Be Yourself but who am I?

[quirkywords]

I have often been told to just be myself but then I am encouraged to be softer, think less, eat less, worry less, relax more , exercise more, be more confident, less timid, less cautious, more adventurous,less selfish, stop being a people pleaser, be happier, be kinder , ask less questions and the list goes on.

I find this confusing if I am to be myself why must I change?

The other problem is who am I, which self should I be: the introvert, the extrovert, the cautious, the risk-taker, the overthinker, the fast talker, the quiet one, the indecisive one, the spontaneous one, the carefree one, the worried one, the selfish one, the altruistic one, and much more.

Thse two words be yourself seem so easy for many people but not for me as it fills me with many questions.

I will limit myself to two questions .

Can you be yourself without changing?

Is it possible to change/improve a part of yourself and still be yourself?

Quirky

[Moonstruck]

CMF....I know just what you mean. You have a blank page, or sort of, you have the basic essence of "you" who has triumphed over a long series of traumatic situations.  I have been floundering not knowing who I am for the past few years since I lost my partner.  I lost "me" as well.    I recently agreed to take part in something that required me to push myself to the limit and have been my "old me, my true me" for the first time in so long.  It has been liberating.  I chose the right thing obviously to start off my "new story".  There is no hurry for you but I promise it will be worthwhile and you will feel so much "lighter" and loving meeting up with the old "you" again who has been waiting in the shadows to put her arms around you.....good luck xx

[CMF]

Thanks Moon,

Funny thing is when I was with M I wasn't ME. Not completely.  I was who I thought he wanted me to be. I was me as in I didn't pretend to like cars & cycling or his footy team like sis did but I also was not completely relaxed. Now I think of it, maybe I was more ME than I realised & I wasn't completely comfortable cos we didn't really connect? He loved that I was real, down to earth, loving, considerate, could read a room. Yes, he said he loved all this but I still felt I had to be something else for him. It was a battle between who I am & who I felt I had to be for him. Clearly he couldn't handle the authentic, honest, real me cos it meant he had to look at who he is & what he's offering. 

Interesting...

[CMF]

So I had a few nice compliments this weekend.  Bumped into a work colleague whom I've only gotten to know recently. She told my little miss that I work very hard. This recognition was lovely coming from someone I haven't known long. I met a friend for coffee & she told me I look great & loves my longer hair & the colour. Lastly I updated my FB pic & had lovely comments from people I haven't seen for a while. One said I haven't changed or aged & have the same pretty face. It was nice to be appreciated for me. For WHO I AM. It was nice that others see me that way.  When I was with M I felt I looked old & tired. I didn't like how I looked or who I'd become. Now, people who don't know me well or haven't seen me for a while are complimenting me for what they see in me. I need to see this in myself. This is who I am. 

[quirkywords]

 Cmf

there is a saying that gives something like

to see ourselves as other see us.
Or as Robert Burns wrote

“o wad some pow'r the giftie gie us to see oursels as ithers see us!”

I

I can feel you are different and stronger .Accept what people can see in you.

You have been through a lot in last few years but you have learnt a lot.

[CMF]

The last 2 days I've been told my nails look nice, my hair is nice & love my handbag. The handbag cost me $5! Compliments are flowing but these one are genuine,  not being said to get something out of me.

[quirkywords]

  Cmf

I hope you feel better today. I a. Glad you can accept these compliments as being genuine. 

[CMF]

Dear Quirky, 

Haven't seen you around for a while. I hope all is OK

Cmf x

[quirkywords]

Cmf

thanks for asking. I have had a difficult week with physical pain and dizziness etc and other personal relationship issues. I am ok . I also had problems with loggin in and passwords grrrr

[CMF]

Dear Quirky, 

Sorry to hear you've been unwell & experiencing other difficulties.  I fo hope things improve for you. 

Here if you need.

Cmf x

[CMF]

I'm enjoying being me at the moment.  I feel at peace & calm. I feel I may be getting back to my old self after a turbulent 12 months. I'm ready to let go of the past, of HIM, of the hurt. It's peaceful. It's nice. I want to be ME. I can only do this by being on my own. I want the peace.