Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[quirkywords]

Random star and all,

I think the theory of a group of like mi ded people is different to the practice. Maybe it wirks for some people but I too am private and a bit of a hermit at time.
I suppose I also like people who are different to me which isn’t hard as most are.
If we like ourselves are we more accepting g of others and willing to accept their differences . Some people I feel closest too have some. ASIC vs.he’s but are different in many ways and we disagree respectfully. We have a string connection based on understanding and respect.

I suppose before we confirm d. Group of like minded people we maybe need to like ourselves.

[Jstar49]

Hi

I like that thought Quirky, about liking ourselves before finding like minded ppl. I guess the next line to that is, if we don't like ourselves, but find ourselves with like minded ppl (who don't like themselves) that could get ugly....lol...

Heres cheers to liking ourselves!

J*

[Moonstruck]

I was with people from my tribe last night. Oh the relief at being able to "exhale, breathe out". My words came easily, didn't have to think over and over the "right thing to say" or "what to wear"...they don't care.

They accept me, always...as I do them. I could just "be" and that was OK. I didn't have to impress, or check with anyone if what I was doing or saying, or sitting, or standing was acceptable....doesn't matter. They're my tribe, we speak the same language.

They're not necessarily "like me" at all...probably vastly different in some cases...doesn't matter. Might be a bit boring if they were all cardboard cut-outs exactly like me wouldn't it?

[quirkywords]

Moon thanks for describing about your tribe. I dont think I have met mine as the only place i feel like you described is when I am with books.

[Jstar49]

Hi,

When I met my in-laws I felt like that, comfortable, not having to second guess. Then I guess I stuffed up, or over time, their own struggles, getting to know each other better, that changed. My SIL had some tough feedback for me one day, and our relationship never fully recovered. Seems like my strong personality had made her hold back some honesty, which was painful when it was finally expressed.

People are people.! Not perfect! Changeable. Sometimes we are likable, sometimes anything but. It takes a lot of acceptance, I think. On all parts.

I am glad for your experiences with your tribe moonstruck. It sounds like heaps of fun, and it's inspiring to know that you can be yourself and feel fully accepted. That is truly a worthwhile feeling to have.

Quirky, books are THE BEST! I love to lose myself in stories. I def feel more connected to humanity in someone else's story.

Cheers,

J*

[Elizabeth CP]

I liked Moon's description of her tribe. It reminds us what we should be looking for in the people we should spend time with but also how to treat others around us.

• Don't expect others to be identical to us. Other ideas, point of view and skills can be a real benefit. A friend of mine married someone opposite her. She was fun loving while he was very serious. They both respected each others different personality rather than stifling it. His serious side helped her not get too carried away while her fun loving brightened his life up.
• Seek out people who are compatible. ie those who not only accept but appreciate your qualities. We can do the same to those about us by accepting their differences.
• Try to look at your own characteristics in a positive light rather than thinking you need to be the same as tne norm

[quirkywords]

Hello Elizabeth and all who are reading,

I like your post especially these words below.

“Try to look at your own characteristics in a positive light rather than thinking you need to be the same as the norm”.

I don’t want to be the same , I like being different but it can be lonely.

[ecomama]

Hey BBers,

Ugh to being the same as the norm, have you been OUT there lately??
No thanks.

Great tip Elizabeth CP.

Sure I like myself.

During Counselling this week, I said wouldn't it be awesome if I LOVED myself just as much as I love eating strawberries?
I also added how much I love mozzie coils - I was on my balcony during the phone session.
LOL after the laughing subsided, it's TRUE.... why not?

My life would be so less enjoyable without strawberries and mozzie coils.

I realised I've been gifted another day.
I'm so grateful for that!
I'm enjoying it whatever I do.

Hey blondguy Paul, hope you're travelling well. xxxx

Love EM

[quirkywords]

I was wondering if anyone has difficulty liking oneself when they do silly things like dropping glasses, making a mess of things, forgetting things et etc

I tend to be clumsy due to medication but I feel embarassed when I drop things in front of strangers.

[TheBigBlue]

Got the blues this week, so not feeling the love for myself at all.

But I DO love all the posters in this thread, you are all so caring & encouraging.

Thanks team 😎