binge eating, I’m so good at doing that, especially when I’m not mentally okay…Hmm, thinking about that,  maybe binge eating is in a way, some kind of self care…..we, well I mostly only binge eat when I’m down, maybe I like myself unconsciously enough to give myself some kind of pleasure…even if it’s not healthy 🙂….I tell myself because I do over 6,000. steps each day at work (3days) only….then on the other 4 days it’s okay to not exercise….I know I should, but I’m still unable to walk on my own, I feel to afraid to do that….I don’t think I ever will be able to….

Did you end up going to the beach today Dools?….

Eagle Ray,  I am happy that you’re also starting to emerge from extreme anxiety and depression….Please be very gentle and kind to yourself….I’ve tried hard, but can’t understand why our brain wants to be our enemy in the times we need it to be our friend…

Liking ourselves should be inbuilt into our brain….maybe it is when we’re born…

Hugs everyone…🤗

Grandy..

[quirkywords]

Dools

so sorry you are feeling you are drifting. Did writing this post help you ar all. I find writing helps.
when I feel disconnected I try to ground myself but a small connection like saying hello to a stranger on my walk.

this may not  work and I feel your the sense that everything is muddled