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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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CMF Changing habits
  • replies: 10

Changing habits can be hard. We get up the same time every day, do the same things the same way. Same old, same old, we become programmed to doing things a certain way, like a robot. Sometimes we need to reassess these daily habits. I read an article... View more

Changing habits can be hard. We get up the same time every day, do the same things the same way. Same old, same old, we become programmed to doing things a certain way, like a robot. Sometimes we need to reassess these daily habits. I read an article once about how much money we could save if we only bought what we absolutely needed, no more impulsive buys of things we don't need. I always use my debit card to pay for things. I rarely carry cash, just tap or swipe and off i go. Trouble with this is we can lose track of spending until we look at our bank balance. $5 here, $2 there, oh look, thats on sale I'll just get it 'just in case'. I've decided to change this. I have set myself a daily budget (subject to adjustment). From now on my goal is to withdraw money for the week based on my daily budget. I will no longer tap or swipe my card but try and stick to using cash only. My budget includes groceries, petrol and my daily chai and necessities for the kids. If I don't use the allocated amount each day I hang onto it, if i go over it means I have less for the next day. The aim of this is to not live down to the last cent every week and what is left in the account hopefully grow and help pay bills or cover any 'wants' now and then. It makes me conscious of what i am buying and thinking' do i really need this'. It also makes me conscious of what i buy at the supermarket, looking for items on sale and cheaper options. I am one of those people who will see a top on sale for $5 or a bag or shoes for $10 and think 'wow what a bargain,I'll just get it" I have found that these bargains tend to sit in the cupboard, then get moved to the shed when I have a clean out and eventually go to the brotherhood bin because i never used them. I'm an emotional shopper, i buy little things because it makes me feel good. My goal is to change this habit . If i am bored and feel the urge to go shopping I may clean out a cupboard instead or clean up the garden. I have enough of everything i need. I'm hoping this new habit will improve the way i feel as i see I am achieving something and maybe even not going down to the last cent every week which is depressing and causes more emotional spending. I also want to get a container and each day put $1 in it. Just $1. By the end of the year that is $365. I really want to do this. If I can stick to this and I am still struggling then i need to look at what needs to change. Do you have any habits you want to change? CMF

meercat Clearing clutter and clatter in your life
  • replies: 31

Have you noticed clutter and clatter around your place? *is your house like a typhoon hit it and full of clutter? *is Your mind full of clatter.. problems, media clatter, family clatter telling you how you should do things, be, say, act. Yes, i know ... View more

Have you noticed clutter and clatter around your place? *is your house like a typhoon hit it and full of clutter? *is Your mind full of clatter.. problems, media clatter, family clatter telling you how you should do things, be, say, act. Yes, i know google can tell us what to do.. but you might like to take a moment and look around your home, your head. Its meercat den cleaning month here at the moment, my home is breeding notebooks..notes everywhere..what to do, what to say,where to go. You know the kind of stuff, neat piles of it.. but lots of it, articles from the 80's. Magazines, recipes, things to do..i could not use them in a lifetime. The clatter.. no one needs to tell me what to do..i already have an army of meercats chattering in my head. How to remedy this situation..you tell me!! Cheers meercat xx

romantic_thi3f Last thing that made you smile?
  • replies: 11

Hi all What made you smile today? Doesn't matter if it's big or small or whether it's one or a hundred things. If you can't think of anything hopefully reading this list might make you smile. I'll start 1. My dog. His name is Buddy and we adopted him... View more

Hi all What made you smile today? Doesn't matter if it's big or small or whether it's one or a hundred things. If you can't think of anything hopefully reading this list might make you smile. I'll start 1. My dog. His name is Buddy and we adopted him. He likes to follow me around the house and he's great company. Whenever I let him in from outside he jumps up on me for a cuddle. 2. Cadbury Creme Eggs were on special at Coles. Yay for budgeting and yay for chocolate. 3. The quote "The human body is 90% water so we're basically cucumbers with anxiety".

white knight Illusion vs imagination vs reality
  • replies: 4

When my depression was at its peak, I found it almost impossible to do some of the basic tasks. Gardening, a walk, washing the dog and shopping. My problem was the weakness of my mind, fear and loss of confidence. Fear of what? Well, more a feeling o... View more

