Do you forgive?

[Guest_1055]

Feeling hesitant about writing this and little scared of what people will think about me, a fear of being rejected I think. Well here goes.

Just today I have been thinking about forgiveness, forgiving the people who hurt us, let us down, or bring us pain in any other way. And I think forgiving actually helps us.

So what I aim to do, as a strategy to get rid of bitterness from within me is to:

1. Grap an apple or a potato from the kitchen.

2. I am off to see what I have got, yeah I have an apple that is going soft.

3. Write on the apple or whatever you have chosen " I forgive you" and draw a smiley face, that is what I did, and it is looking right back at me now.

4. Think of that person that has hurt you, and say I forgive you....... for hurting me.

5. And then I will go to the ocean, because I live near there. Walk down to the waves, and use all my physical strength and throw the apple as far as a can. "Just let in go"

Note:  If anyone tries this strategy from beyond blue, and I come across an apple on the beach. I will toss it back in for you.

Not sure of the outcome of this strategy yet, but I will keep you posted if you would like.

Also if you are not near an ocean, maybe you could choose a paddock.

OK going to post this now, still scared of what people will think of me."Rejection"

[Guest_1055]

Hello

I just read a post by a member who calls herself "hope4joy" It is in a thread titled Do positive affirmations work.... started by lats. 

Anyway this dear person wrote a paragraph about forgiving yourself. I thought it was way good..... And it certainly encouraged me. So just thought I would mention it in case anyone is interested.

It's in the depression forum.

Hugs

Shelley xxx

[Durras]

Hi Shelly,

Thank you for your beautiful response and glad to know I am not a lone. I too have difficulty holding myself around people, if I'm standing I need something to hold onto cause I'm so uncomfortable and then I'm shuffling from foot to foot and my body is all tense and when I speak I thinking I'm not making much sense or I haven't responded in the way I should or could have and my responses are very quick and short then I move away.

Chicken Wing gave me some wonderful advice for going into my first Grow meeting and that is taking little steps and planning each step to make it easier. I did find this helpful and will try it for Xmas day but oh my gosh the thought of having to speak with people and knowing how my mind is makes it hard. At least with the Grow meeting I knew within  me they could understand me. Even the thought of it now is tensing me up.

Again Shelly thankyou for your lovely reply and Big Hug to you

Durras X

[Guest_1055]

Yeah I know about the need to hold on to something, for me it is like a sense of security. And you need something do to with your hands or something. I am also no good at small talk. 

Well I don't know what else to say to you. Only that care.

Hugs

Shelley xx

[MisterM]

Hi Shelley anne,

Yeah I am very sensitive and take a lot to heart. I think we may be alike.
I also have trouble controlling my anger, the punch holes in my bedroom doors and holes from throwing objects also are testament to that, ashamedly.
Anger and hurt stews around in me. I still am angry at my sister for the way she's treated me months, years ago.

Thank you for replying.

xx to you too.

[Guest_1055]

Hello MisterM

yeah anger can be destructive, I understand about the holes in the wall too. One time, the anger built up in my heart so bad, because I had not dealt with it properly that I just lashed out and with one forcefull swipe, I cleared all the stuff of the bedside table onto the floor. But I could have easily smashed the wall. I have also just thrown things inside the house. It is certainly a hard emotion to have to deal with.

I think with me, and I am also wondering if it is the same for you, is that somehow some people don't learn how to deal with some emotions, like we feel a certain way, and don't know what to do with the feeling, because no body showed us. What do you think? I would like to know your thoughts.

A have come to the conclusion that when we get angry, it is an indication that we need, desire or want something and don't get it. So I am guessing for you, it could be your desire to want your sister to treat you kindly, instead she doesn't treat you that way. 

I am not sure what else to write, but I do truly care about you. 

With hugs

Shelley xx

[Simona]

Forgiveness is a curious thing. For me, it is almost a mechanical action like suturing a bleed.

"Here; I forgive you. So you can stop feeling bad now.   You hurt me however I now feel you are worthy of my forgiveness and so will absolve you off your guilt and you will thank me.    Just don't ever play me again"

 But other times depending on the hurt feeling gauge meter - I have avenged and then forgiven in that order and life winds on happily.      The hurtee  never asked for pardon but his pardon was not required because the game of 'even Stevens' levelled out the playing field.

 Lastly there are those individuals that have wronged me in my more innocent years but I have absolutely no emotions linked to those memories.   None at all.  That's not to say I'm ok with what happened  it's just that I feel almost comatose when I see the faces

[Guest_1055]

Oh Simona

I am so happy you wrote in here, for I was missing you. Hope you are OK today.

And I am now wondering when you choose to forgive that person that hurt you, do you then feel less hurt or free.

I was just going to give you a hug, but I am thinking that you prefer a gentle pat on the back. If my memory is correct.

Are you still going to the art class?

With love to you sweet Simona

Shelley xx

[MisterM]

Hi Shelley anne,

I grew up with an abusive mother who would beat her kids bad.
I never saw a peaceful parent who was in control of her emotions.
My mum's brother was the same from what I saw when I met him once overseas, he started throwing things around, it scared me.
I have always had trouble dealing with my anger to stop me from exploding.
Thank you for your kind words.

[Guest_1055]

Hello Mister M

Are you saying you got beat real bad? Because if you are.... well that brings sadness to my heart. I am truly sorry Mister M. If I knew you back then, I would have held you in a hug and told you how precious you were. I am sorry you felt scared to, when you visited your mum's brother. I am not sure what else to say, except that I do care.

Many hugs to you

Shelley xx

[MisterM]

Hi Shelley anne,

Not that bad, but I did get it with hard objects, chased around.

My sister copped it worse.

Thank you for your kind words.
Hugs.

M