Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[Guest9337]

cool man, u party hard, work easy and rest well.

[Doolhof]

Hi Topsy,

How are you going?

I didn't achieve much yesterday, I am telling myself that is okay. No point in being frustrated because my get up and go had got up and gone!

I'm working the next 3 days so guess that will keep me busy.

Off for a walk before work, that is one way of looking after myself and liking myself more because I have achieved a walk and some self care.

Cheers all from Dools

[topsy_]

Hi Dools

I haven’t been doing very much either. I know all the things I could be doing but it seems impossible some days.

Today I wrote a list of four things To Do but I didn’t do any of them. Instead I baked a cake & then cooked fried rice for tea. Now I’m pooped, but I feel good about having done some small things.

I hope work will be ok for you. Fingers crossed!

Take care, T.

[quirkywords]

I find when people try to get me to do something which I am indecisive about, I can get stubborn and refuse to do something.
I feel in these situations I am not strong and I don’t like thst part of me.

I like it that I care about people who upset me.

[smallwolf]

Hi topsy, I wrote a bunch of emails that I had left over from the week. Some thank you ones, and others. Not quite as exciting as making a cake as you did! Sometimes doing enough is good enough.

[CMF]

After having the disagreement with my daughter and her coming home from her Dad's I'm feeling better. We had a small celebration for her 18th bday Friday night. I decorated a cake for her, which she didn't know about. I'm trying to have more patience, keep things calm as she has enough stress with lockdown, yr 12 and vaccine talk. I'm liking myself a bit more and making an effort to keep things calm for her.

Cmf x

[Guest9337]

G'day CMF, that sounds like a nice thing to do, decorating a cake - why does she not know about it? I presume she will some time soon.

If your daughter does a year 12 mathematics/sciences subjects, or indeed does maths/science at uni, then I gently suggest she has a look over the wolframalpha website, it is a highly valuable free factual search engine that does perfectly worked solutions fairly easily for maths, sciences and many factual, measurable and defined things/fields.

Quite easy to use actually I found. On phones, devices and pc. good luck have fun I pass on! love dng.

[CMF]

Hi dng,

She didn't know I had decorated a cake as I usually buy one already done. It was fun to be creative. She was out for a walk so when she hot home and opened the fridge she was surprised.

Thanks for the website reference, we'll have a look. She has a maths subject but her focus is music and art. She's amazing, so talented.

Take care

Cmf x

[white knight]

hi Sleepy,

I read your post here about being triggered. An example you have about seeing your ex in the supermarket. Then asking yourself "what did I do wrong".

From a lifetime of being triggered and with them still persisting I can say they never stop. Like many annoying things good management is the way to success of better living and liking ourselves more by acceptance.

The key to good management is training your mind to realise immediately that the trigger has occurred then not allow it to take hold. For me this process takes about 2 minutes nowadays and that learning has taken some years.

Like many topics to do with my adverse over reactions my wife knows this about me and when triggered she works with me to talk slowly and ask me if the topic triggered me. Often I then realise before the 2 minutes is up and I often apologize and all is good.

These processes results in a far better quality of life. It allows you to live better while not living in a way of keep getting annoyed at things like triggers that you have no control over.

I hope that helps. Here is a thread I wrote on the topic.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/triggers-that-down-you-triggers-that-lift-you

TonyWK

[blondguy]

Hi Everyone! New posters are always welcome too!

This thread was written a while ago about liking ourselves.....which can be a huge ask when we have a tired mind or any level of anxiety/depression

If you want to help us help others please post!

Just for myself I have my music and garden that I lose myself in....and my second dose of Astra Zeneca just a few hours ago....phew! Glad thats out the way......feel better now (less anxiety)

Have a great week everyone

Paul