When my depression was at its peak, I found it almost impossible to do some of the basic tasks. Gardening, a walk, washing the dog and shopping. My problem was the weakness of my mind, fear and loss of confidence. Fear of what? Well, more a feeling of safety within my home. The place I was regrouping. So to overcome this uncontrolled mind of mine I set about imagining things. When gardening I'd imagine running along a beach, riding a motorbike or a horse. After a while it became a habit. Great advancement came when my therapist asked me about my newfound method of overcoming such hurdles. I talked, he listened. Finally he suggested that the reason I was in fear, bound to my home etc was my state of mind in that I wasnt being realistic with my thoughts. If I was real I wouldn't be in fear walking around a town of 200 people, wouldnt be worried when doing tasks like gardening and not be worried about crowds if I shopped early in the week. Sometimes we need to discipline ourselves, take control and chastise our thoughts to be real. Failure to do that is like letting a scrambled mind do as it pleases. Dont let random thoughts control common natural operation of your mind. Temporary thoughts to overcome a hurdle is ok but if you garden, focus on gardening, go for a walk then observe what you see and so on. Such focus takes practice. Every boat needs a rudder....fix your rudder... Tony WK

Croix Thank you Community Champions
  • replies: 12

Dear Community Champions, I would like to offer you all my sincerest thanks and tell you of my admiration. Now at Christmas it seems the appropriate time to do so. I joined the forums a couple of years ago, knowing nothing about bb and just expecting... View more

Dear Community Champions, I would like to offer you all my sincerest thanks and tell you of my admiration. Now at Christmas it seems the appropriate time to do so. I joined the forums a couple of years ago, knowing nothing about bb and just expecting to have a quick browse. The quality of your efforts to assist, the breadth of your knowledge, the empathy and caring you display and your tenacity to keep going no matter how difficult a post may be to answer have been a source of information, comfort and inspiration to me, and I’m sure to a multitude of others. You started out as vague names and avatars, but over time it has become obvious that you are human - and have your own problems with which to deal, despite which you lead others. You were and continue to be a real and enduring help. I hope this Christmas is one you can look back on with fondness. Croix December 25, 2016

white knight My Christmas story
  • replies: 30

It was in 1994. I was 36yo and my father had recently passed away. I had two daughters6 and 3yo and had been unemployed for 2 years. Xmas was looking bleak, we were poor and I found it impossible to find work. I was good with handyman work though and... View more

It was in 1994. I was 36yo and my father had recently passed away. I had two daughters6 and 3yo and had been unemployed for 2 years. Xmas was looking bleak, we were poor and I found it impossible to find work. I was good with handyman work though and my mind went into mania mode...I found a way I could give my girls a great xmas. I designed the perfect cubby house. It had dormer windows, was portable and painted bright colours. Pink with grey and green with cream. Or any colour they ordered. I built one and took it to a town show and kids wouldnt get out of it. Mums had to drag them out. I knew I was onto something. This idea was my temporary saviour. Because my marriage was on the rocks and I had little idea of my mental illnesses. All I knew was I was going downhill fast. I withdrew our last dollars to buy more floorboards and advertised in the trading post. Two weeks later I had orders for14 cubbies all to be delivered xmas eve. I frantically began to build and borrow more money to buy more materials. I toiled for 19 hours a day. Xmas eve arrived and at 4am I woke to a "town" of brightly coloured cubbies on our backyard where my daughters had played for the last few weeks. One by one they were delivered all over the Victorian state towed by my old trusty Ford Zephyr. 19 hours later I had the last cubby on the trailer bound for Melbourne 2 hours away. I was spent, exhausted but I was estatic. My pocket was full of money...around $8000 of which $2000 was to be repaid in materials. I delivered the cubby. The parents of that lucky girl got me to eat santas carrot cake and in front of this couple I burst into tears totally overcome and exhausted. I drove home and a few kilometres from home I realised I'd forgotten to buy my daughters a xmas gift. All our money had gone into building materials and I was so busy delivering cubbies- I'd forgot. I drove another hour to arrive at a service station at a town named Kalkallo on the outskirts of Melbourne, the only place where gift could be purchased. The only "gifts" were $3 beach balls. And so two were purchased. I got home at 3am. My wife did have two xmas stockings she filled with nick knacks and we wrapped the balls in xmas paper. Our children woke and they loved their beach balls and stockings. There has never been a better xmas. Two weeks later we got a new fridge and filled it and the pantry with food. Two months later I got a job. I've believed ever since....that you can make your own luck in life. Merry xmas Tony WK

Kate850 Tips and Tricks for - self-care, resilience in the work place, supporting colleagues with mental health needs & managing vicarious trauma
  • replies: 3

Hi all, I've come across a range of challenges this year that has significantly impacted my mental health. I would like to know if anyone has any specific personal strategies or attitudes they adopt to help them deal with the following key challenges... View more

