Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[quirkywords]

Katy

I have shared this before but a few times I have cried in frozen section of the supermarket. Once was a few months after my dyed, and sometimes there is now reason and it always the frozen aisle. No one asks why I am crying .
not I sure why I shared that but 5he story about leaving the trolley at the supermarket reminded me of that.

[Guest_1643]

At one point I saw an ex at the supermarket. He had seen me first and by time I looked up he was staring at me, I put down my groceries I'm the middle of the supermarket and left. I cried in the streets and felt so lost

[Doolhof]

Hi Katy, Sleepy, Quirky and all,

One great thing about sharing in this amazing community is we learn that other people have reactions similar to ours!

Sometimes my mind is overloaded when I go shopping, there is noise, bright lights, lots of people, I try to social distance, my glasses have fogged up with the mask wearing, people seemed determined to run into me with their trollies.

I can't remember what brand of toothpaste my husband likes. I stand there looking at a selection of hundreds of different brands! I wander the ails trying to think what I might like to cook us. I don't want to cook! Ha. Ha. The ideas are not happening.

I have a list. I don't know where they have hidden the mustard this week!

I have potatoes, a tray of meat and some milk. Time to leave.

Most days I am fine, some days it is just all too much!

May we all decide these moments happen and we can move on. We will be okay.

[Guest_1643]

hi all

it is great to write safely here and try and share ways we can take care of ourselves

the not liking myself is sometimes so intense, i've had it all my life

a pattern i go through when anything goes wrong is to ask myself "What did I do wrong?"

Sometimes i've done nothing wrong at all, and in fact, another person is acting inappropriately and all I can do is walk away and take care of myself

Living without being triggered is hard, I get to a point where I cant leave my hosue at all, and my house feels unsfae too.

I'm trying tobe kind about the small steps I can do, to face my fears. I don't want to live in fear and I want to love myself for who I am - maybe today realising that is all I can do.

Sending hugs.

[Guest_1643]

hi Dools, well done on all you have done to stay well.

we are survivors.

any of us hre who have PTSD have likely done so many things, taken so many steps, to keep going . You've done so much.

Admire the volunteer work you do and how much u give here to us all as well - thank u so much

[Doolhof]

Hi Sleepy,

Thanks for your kind words. The community here has helped me immensely, I am only happy to be able to give back in some way. Being a part of this space provides me with a sense of belonging somewhere.

[topsy_]

Hi Dools & sleepy

I’m following along. I hope things are going ok for you both, T.

[blondguy]

Hi Topsy!

Thanks for being a part of the forum family 🙂 How was your day?

Paul

[Guest9337]

I have recently re-fallen in love with myself, not in a arrogantly selfish way, instead a calmness, an alignment with all my values and the time I spend on them means I am now worthy of loving myself.

[blondguy]

Hey David

really appreciate your post about liking yourself in calm way....Ive been trying to do the same and slowly getting there

very helpful input David and thankyou!

Paul