BEING POSITIVE what's the secret?

[white knight]

When the world is evil, people are cruel and nothing works out for you.How can you possibly rise up above it all?

We live on a cliff face. At any moment we could fall over it. I know now that by being positive I will never fall over it even though I still sit on that cliff edge.It's a paradox but that cliff face is a reminder of where I could have ended up had I not changed my thinking. I was programmed a boy of doom and gloom. I had to erase the tape and reboot.

There are two ways of changing from a negative person to a positive one. The first is shock. Attending a lecture or having a serious event in your life take place whereby you snap into positivity. The second is slowly changing your thinking process over time.

Whenever you are faced with a negative you have to replace it with a positive. How do we do that. It isnt easy and for some it isnt obvious at all. Here are some examples-

I'm miserable because its cold and raining outside - I'm happy that I'm warm and dry inside in front of a fire

My brother died at 27 and I was only 24yo - I'm proud of my brothers achievements over such a short life

I baked a cake and it was a failure - I baked a cake and left the egg out, I'll do better ext time

I had to wait at the doctors for 2 hours - The doctor might have had an emergency

I cant get out of bed - I am unwell today, I'm hoping I'll feel better tomorrow

I've been branded a snob - I am a quiet person but I am kind and considerate and dont need to prove it

You get the picture. It takes practice.  Some tragedies arent easy to swallow. We live in the country and seeing animals killed on the side of the road is hurtful. My wife and I tend to say to each other "well, if they were injured we'd get them to the refuge to give them a chance". 

Give it a go. Be persistent.  You will drop back into negativity often but keep trying. In the end like me you will sit on that cliff edge but one day you'll take a peak over the edge to realise the drop is only a few feet, not the kilometres it used to be.

[white knight]

Hi all,

Well here I was a few days ago on this thread trying to inject some positive thoughts among you and also being realistic. Then the depression hit me. Luckily for about 24 hours.

My depression used to come around every 8 weeks or so and last for about 10 days. I dont  know if my dysthymia was at work during this period but the 10 days were really sad and I would throw myself into my poetry.

This 24 hours of depression was a reminder of how those 10 day periods used to be. Since those days I've changed a lot in my life. I got a proper diagnosis in 2009 which led to proper medication, I've married a beaut lady who also has depression and we help each other when one of us is down, I've moved to the country- a big plus with reduced stress, my kids have grown up, my friendships have gotten stronger or they didnt survive etc etc. Facebook friends went from 180 to 45.

What that day recently gave me was a reminder of how crippling depression is. I felt guilty that I have been preaching positivity but when push comes to shove.....real depression can be so negative....positive thoughts aren't effective. I think one must wait until some of the depression has lifted before you can capitalise on the slightest positive ideas that you imagine.

I'm learning more and more about myself and the mind of the mentally ill- my mind. This will enable me to help others on this forum better. Yep, a positive comes out of a day that was so negative.

[JessF]

Hello white knight, I think you are right, that you can't 'think' your way out of a depression episode but the older you get and the more you learn you have the confidence to know it will lift, and like you I find that when it hits it lasts for less time. The postiive thoughts thing doesn't work for me because you're fighting against your brain, like trying to get out of a maze by walking through the walls instead of navigating the corridors.  It's a question of, what else can I do to ride out this period... the lift is broken? I'll take the stairs.

[AGrace]

I personally think positivity comes when you can accept that positive and negative can exist together. You can have positive moments in a negative day, you can have 5 negative thoughts and one positive thought. The mind is quite powerful and is naturally geared to think of negative situations as a means of survival - preparing for the worst, allowing us to problem solve. This is heightened when we feel down, because the brain has gone into complete problem solve mode. 

More than having positive thoughts "I am a really good person", "Today will be an amazing day", I think it's important to have a few positive core beliefs "I believe in myself", "I believe in helping other people" etc. The feel good feeling then comes when we are living in line with those valued core beliefs. 

Anyway this is just my viewpoint:)

[white knight]

Hi JessF and Agrace.

Gee this thread is beneficial for me and hopefully others. So fruitful. Thankyou.