Be Yourself but who am I?

[quirkywords]

I have often been told to just be myself but then I am encouraged to be softer, think less, eat less, worry less, relax more , exercise more, be more confident, less timid, less cautious, more adventurous,less selfish, stop being a people pleaser, be happier, be kinder , ask less questions and the list goes on.

I find this confusing if I am to be myself why must I change?

The other problem is who am I, which self should I be: the introvert, the extrovert, the cautious, the risk-taker, the overthinker, the fast talker, the quiet one, the indecisive one, the spontaneous one, the carefree one, the worried one, the selfish one, the altruistic one, and much more.

Thse two words be yourself seem so easy for many people but not for me as it fills me with many questions.

I will limit myself to two questions .

Can you be yourself without changing?

Is it possible to change/improve a part of yourself and still be yourself?

Quirky

[quirkywords]

Zen

Thanks so much for your reply. I like the way you write.

what a wonderful detailed informative post. I like your line

it is the role that changes but I am still me

I love the description eternal adventurous seeker- wonderful and it has inspired my question to day.

Can you describe yourself in 3 words?

Use more words if you need to. Do your descriptions change depending on your mood?

Right now I would say I am

dreaming hopeful thinker

but my this afternoon it may have changed!

Kind thoughts to all

Quirky

[quirkywords]

Pepper

Can you use your adventurous side in other ways than travel ? Explore locally or be adventurous in trying things you haven't done before . I feel you have tried creative things that I would consider adventurous, just a thought.

Quirky

[quirkywords]

Just thinking about who we are on this forum?

Are we the same online and offline?

We sometimes think people are doing well because they write a lot and care about others and they put up a strong front but really the very people we see as being the strongest are in need of our support.

I think I come across as maybe needy and confused as I ask many questions.

Quirky

[Guest_3712]

Hi Quirky,

In my opinion you come across as very intelligent, with a rare insight into matters of the mind and heart. You ask questions that warrant a lot of thought and consideration, not just for us but yourself.

As for how we differ in the real world as opposed to on -line, well for one thing I don't put on makeup and do my hair to talk to you guys here, so au naturale for appearance, ( Sorry a little humour )

attitude- I used to be a take charge kind of person in the real world, something that took a mighty battering due to my MI, but I feel I'm gaining confidence here in the forums because I feel mostly comfortable among my peers, and able to express myself without fear of criticism.

authenticity- I had been told in my previous life I was a nurturing person, strong but fair, loyal and a good friend - Of course I never believed it , because I was/ am sometimes still, convinced I am bad/ evil/ useless etc.

So when I hear now on these forums similar statements then I can only surmise, possibly, maybe, there is a teeny tiny chance I am this person both on- line and not.

The plot thickens

Stressless

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Quirky,

Thanks, I appreciate the suggestions. It's interesting that you say that I'm creatively "adventurous"...I have never really seen myself as such...maybe a tad experimental at times lol. Thanks again 🙂

Pepper xx

[quirkywords]

Stressless

thanks for your well thought out post.

Attitude and authenticity are traits to look for in people.

I think my attitude changes daily, but I hope I am always authentic.

Thanks for your kind words, it is hard to see ourselves how others see us,

Pepper,

Try that description and see where it leads.

Quirky

[Babyboomer]

When I think about who I am, I guess being a mum is the first thing I think of. But there's more to me than that. For the most part, I see myself as a strong, independent woman who is capable and intelligent. However, when anxiety hits, I feel like a frightened child who just wants her mum. Then I think about my achievements and figure I've done pretty well irrespective of bouts of anxiety. A single working mum, I raised 2 boys from age 4 and 6yo; bought a house; eventually subdivided and had a new house built in the back garden; had my own business. I'm now retired, debt free and have travelled quite a bit! Not bad for (as my psych says) an obsessive old chook! I hate getting the collywobles, but I guess it's part of who I am.

I am so grateful for BB and the encouraging support and insight posted on the forums. You guys rock!

[quirkywords]

Babyboomer

I am glad even with your anxiety you can see and value and recognise your achievements. That is a huge accomplishment.

I am an old chook too and I think this forum is very helpful.

Quirky

[Guest_3712]

Hey Quirky and Pepper,

Where are you guys? The party is on over at the Circle , celebrating victories big and small and the contributions of our CC's

See you there

Stressless

[Zenobia]

Hi Pepper, nice to meet you.

Thank you for your too kind message on my post...

Yes escapism... some people do it in books, some in movies, some in music, some in travel, some in whatever hobby they have, some bury themselves in work. I guess whatever it is that gives you peace and distraction is valuable.

Travel for me was probably instilled in me from all those adventure/mystery/detective books I read as a child. Amazingly, I grew up in the most stable family environment you could imagine, my parents were a true love match and i never saw them fight. So much stability and quiet lit the match of desire for adventure perhaps. Ah humans so fickle, always want what you don't have.

Now, believe it or not, I have just been offered to go to Egyot with my Egyptian friends....so so tempted.

I hope adventure comes knocking on your door Pepper and when it does, grab it!

Thanks again,

Zen