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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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white knight Anxiety from INJUSTICE
  • replies: 0

We grow up knowing right from wrong. We adults pride ourselves that we uphold our values. We battle with others to push for what is right and condemn what’s wrong. For many of us with mental illness and extra sensitivities we react greater when issue... View more

We grow up knowing right from wrong. We adults pride ourselves that we uphold our values. We battle with others to push for what is right and condemn what’s wrong. For many of us with mental illness and extra sensitivities we react greater when issues occur but its is argueable that sometimes wrong things happen and we get caught up in situations that nearly anyone can get caught up in. Injustice done to us can happen anywhere, anytime then suddenly we are forced to defend. While defending our honour, when we are already fragile, we suffer greatly. It lowers our resilience to a new low. Australia, a democracy. As someone once said “Democracy is evil, but better than the alternative” or similar. That’s an indication that there are faults in the system. Good examples can be googled like “the padington bear affair” and the “ colour TV affair” These are situations whereby politicians tried to re-enter the country and not pay tax on goods. The pressure the customs officer was under from their own supervisors was enormous. One officer ended up not being able to leave his unit such was the damage done. In my case as a dog ranger/bylaws officer in the 1980’s I had an unblemished working record in prisons and investigations. I was subjected to pressure (directions) to favour a local politicians car in outer Melbourne. My boss wanted me to ignore that habit he had of parking in a disabled zone. I refused on strong principle. The zone wasn’t set aside for a fat cat to park their because his office was 10 metres away. There was a free car park 50 metres away. But this direction also came from higher above, the town clerk, a mate of the polly. You can see the problem. I could have, in hindsight told my boss that he had a choice- have troubles or patrol that street himself. He likely would have chosen the latter. But what occurred is that my righteousness and sensitivity on attempts to corrupt me, took hold. The result was a panic attack (initially believed to be a heart attack) off work, an inquiry I instigated and lost as the scapegoat and an ombudsman inquiry that was ineffective regardless of evidence. Welcome to justice!. I did get on radio and in the Herald-Sun news but that was slim pickings compared to- losing my income, my health and family stress. Upholding values doesn't pay the bills. There are times though that we should fight because the injustice is too great to ignore. If so, don't feel guilty- uphold your values but care for your well being. Tony WK

white knight FIGHT IT!! but how?
  • replies: 12

Fighting against anything has its limitations. An Army could blast its way through enemy lines but a wise commander might find a more peaceful way to achieve agreement and save many lives. With depression its isn't that much different. When you are i... View more

Fighting against anything has its limitations. An Army could blast its way through enemy lines but a wise commander might find a more peaceful way to achieve agreement and save many lives. With depression its isn't that much different. When you are in that low zone it is pointless forcing yourself to "fight it". You can push hard to do the shopping and find yourself a mess in your car unable to move. What have you achieved then? So as a sequel to my thread (google Topic: depression, the timing of motivation- beyondblue) I'd like to list some ideas of how to "fight it" in a wise way. To tame that black dog. Patience- if you don't have any don't feel bad (google Topic: supermarket shelves- beyondblue. Cure is rare with depression so try finding a little patience to at least allow medication and therapy to work. Withdraw- Pulling back from social events a little. Not fully but ask yourself "do I have the option of staying home"? "Do I have the option of not being a committee member of my club"? Back to basics- (google Topic: back to basics- beyondblue) Medications- take them, don't fall into the mind trap of thinking they are not needed. Work with your GP (google Topic: medication is a whirlpool- beyondblue) Lifestyle- A change is as good as a ??? And if a few days/weeks away on a holiday works for you consider moving to such an environment Family and friends- You have the decision making as to who stays in your life. You can determine if they are toxic or unhelpful. Find the tact to let them go or drift away. Remember, we are talking about your mental health. Intrusive thoughts- Like everything else try to pull back moderately. Elimination of them is an unwise expectation. Reduce them by distraction. (Topic: distraction and variety- beyondblue) Faith- whatever your religious persuasion is embrace it. Also have an open mind as to your journey to your inner heart. (Google Maharaji sunset youtube) Feel lucky- this state of mind, positivity, your ability to get moving but....you need to be mentally well enough. Wait for that cycle to pick up then implement. (Google Maharaji the perfect instrument youtube) Team effort- If you have a carer then rely on him/her to gauge how you are behaving, where you're at. Don't forget to care for them (Topic: who cares for the carer- beyondblue) Disconnect- The burdens of the past, make peace with them. Write them on a pebble and throw them in the river. Fighting it, is to be wise by not fighting it. Tony WK

