Be Yourself but who am I?

[quirkywords]

I have often been told to just be myself but then I am encouraged to be softer, think less, eat less, worry less, relax more , exercise more, be more confident, less timid, less cautious, more adventurous,less selfish, stop being a people pleaser, be happier, be kinder , ask less questions and the list goes on.

I find this confusing if I am to be myself why must I change?

The other problem is who am I, which self should I be: the introvert, the extrovert, the cautious, the risk-taker, the overthinker, the fast talker, the quiet one, the indecisive one, the spontaneous one, the carefree one, the worried one, the selfish one, the altruistic one, and much more.

Thse two words be yourself seem so easy for many people but not for me as it fills me with many questions.

I will limit myself to two questions .

Can you be yourself without changing?

Is it possible to change/improve a part of yourself and still be yourself?

Quirky

[quirkywords]

Moon, yes I have a book shop and gifts and bits and pieces. You can joint my tribe of book lovers. I love your descriptions of books and libraries.

Elizabeth, thanks for your post and your thoughtful answer. I think we need to consider when we are asked to conform if it suits ur values. Thanks for making that point.

[quirkywords]

Good day everyone,

Very windy here.

Do you think constantly feeling tired due to restless sleep, vivid dreams and thinking too much, and any other reason, makes one a different person to the one the one would be if one had enough sleep?

I just seem so irritable and impatient even though I accept I never sleep well.

Any thoughts most welcome.

Quirky

[Just Sara]

Well, 7 pages later and I finally turn up for a chat. Six pages of sorry's and apologies Quirky...

Yes, it's windy here and bloody cold too. Still in my Sunday Jammies reheating coffee as I type. I guess that's the benefit to living alone. If it was Summer, I might be in my undies! lol

I'd like to answer your question with a question if that's ok. Have you sought help from your GP for sleep disturbances? If not, please consider it. Although many are afraid of taking too many med's when it comes to depression/anxiety, sleep is our most powerful asset. So something to settle those dreams, overthinking and waking at inconvenient times has its place.

I'm no stranger to sleeping problems as I suffered for 20 yrs before I found the cause. I had med's to take every few days or so to give me energy and a clear mind to last until I took the next one. I didn't take them everyday as I was scared of becoming addicted.

These days there's a broader choice of med's that not only give better quality sleep, but also tackle anxiety/depression symptoms by balancing brain chemicals. I still take a (not so addictive) anti anxiety medication a couple of hrs before bed here and there if I'm struggling due to life's ups and downs. I don't feel guilty about it either. Quality sleep, quality life.

I hope this helps hun. Your thread seems to be going gang-busters. How amazing for you. I'm sorry again for not joining in earlier, but I'm either working hard or hardly working as they say. Trying to keep up with threads and newbies takes its toll at times, so if I don't write on here as often as I'd like, please don't be upset ok.

Loving thoughts...

Sara xo

[quirkywords]

Sara

wonderful to see your name but no apologies or I will feel guilty for making you feel the need to apologise!!

If I could serve customers in my shop in jammies I would, I do often wear slippers!!

Thanks for your advice. Without going into the too much information territory I have a medical problem which means I have to wake up a lot in the night to go to the bathroom then can't get back to sleep.

So tablets don't help. I have tried herbal remedies and lots of other ideas. I have been to specialists etc but nothing helps. The good thing is I am not in pain as I used to be.

What worries me is if did get a decent sleep and I was still cranky and impatient what could I blame them??

Your support means a lot.

Quirky

[white knight]

Hi Quirky

My dear wife and I both get more irritable with lack of sleep. I've had 3 sleep studies and my last one found moderate sleep apnea meaning using a cpap (air pump). This resulted in no longer being starved of oxygen as I sleep due to stopping breathing.

However these step plus mood stabilisers have not veased my bad moods, irritability or snappiness. Then again I'm bipolar3, dysthymic and have depression and anxiety.

Oh, by the way, I dont wear anything in bed but tell no one because a nude white knight will ruin my reputation...:)

Tony WK

[Guest_3712]

Hi all,

Oh sleep blessed sleep ! I cant remember ever sleeping more than 4 hours at a time- unless heavily medicated ie on an operating table under anaesthetic - but waking in pain is no fun .

So I also have terrible sleeplessness nights - every night. Due to my addiction issues , not a lot I can take now and even when some put me to sleep I never stayed asleep. I stay up really late, so very tired, don't drink tea or coffee few hours before bed but no go.

I am also irritable in the morning if I have someone at me asking questions or are overly happy first thing- so annoying ! If I am left to wake up slowly, cup of tea, check forums, emails, news, another cup of tea , cuddle with dog , hot shower then I'm good to go . I can get by on a few hours sleep but would love to know how id feel after 8 or 9 uninterrupted hours or heaven forbid a sleep in !

Any ideas gladly received- Oh ive tried meditation tapes, music, candles, alcohol etc etc

Stressless

[quirkywords]

Tony,

I didn't know there was a bipolar 3. I don't even know what number I had I was diagnosed when it was called manic depressive. A nude Knight your secret is safe with me. Thanks for your reply.

Stressless, I can feel for you. I have not slept for more than 3 hrs at a time since 1982. I am grateful most nights to sleep more 2 hrs at a time instead of waking up every 30 mins!!

I too have tried many things but as I have a medical condition I just accept it and try to stay awake. Thanks for your contribution.

Quirky

[Zenobia]

My post disappeared right before my eyes! Will try to re-create (it's never the same as the first inspiration though is it?)

Hi all,

I read my thread yesterday after a couple weeks absence and was so moved and changed by what was there waiting for me!

It led to me having the best nights sleep since this all began for me. It also led to my day being the one with the least "obsessive intrusive" thoughts.

I thank you all for your advice and thoughts. It is unfortunate that you have all had to go through so much to have led to helping me.

Who am I? I used to be the eternal optimist and my colleagues have sorely missed that in me lately. I will try to find that next.

Who else am I? Mother, daughter, sister, colleague, helper, nice neighbour, confidante, advisor, listener, getting a tad deaf too...

Who should I be? The good bits of me being taught by the bad bits of me how to be better...(make sense?)

Who do I want to be? Just me.

Who should you be? You. All the different bits of you that bring you here and that you share with us, help us, and give comfort to us, and make such a huge difference to people's lives, people you have never met but show such compassion for !

Thanks and love, kisses and comforting hugs to you all,

Zenobia x

[quirkywords]

Zenobia,

Thanks for your reply. It is annoying that it is always our log and best posts that disappear!! Your post was very thoughtful and honest.

I realise you have done much self examining recently and your openness through your thread and on here has helped others . I learn much from your willingness to give of yourself and your skill with words.

I liked your list of all the people who are and I am sure there are more.

Thanks again

Quirky

[quirkywords]

Greetings everyone,

something Zenobia prompted this question.

Who else am I? Consider the roles we have in life.

I am mother, sister, aunt , partner, great aunt, cousin, business owner, friend, neighbour,

volunteer, public speaker, blogger, listmaker, an apologiser, a listener, a friend in need, a collector , a book lover, a chocolate lover, a walker, a thinker, a talker, a reader, etc

See what your list reveals. I wondered do you past roles- am I no longer a daughter since I am an orphan?

I look forward to your lists and what they reveal about you.

Quirky