Hi all, I've come across a range of challenges this year that has significantly impacted my mental health. I would like to know if anyone has any specific personal strategies or attitudes they adopt to help them deal with the following key challenges. I've asked a range of questions that might be answered when considering these challenges but course any extra comment or elaboration is welcomed. - Self-care: How do you self-identify when it is time to 'pull-back' at work and take some time out? How do you check-in with yourself? What strategies do you build into your day to make sure you are in-touch with how you are feeling? - Resilience: How do you process and work through challenging situations with colleagues? (i.e. conflict at work, personality differences, politics, communication breakdown). What attitudes, mantras, ethical values help you to 'carry on' and weather workplace demands? How do you distance yourself from problems at work? Prevent yourself from taking it home with you? - Supporting Colleagues with Mental Health Needs/Vicarious Trauma When a colleague or client is experiencing a high degree of distress, how do you provide practical on-the-ground support without 'sinking with the ship'? What strategies do you put in place to manage good rapport with colleagues whilst maintaining emotional boundaries? (i.e. not exposing yourself too much to other's personal disclosure/off-loading of psychological and social difficulties). I work in the healthcare industry but I imagine these themes or issues are commonly experienced in a range of industries. Any additional resources, websites, training courses would also be welcomed if you know of any! Thanks, K

Bethie How to say No?
  • replies: 2

Hi I've recently found it harder and harder to say No to to people. When I say no to my 14 year old son I my anxiety really acts up with feelings of self doubt and thinking I'm a bad mum. It gets to the point where I get angry at him. He doesn't exac... View more

Hi I've recently found it harder and harder to say No to to people. When I say no to my 14 year old son I my anxiety really acts up with feelings of self doubt and thinking I'm a bad mum. It gets to the point where I get angry at him. He doesn't exactly miss out on anything. All his school stuff is brought well ahead of time and activities are paid months in advance he does out of school. Christmas alone he's had just over $800 worth of gifts. Not like the basic shoes/clothes but new BMX frame (over $500) and a new pocket bike to name a few. Even when friends ask me for a coffee and I'm busy I still find myself squeezing the time in because I can't say no. I never used to be like this before my husbands accident 7 months ago. All I basically had to do then was go to work and makes sure everything was paid on time and my husband took care of the rest because I was making very good money. ATM I've gone on carers payment to look after him for a while but I know I've still got my job when ever I want it. Luxury of being a trade. Dor a anyone else find those 2 letters N O hard?

Tasa83 Summer Solstice and sleep disturbances
  • replies: 1

I am an insomniac and despite all my sleep tricks (music, total darkness, grounding exercises and sleeping pills) I was still awake until 6am. For no reason. I was very tired and wanted to sleep but nothing helped. The earlier it got the more anxious... View more

I am an insomniac and despite all my sleep tricks (music, total darkness, grounding exercises and sleeping pills) I was still awake until 6am. For no reason. I was very tired and wanted to sleep but nothing helped. The earlier it got the more anxious I got the less sleep I got. I have issues with daylight savings and seasonal affective disorder so I’m wondering if last night’s lack of sleep was the Summer Solstice. Does anyone else get affected by stuff like weather and time changes?

white knight Coping with anniversaries
  • replies: 0

Over many years I've had a change in my thinking processes from high emotional reaction to logic explainations. This one I share with you because it has been one of the building blocks to how I cope. Lets take the anniversary to a marriage break up b... View more

Over many years I've had a change in my thinking processes from high emotional reaction to logic explainations. This one I share with you because it has been one of the building blocks to how I cope. Lets take the anniversary to a marriage break up being a week before xmas. That week years ago was terrible, drowning in grief your xmas was wrecked. If you are anniversary sensitive you could easily not only remember the date but also inadvertently kick start the grieving process all over again..and ruin another xmas, and another..."this day 10 years ago he left me" An anniversary in realistic terms is a point in time when the earth is at the same point rotating around our sun, nothing more. A friend of mine has OCD and is adament he takes his medication bang on the minute after 9am. In fact he stands ready, watching the clock until 9am on the dot!. Its odd to me because if such paranoia on time was so important he was actually a full hour out of whack during the daylight saving months. See the problem with obsession with time? Some people harbour anniversaries so much it effects their mental health. A friend of mine has a diary of her daily life. Nightly she reads what happened the year before on that day. She was so tired one night she missed reading her diary. The next night she decided to catch up and realised she had missed the anniversary of her divorce. Her divorce had been 5 years earlier. She plunged into sadness for a day. A day wasted? The miss had triggered her depression. I asked her why the day was so important "its the day I got divorced" I asked her to retrieve the divorce papers...the actual date was a month before the anniversary, she locked her mind on the day she received notification in the mail. Once informed of that she realised how irrelevant her rituals of day recognition actually was, that such over emphasis on anniversaries is counter productive and can work against your recovery. A trigger. Anniversaries are great, if they are ones to celebrate not mourn. Replace the grieving dates with a ritual of a memory like flowers on a gravesite or a few minutes reflecting on a bad day in the past but keep it in perspective and enjoy the rest of the day. After all, its only where the earth is in its orbit...nothing more...and life is short. But guys, dont forget your wedding anniversary what ever you do. Tony WK