ScarlettR Do you finding taking public transport a sort of therapy, psychologically and socially?
  • replies: 1

I know that to many people, taking public transport can be a dreaded and stressful part of daily life, whether it be buses, trams or trains. As a person dealing with depression and anxiety, I actually like taking public transport. I live in Melbourne... View more

I know that to many people, taking public transport can be a dreaded and stressful part of daily life, whether it be buses, trams or trains. As a person dealing with depression and anxiety, I actually like taking public transport. I live in Melbourne CBD so the main mode of transport here are trams. Whether you get a seat or not, here are some positive aspects of public transport: - the feeling of "flying" through places, even if it's on wheels - sight seeing and people watching - opportunity to listen to music in a mainly steady and fast paced environment - opportunity to provide good manners to fellow passengers (make room for them to sit, making room for the disabled, people with babies, pregnant mothers, the elderly) - an instant "feel good" boost - opportunity to get outside to get some much needed Vitamin D All this may sound obvious, but if you're dealing with anxiety and fear of closed spaces (like I am), recognising the small things in life gives meaning and purpose.

CMF Changing habits
  • replies: 10

Changing habits can be hard. We get up the same time every day, do the same things the same way. Same old, same old, we become programmed to doing things a certain way, like a robot. Sometimes we need to reassess these daily habits. I read an article... View more

Changing habits can be hard. We get up the same time every day, do the same things the same way. Same old, same old, we become programmed to doing things a certain way, like a robot. Sometimes we need to reassess these daily habits. I read an article once about how much money we could save if we only bought what we absolutely needed, no more impulsive buys of things we don't need. I always use my debit card to pay for things. I rarely carry cash, just tap or swipe and off i go. Trouble with this is we can lose track of spending until we look at our bank balance. $5 here, $2 there, oh look, thats on sale I'll just get it 'just in case'. I've decided to change this. I have set myself a daily budget (subject to adjustment). From now on my goal is to withdraw money for the week based on my daily budget. I will no longer tap or swipe my card but try and stick to using cash only. My budget includes groceries, petrol and my daily chai and necessities for the kids. If I don't use the allocated amount each day I hang onto it, if i go over it means I have less for the next day. The aim of this is to not live down to the last cent every week and what is left in the account hopefully grow and help pay bills or cover any 'wants' now and then. It makes me conscious of what i am buying and thinking' do i really need this'. It also makes me conscious of what i buy at the supermarket, looking for items on sale and cheaper options. I am one of those people who will see a top on sale for $5 or a bag or shoes for $10 and think 'wow what a bargain,I'll just get it" I have found that these bargains tend to sit in the cupboard, then get moved to the shed when I have a clean out and eventually go to the brotherhood bin because i never used them. I'm an emotional shopper, i buy little things because it makes me feel good. My goal is to change this habit . If i am bored and feel the urge to go shopping I may clean out a cupboard instead or clean up the garden. I have enough of everything i need. I'm hoping this new habit will improve the way i feel as i see I am achieving something and maybe even not going down to the last cent every week which is depressing and causes more emotional spending. I also want to get a container and each day put $1 in it. Just $1. By the end of the year that is $365. I really want to do this. If I can stick to this and I am still struggling then i need to look at what needs to change. Do you have any habits you want to change? CMF

meercat Clearing clutter and clatter in your life
  • replies: 31

Have you noticed clutter and clatter around your place? *is your house like a typhoon hit it and full of clutter? *is Your mind full of clatter.. problems, media clatter, family clatter telling you how you should do things, be, say, act. Yes, i know ... View more

