Be Yourself but who am I?

[quirkywords]

I have often been told to just be myself but then I am encouraged to be softer, think less, eat less, worry less, relax more , exercise more, be more confident, less timid, less cautious, more adventurous,less selfish, stop being a people pleaser, be happier, be kinder , ask less questions and the list goes on.

I find this confusing if I am to be myself why must I change?

The other problem is who am I, which self should I be: the introvert, the extrovert, the cautious, the risk-taker, the overthinker, the fast talker, the quiet one, the indecisive one, the spontaneous one, the carefree one, the worried one, the selfish one, the altruistic one, and much more.

Thse two words be yourself seem so easy for many people but not for me as it fills me with many questions.

I will limit myself to two questions .

Can you be yourself without changing?

Is it possible to change/improve a part of yourself and still be yourself?

Quirky

[quirkywords]

Later

I listen I do. I said in a previous post how you picked up on perspective.

I have said and she knows I will talk on anything but parenting- I rarely mention my children here or in talks.

I hear you but as you know children can pull all those feelings of not being a good enough mother and all reason flies out window!!

In her first message she said she would understand if I did not want to do it as it would be confronting but obviously she expected a yes.

Second message - I put part in my previous email.

I appreciate the support .

I will work this out and stop being so self indulgent.

I appreciate Later your down to earth and honest input. I suppose when emotions are stirred it is hard to think clearly.

Quirky

[Guest_128]

What does stop being so self indulgent mean?

[quirkywords]

I mean I am carrying on with my own problems when others are suffering so much more.

Just when you think you have life worked out a small curve ball comes and gets you.

Quirky

[Guest_128]

I don't give a crap how big or little the problem is,

1 I like you

2 it's still about us and mental health.

3 for most of us ,we here are the only ones that understand.

4 If you are going to show me and others that what is bothering us is not worthy of asking for help.

5 what's the point,it's just like the outside world.

so pull your head in,for me it makes me feel wanted. Now I am crying.

And when I said no one listens I was talking about the others.

Later

[Guest_128]

Sorry you know I can't write properly

[Guest_3712]

Hey you guys should do an act together, and before I shake you both everyones problems are of equal importance especially if it is impacting on your health- this is what we are here for.

I almost had a panic attack because I couldn't find my keys ! To others no big deal . To me who is so anal about punctuality it was almost the end of the world. No to trivialise your problems just making a point - and now look I will be late if I don't move

Catch you both later

Sorry I sound a bit bossy today- it must be the cold , gets me all cranky

Stressless

[quirkywords]

Later,

you write well and it touched me. Thank you, you make so much sense.

I never had a sensible older sister or any sister at all.

Thanks

Quirky

[quirkywords]

Stressless

our act will be called Later and Quirky or Later Quirky.

Stressless don't start me on losing keys and handbags and purses!!

Thanks so much for all the support here. You are so right Later, people here understand and are here for each other.

[Guest_128]

I haven't a sister ether I have a brother 3yrs older and we used to be the best of friends.

[lucagabriella]

Quirky, I agree with Later!! No one gives a crap about how little or big your problem is!

Everyone here is here for that purpose - to share and to talk about the things that are bothering you, regardless of what they are.

You are not being self-indulgent.

Later, I hope I didn't make you feel like I was not listening to you. If you don't mind me asking, why do you say "used" to?

- lucagabriella