Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[smallwolf]

@CMF ... Sorry to read about what has been going on. This time can be a real struggle. My mum is a former teacher and helping out my nephews (primary school) and that was a struggle. Last year my daughter was in year 12 with the lock down etc.

@Quirky ... Yes. There are more distractions at home and not good ones. People asking for things at home. Remote connection to work makes things slower. Harder to talk to work people. So I do get irritable more easily.

[Ezzi]

HELLO ALL.

YES I DO LIKE DO LIKE MY SELF 🙂

[Doolhof]

Today I am going to like, respect and value myself.

I know I have a heart filled with love and compassion for other people.

Some days I am not able to love and care for myself as much as I need to as my heart is occasionally saddened by life's events, past and present.

I know how hard I have worked to be in the place I am in now. I have not given up.

Yes, grief and sadness is a part of my life, to me it means I have a heart that has known an immense sense of love and loss. I am human. God gave me a heart and soul that cares.

It does not mean I have not moved on. It does not mean I have not tried. It does not mean I am a pathetic, worthless, individual.

[smallwolf]

Good to hear that you are out of hospital now. You also said that you realised you are strong. That sounds like a good moment and while there will be up and downs in life, you will realise you can get through. More strength to you.

[Jstar49]

Hi Dools,

Reading between the lines, I can agree. Having a large, warm heart, and being open to experience your pain, as well as others, can so often look like a negative character trait in our society. We value strength, and imperviousness, and 'triumphing despite the odds.'

And all of those things are...great. Yet sometimes, it's just not true. And I realise, I really value TRUTH.

(I'm also realising that not everyone deserves my truth, lol not lol)

Sometimes the road to healing is V messy. And others watching us struggle may want us to get better quicker, by taking this medication, or by doing this course. But maybe it's not right for us...? Who can tell. Only us.

As Sleepy says, "I really like how I'm developing or reconnecting to myself and making my own choices from pure gut instinct. "

I really like that too Sleepy! And I can hear the strength in your words!

Anyway. I just want to say that I hear you, Dools, and I can hear the strength in you, and feel the depths of your suffering. And those two things can and do co-exist in the same breath.

Being human. It's almost defined by our suffering....

Dools, I am sorry that GPs where you live are so tough to get in to. It shouldn't be that way. However, I've got to say that I've heard more ppl complain about their GP's here on BB than brag about them. It seems like GPs have a lot more responsibilities to uphold now than ever before. To me, there's nothing quite like an ordinary, gifted counsellor, who cares just enough to listen, but isn't needing to keep you coming back for the rest of your life in order to satisfy their own ego. One who puts the healing back in our own hands.

Thankyou for inspiring others Dools. You are precious, and valuable, just the way you are.

J*

[blondguy]

Hi everyone! and thankyou for being a part of the discussion too -)

Hey Ezzi....good on you for liking yourself and actually posting it too!....Im trying to do the same!

Hey Dools....thankyou for speaking from the heart...I hope you can find some TLC and peace in your life

Hey Geoff...thankyou for sharing your life experience on the forums...How many years have you been here?

Hey Sleepy...always great to read your caring posts and thankyou for being there for so many people!

Hey Tim.....what can I say? Your input is always caring and balanced....Thankyou heaps my friend

Hey Jstar....your input is GOLD and always appreciated....You mentioned "I've heard more ppl complain about their GP's here on BB than brag about them. It seems like GPs have a lot more responsibilities to uphold now than ever before" Ive only been on the forums sporadically due to ongoing family problems yet I havent had to read between the lines to find any hidden agendas. If there are any you have found please post and let me know 🙂

Hey CMF...(Country Music Festival) lol....Thankyou for your continued care over such a long period of time x

Hey Birdy...always great to see you! I wrote this thread back in 2016 and Im not sure I understand your post. Unless I have missed something the Beyond Blue forums are a national mental health support thread and sometimes members may not like what others are posting when they are only trying to support others...Im not sure if you mentioned if you 'like yourself' Excuse I if I have missed it in your posts 🙂

Hey Ecomoma.....always a bonus to see you 'on the air'...and thankyou for posting 'I wouldn't take anything mentioned on the forums "personally"...It's full of ppl experiencing mental unwellness, so some times things come outta the blue"

I hope we can be kind to eachother during this global pandemic..If I have missed anyone forgive me

kindest thoughts always.....Paul

[geoff]

Hello Paul, a great reply and to answer your question concerning me, in December'21, I will be here 20 years and I can't answer why I've been here that long, the time has gone so quickly.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Doolhof]

Hi J*

Thanks for your thoughts. We are all on a journey. Our own life experiences, behaviours we learnt as children and all the interactions we have come across with other people help to mould and shape who we are in my opinion.

Yes, we do have the ability to help ourselves, sometimes we need a little extra help and support.

Most days I do really well and am thankful for the person I am. The losses I have experienced, have helped me be more sensitive to pain and suffering in others. Part of our upbringing and the expectations of others does shape how we deal with grief and loss I feel.

Regarding GPs, I know our local Drs work very long hours. I had a wonderful Dr here for years. I miss his assistance, support and care. It is harder to receive continuous care at our medical centre, I don't know why the system has changed in the last couple of years.

I volunteer in an Aged Care Home. I am thankful I have the time to just sit and listen to other people's stories. Each person has their own qualities. I sometimes wonder what has happened in their lives and who they were as children and young adults.

While I am there, I greatly appreciate that sense of connection with another person and their soul. I like the person I am who can listen, laugh and sometimes cry with those precious people in the home.

Thanks again for your kind and encouraging words. Cheers from Dools

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

I find I don’t like myself when I’m out in the world trying to behave like a well person - like now, on uni prac. I came in here specifically to share that, then I read about Dools having to abandon the grocery shopping halfway through, and I got to feel ok about me again. There’s lots of things I can’t currently manage.

Mostly, this is a really supportive place to be, and you’re accepted where you are on your journey. I think that’s what many of us value so much. There’s plenty of people out in the big wide world ready to judge and misunderstand. I need this safe space. Thanks as ever to everyone here for sharing of themselves.

[blondguy]

Hey Katy

Beautifully said from the heart. I feel the same as you

Beyond Blue are lucky to have such a gentle person as yourself in the organisation

Paul