Have you noticed clutter and clatter around your place? *is your house like a typhoon hit it and full of clutter? *is Your mind full of clatter.. problems, media clatter, family clatter telling you how you should do things, be, say, act. Yes, i know google can tell us what to do.. but you might like to take a moment and look around your home, your head. Its meercat den cleaning month here at the moment, my home is breeding notebooks..notes everywhere..what to do, what to say,where to go. You know the kind of stuff, neat piles of it.. but lots of it, articles from the 80's. Magazines, recipes, things to do..i could not use them in a lifetime. The clatter.. no one needs to tell me what to do..i already have an army of meercats chattering in my head. How to remedy this situation..you tell me!! Cheers meercat xx

romantic_thi3f Last thing that made you smile?
  • replies: 11

Hi all What made you smile today? Doesn't matter if it's big or small or whether it's one or a hundred things. If you can't think of anything hopefully reading this list might make you smile. I'll start 1. My dog. His name is Buddy and we adopted him... View more

Hi all What made you smile today? Doesn't matter if it's big or small or whether it's one or a hundred things. If you can't think of anything hopefully reading this list might make you smile. I'll start 1. My dog. His name is Buddy and we adopted him. He likes to follow me around the house and he's great company. Whenever I let him in from outside he jumps up on me for a cuddle. 2. Cadbury Creme Eggs were on special at Coles. Yay for budgeting and yay for chocolate. 3. The quote "The human body is 90% water so we're basically cucumbers with anxiety".

white knight Illusion vs imagination vs reality
  • replies: 4

When my depression was at its peak, I found it almost impossible to do some of the basic tasks. Gardening, a walk, washing the dog and shopping. My problem was the weakness of my mind, fear and loss of confidence. Fear of what? Well, more a feeling o... View more

When my depression was at its peak, I found it almost impossible to do some of the basic tasks. Gardening, a walk, washing the dog and shopping. My problem was the weakness of my mind, fear and loss of confidence. Fear of what? Well, more a feeling of safety within my home. The place I was regrouping. So to overcome this uncontrolled mind of mine I set about imagining things. When gardening I'd imagine running along a beach, riding a motorbike or a horse. After a while it became a habit. Great advancement came when my therapist asked me about my newfound method of overcoming such hurdles. I talked, he listened. Finally he suggested that the reason I was in fear, bound to my home etc was my state of mind in that I wasnt being realistic with my thoughts. If I was real I wouldn't be in fear walking around a town of 200 people, wouldnt be worried when doing tasks like gardening and not be worried about crowds if I shopped early in the week. Sometimes we need to discipline ourselves, take control and chastise our thoughts to be real. Failure to do that is like letting a scrambled mind do as it pleases. Dont let random thoughts control common natural operation of your mind. Temporary thoughts to overcome a hurdle is ok but if you garden, focus on gardening, go for a walk then observe what you see and so on. Such focus takes practice. Every boat needs a rudder....fix your rudder... Tony WK

Croix Thank you Community Champions
  • replies: 12

Dear Community Champions, I would like to offer you all my sincerest thanks and tell you of my admiration. Now at Christmas it seems the appropriate time to do so. I joined the forums a couple of years ago, knowing nothing about bb and just expecting... View more

Dear Community Champions, I would like to offer you all my sincerest thanks and tell you of my admiration. Now at Christmas it seems the appropriate time to do so. I joined the forums a couple of years ago, knowing nothing about bb and just expecting to have a quick browse. The quality of your efforts to assist, the breadth of your knowledge, the empathy and caring you display and your tenacity to keep going no matter how difficult a post may be to answer have been a source of information, comfort and inspiration to me, and I’m sure to a multitude of others. You started out as vague names and avatars, but over time it has become obvious that you are human - and have your own problems with which to deal, despite which you lead others. You were and continue to be a real and enduring help. I hope this Christmas is one you can look back on with fondness. Croix December 25, 2016

white knight My Christmas story
  • replies: 30

It was in 1994. I was 36yo and my father had recently passed away. I had two daughters6 and 3yo and had been unemployed for 2 years. Xmas was looking bleak, we were poor and I found it impossible to find work. I was good with handyman work though and... View more

