Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[Guest_1643]

i like the idea of helping others to feel better

it is a likable quality.

I like being able to apologise, and not to need or demand forgiveness, but just to let someone know i think i made a mistake. i like that ability i have to sit safely in a space of making a mistake.

I also like the love in my heart. I like sharing it and connecting to others.

[Guest_1584]

Beautiful stuff sleepy , good for you.

Heard a line last night , educating is not in the head it's about the heart, it's the giving that are the rewards of life not taking.

Even though l have my crap no doubt about it , this last few yrs l've wanted to help people out more , just the few that are around me , or family if l can, no one wants it. Go figure.

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

sleepy I find people who won’t accept an apology and will not let go of some misdemeanour and keep on telling others how awful the person who apologised ,to be people who have a need to feel superior to others.

I think accepting an apology takes an ability to forgive and ,let go.

I think apologising makes us vulnerable and human to others.

I feel if I can admit I made a mistake I like myself for acknowledging what I did and how to improve next time.

[Croix]

Dear Sleepy21

I realy like you post of the 21st, it shows a maturity and wisdom I would envy - particularly "i like that ability i have to sit safely in a space of making a mistake" I wish .. Well, I wish...

Croix

[Emo]

I used to think I liked myself but if I'm honest with myself I would have to admit that I don't like myself.

I wish I felt better about myself because if I did I wouldn't let my husband abuse me and treat me very badly.

I don't care what happens to me. I feel like I deserve to be treated badly. I guess I should be grateful that my husband is willing to even be near me.

I hate myself so much that I feel I need to be punished for being me. How do I learn to like myself? How do I get to a point of feeling like I deserve to be happy? It's a constant battle of fighting the bad thoughts in my head. I just want to feel like I'm a worthy human. Maybe I'm not!

Regards,

Emo.

[Giraffe]

When we are being abused it is hard to love ourselves. We start looking at ourselves through the eyes of the abuser. You are a wonderful person. I have been following your story and I truly hope one day you can live a different life.

[quirkywords]

Emo and Giraffe

Giraffe you wrote When we are being abused it is hard to love ourselves.

I think that is sad and true. I have also found when people put me down verbally and call me names I feel maybe they are right and maybe I should stand up for myself.

It can be hard to like yourself when others dont .

Thanks to everyone who has opene dup and been honest on this thread.

[blondguy]

Hi Everyone!....New posters are always welcome to post too!

Hey TonyWK...Jstar49...RX...Croix!.....Emo....Giraffe....Sleepy21 and thankyou again Quirky

It is difficult to like ourselves when we are experiencing any abuse (thankyou Giraffe!) or going through a difficult period..My mum is 90 and my 54 yo sister is trying to drag mum to church every week against her will to find Christ...This is exhausting for me after having anxiety attacks for 38 years.

Hey Emo...I just read your post above and you mentioned 'I don't care what happens to me. I feel like I deserve to be treated badly. I guess I should be grateful that my husband is willing to even be near me' Im so sorry that you have been treated the way you have been by your husband. No one should be abused as you mentioned above..please talk to us...we are good listeners

Thankyou amazing people and OTL Moderator for caring

my kindest

Paul

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone

Paul that must be frustrating and stressful to see your sister try to drag your mum to church each week.
Your summaries and concern for everyone here is much noticed and appreciated.
Also your honesty and vulnerability you share here encourages others to open up .

[Jstar49]

Hi everyone,

What wonderful thoughts are being expressed here on this thread.

Sleepy your words about being able to apologise, and being ok with making mistakes, make me take a deep breath and reconsider my shame differently. Thankyou.

Quirky I liked what you said about being able to forgive. It helps me to understand that when others don't accept my apology, it's more about them than me. It's not because I'm unforgiveable, it's because they aren't able to let go, and be human and vulnerable with me.

Emo i can so relate to the difficult situation you have shared. I too have let the way others thought and spoke about me affect my own feelings of self worth. Those thoughts still sneak in at low times, but I have more choice. I have not been in close contact with those family members very much, and what they think and feel is now more separate to my own thoughts and feelings. I hope that you can create some space to think your own good worthwhile thoughts. Thoughts which build you up, and fill you with hope and love and joy. You deserve it!

Giraffe your simple statements ring so true. I have experienced that sense of looking at myself thru the eyes of a family member who was verballing abusing and belittling me. Your words help me to see it more clearly. Thankyou.

Croix the way you honour other members here at BB is beautiful. Thankyou.

Paul thanku for the care you take to notice and include evryone. How sad that your sister doesn't respect your mums preferences. It must be very disturbing for you to witness that.

It's mothers Day coming up, and I'm feeling very .........troubled. Coming here and reading all the encouraging words remind me to like myself first, and to keep on loving in the face of adversity, even while I do things which bring me joy. A lovely long drive, a picnic of fish n chips, a playground, and some of the people I love. That is enough. TBH I have tears about others whom I also love, who won't be there. There it is.

Happy mothers Day on Sunday, to all the mothers here, And for all the sons and daughters, I hope and pray that we can forgive our mothers for not being perfect, and find it in us to make it better for the next generation.

Love

J*