It was in 1994. I was 36yo and my father had recently passed away. I had two daughters6 and 3yo and had been unemployed for 2 years. Xmas was looking bleak, we were poor and I found it impossible to find work. I was good with handyman work though and my mind went into mania mode...I found a way I could give my girls a great xmas. I designed the perfect cubby house. It had dormer windows, was portable and painted bright colours. Pink with grey and green with cream. Or any colour they ordered. I built one and took it to a town show and kids wouldnt get out of it. Mums had to drag them out. I knew I was onto something. This idea was my temporary saviour. Because my marriage was on the rocks and I had little idea of my mental illnesses. All I knew was I was going downhill fast. I withdrew our last dollars to buy more floorboards and advertised in the trading post. Two weeks later I had orders for14 cubbies all to be delivered xmas eve. I frantically began to build and borrow more money to buy more materials. I toiled for 19 hours a day. Xmas eve arrived and at 4am I woke to a "town" of brightly coloured cubbies on our backyard where my daughters had played for the last few weeks. One by one they were delivered all over the Victorian state towed by my old trusty Ford Zephyr. 19 hours later I had the last cubby on the trailer bound for Melbourne 2 hours away. I was spent, exhausted but I was estatic. My pocket was full of money...around $8000 of which $2000 was to be repaid in materials. I delivered the cubby. The parents of that lucky girl got me to eat santas carrot cake and in front of this couple I burst into tears totally overcome and exhausted. I drove home and a few kilometres from home I realised I'd forgotten to buy my daughters a xmas gift. All our money had gone into building materials and I was so busy delivering cubbies- I'd forgot. I drove another hour to arrive at a service station at a town named Kalkallo on the outskirts of Melbourne, the only place where gift could be purchased. The only "gifts" were $3 beach balls. And so two were purchased. I got home at 3am. My wife did have two xmas stockings she filled with nick knacks and we wrapped the balls in xmas paper. Our children woke and they loved their beach balls and stockings. There has never been a better xmas. Two weeks later we got a new fridge and filled it and the pantry with food. Two months later I got a job. I've believed ever since....that you can make your own luck in life. Merry xmas Tony WK

Kate850 Tips and Tricks for - self-care, resilience in the work place, supporting colleagues with mental health needs & managing vicarious trauma
  • replies: 3

Hi all, I've come across a range of challenges this year that has significantly impacted my mental health. I would like to know if anyone has any specific personal strategies or attitudes they adopt to help them deal with the following key challenges... View more

Hi all, I've come across a range of challenges this year that has significantly impacted my mental health. I would like to know if anyone has any specific personal strategies or attitudes they adopt to help them deal with the following key challenges. I've asked a range of questions that might be answered when considering these challenges but course any extra comment or elaboration is welcomed. - Self-care: How do you self-identify when it is time to 'pull-back' at work and take some time out? How do you check-in with yourself? What strategies do you build into your day to make sure you are in-touch with how you are feeling? - Resilience: How do you process and work through challenging situations with colleagues? (i.e. conflict at work, personality differences, politics, communication breakdown). What attitudes, mantras, ethical values help you to 'carry on' and weather workplace demands? How do you distance yourself from problems at work? Prevent yourself from taking it home with you? - Supporting Colleagues with Mental Health Needs/Vicarious Trauma When a colleague or client is experiencing a high degree of distress, how do you provide practical on-the-ground support without 'sinking with the ship'? What strategies do you put in place to manage good rapport with colleagues whilst maintaining emotional boundaries? (i.e. not exposing yourself too much to other's personal disclosure/off-loading of psychological and social difficulties). I work in the healthcare industry but I imagine these themes or issues are commonly experienced in a range of industries. Any additional resources, websites, training courses would also be welcomed if you know of any! Thanks, K